Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About.

Jasper Fforde was kind enough to appear as a guest on The Keith Law Show last month, and I asked him a question – of which I’d warned him in advance – about what books he would include in a class on comic novels. It was inspired by my favorite class in college, “Comedy and the Novel,” which introduced me to at least three of my all-time favorite novels: Jacques the Fatalist, If on a winter’s night a traveler…, and my favorite novel ever written, The Master & Margarita.

One of Fforde’s answers was Mil Millingham’s Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About, and having read it, I can see why Fforde recommended it – it shares much of his style of humor, appreciation of the absurd, and derisive attitude towards all things bureaucratic. The book alternates between two parallel threads: The narrator, Pel, arguing with his girlfriend, and losing; and Pel’s day job at the library of the local university, where all sorts of shenanigans are taking place, including open corruption, the construction of a new building over what might be a graveyard, and not very much librarying.

Pel’s arguments with his girlfriend, an attractive German blonde named Ursula with a personality that might be described as slightly vampiric, are by far the funnier half of the book. While Millingham is certainly not showing Ursula’s best side, he doesn’t paint her as a witch, or a permanently unreasonable person, or one of those, “women, am right?” women. She’s more strong-willed, occasionally unreasonable, but less unreasonable than Pel is, and if anything, he comes off worse – he’s not going to die of overexertion, and he seems to step right into it every time one of those arguments goes on for more than a line or two. She’s just right more often than he is, and his narrative attempts to make her seem the unreasonable one reflect more on him. They have two young sons, who act as boys that age do, and whose antics will probably be hilarious to those of you with kids and mildly amusing to those without.

The stuff at work is a lot less compelling, and gets to the fundamental problem with Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About, which is that the story here is as thin as rice paper. Pel’s former boss has left the country for parts unknown, and it appears he has absconded with Someone Else’s Money, which might itself be enough raw material for a cracking comedy of errors, but Millingham dispenses with that, mining it for some racially insensitive humor and eventually just moving along to another story. Pel also sexually harasses a colleague, falls into a giant hole, says the absolute wrong thing to some extremely annoying journalists (who would have been shot, or at least pushed into that giant hole, in the United States), and repeatedly fails to do his job – which seems to barely meet the requirements of a job, except that he gets paid for what little he is asked to do (which he doesn’t do anyway). It seems like Millingham had the idea of depicting a highly dysfunctional workplace, which has been done before but I’ll allow it, and then populating it with idiots and loonies, which has also been done before but will often make me laugh anyway, but it never adds up to anything here. Even when he catches one of his antagonists doing something he shouldn’t be doing, it’s nowhere near as funny as it should be, because those various colleagues of his are not that well-drawn, so when they fail or flop, it’s less funny than he might have planned.

The Ursula stuff, however, is the goods. I could have read a whole book just about the two of them arguing over matters large (they move to another house, and it goes as well as you’d expect) and small (Ursula scares off the gutter cleaners by speaking German to them, which culminates in a riotous high-speed car chase). That’s the sort of book that doesn’t need much plot, and the ending Millingham gives this novel would have worked better if the entire thing had been just about the two of them. So I’d still recommend Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About if you’re in the mood for a laugh, as long as you keep your expectations for plot on the lower side.

Next up: Daniel Kahneman’s new book Noise: A Flaw in Human Judgment.

Music update, August 2021.

August finished with quite a bang for new music, so this playlist more than doubled in length in the last week, but I’ll take this as a great sign for how we’ll finish a year that has seemed a little flat for new music. Perhaps the imminent fall/winter tours are driving all this new music coming out. Anyway, if you can’t see the widget below, you can access the Spotify playlist here.

Robert Plant & Alison Krauss – Can’t Let Go. Fourteen years after their hugely acclaimed collaboration Raising Sand, which won six Grammy Awards, Plant and Krauss have reunited for a follow-up, Raise the Roof, due out on November 19th. This track, written by Randy Weeks and previously recorded by Lucinda Williams, is a hell of a lead single. It’s just about perfect.

Jungle – Truth. Jungle’s third album, Loving in Stereo, has a few bangers, including this, “All of the Time,” and “Keep Moving,” and some slower tracks that don’t do it for me. Jungle’s best work makes you want to dance. I want more of this.

CHVRCHES – Final Girl. CHVRCHES’ fourth album, Screen Violence, is a real return to form for the trio after the disappointing Love is Dead, with stronger lyrics and better hooks, as well as real guitars. This, “How Not to Drown,” and “Good Girls” are the highlights for me.

The Wombats – If You Ever Leave, I’m Coming With You. Now that’s more like it – this feels almost Glitterbug-esque, from the big hooks to the delightfully absurd lyrics. Their fifth album, Fix Yourself, Not the World, drops on January 7th.

Geese – Low Era. Geese announced their debut album, Projector, will drop on October 29th, including this track and their first single “Disco.” The Brooklyn quintet’s second track is slower, more dissonant, but still kind of intoxicating. I get black midi and alt-J vibes from them, which could cut both ways, but for now I’m excited for the album.

Kid Kapichi – American Scream. Kid Kapichi’s This Time Next Year is one of my favorite albums of 2021, and the deluxe version, which comes out on October 29th, will include four unreleased tracks, including this one.

Purity Ring – soshy. It’s written as one word but Megan James sings it as “so shy,” which I would say is a bit toocute. But it’s a good song, more uptempo than a lot of their stuff, while still a strong musical showcase for James’ vocals.

Creeper – Midnight. Creeper’s EP American Noir is supposed to serve as an epilogue to their incredible 2020 album Sex, Death, and the Infinite Void, with 8 new tracks running 19 minutes, including this very “Because the Night”-like duet, and the intro song “Midnight Militia”, a 75-second throwback to the punk sound they showed on their debut album, Eternity, in Your Arms.

Quicksand – Colossus. I was a little underwhelmed by Quicksand’s latest album, Distant Populations, after their surprisingly strong comeback album, 2017’s Interiors. It’s their first album without guitarist Tom Capone, who was arrested for shoplifting while on their last tour and appears to have some mental health issues. This is the best track on the record, though, with the most vintage Quicksand sound to it.

Turnstile – DON’T PLAY. Turnstile is definitely the it band on the rock side of things right now; I compared their song “BLACKOUT” to early Helmet, and Helmet certainly had that kind of buzz before Meantime hit. Anyway, Turnstile’s album GLOW ON is out now, and it’s great, a mixture of hardcore punk and plenty of post-punk tracks, more of the latter, really, which makes all the talk of them as a hardcore band seem a little behind the times. They’re good, and I think this album is going to be all over year-end lists, but they’re a lot more than just a hardcore punk band now.

Deafheaven – In Blur. So Deafheaven has gone from blackgaze to shoegaze, dropping almost all the trappings of death/black metal that characterized their previous four albums; the only screamed vocals on Infinite Granite come at the very end of a few songs, and I don’t think I heard any blast beats. Sunbather was on every critic’s top ten list for its year, or so it seemed, and I would bet you a huge amount of money most of them never got through the entire album and/or have never listened to it since, because almost nobody can stand that much screaming. If they could, extreme metal would be a shit-ton more popular than it is. Anyway, my guess is Deafheaven realized that they’d make a lot more money by toning down the black metal nonsense and crafting something that would appeal to a wider audience – which they could do without compromising the remainder of their musical aesthetic. Infinite Granite is a good shoegaze album, and that should boost their popularity. It is, however, not exactly groundbreaking stuff; if you put this album in 1993, it would fit in nicely with Ride and Slowdive, more accessible than My Bloody Valentine’s two albums of the era but with a similar vibe. The crime will be if this record gets worse reviews than Sunbather despite being music most people could actually enjoy.

Thrice – Robot Soft Exorcism. It’s funny; I always like Thrice’s lead single off a record a bit more than their second single, regardless of how much I end up liking the eventual album. I like “Robot Soft Exorcism,” especially the energy in the chorus, although “Scavengers” was better. Anyway, Horizons/East will be out on the 17th, and I look forward to seeing them here in Philly in October.

Chrome – Terminate. Not gonna lie: I had no idea Helios Creed was still going. Scaropy is the 23rd album released under the Chrome name, although I think it’s also fair to say Chrome hasn’t been real Chrome since the last Edge/Creed record, 1982’s 3rd From the Sun. Anyway, I don’t think Scaropy is very good, but this is the best track on it.

Unknown Mortal Orchesta – That Life. I included this track primarily for that weird, briefly dissonant guitar riff. Without that, the track would be utterly generic, but that riff is great.

Ariel Posen & Cory Wong – Spare Tire. Instrumental jazz-funk from two great guitarists … and it’s under 3 minutes, so it doesn’t overstay its welcome (if anything, they could have gone another minute and it would have been fine considering how strong the groove is).

Griff – One Night. Griff’s mixtape came out in June and reached #4 on the UK album charts, and now she’s back with another gem of a new single. The 20-year-old singer/songwriter seems headed for pop stardom, at least over in Europe, although I’m hoping the U.S. will catch on.

Maisie Peters – Elvis Song. Speaking of heading for stardom, Peters’ debut album, You Signed Up for This, came out a week ago on Ed Sheeran’s record label, and is likely to debut in the top 3 on the UK albums chart on Friday. The album is very good, with Peters’ great knack for telling stories about teenage romances gone wrong, but it’s also slickly produced pop that made me miss Peters’ more singer-songwritery stuff from when she was first starting out.

Courtney Barnett – Before You Gotta Go. I love Barnett the lyricist, and I have resigned myself to Barnett the singer. Whether I like her songs comes down to whether there’s a decent melody beneath them, regardless of tempo, although there’s a clear correlation between the two. This song is a little faster than her norm, and it has a little groove to it, so that the thing she does best – I’d call her a top 5 wordsmith in music right now – gets a chance to shine.

Alien Boy – The Way I Feel. This Portland quartet might have just stepped out of the mid-90s, with jangle-alt-indie-pop sounds and a hint of shoegaze in the production. The band’s name comes from a 1980 Wipers song, which was about James Chasse, who was later murdered by police in 2006 after he was arrested and beaten, breaking 26 bones, while he was probably having a psychotic episode.

Gorillaz feat. AJ Tracey – Jimmy Jimmy. I might be alone in this, but I’ve found most of Gorillaz’ output since their first two albums to be pretty boring. Even this song sounds like Damon Albarn mailed in the music – is that just a sample from “Clint Eastwood” on a loop in the background – but Tracey’s vocals make it something better than the typical Gorillaz track.

Jorja Smith x GuiltyBeatz – All of This. Smith did tell us in May that she would Be Right Back, and here she is again, now with an amapiano collaboration with Ghanaian-Italian producer GuiltyBeatz.

Tom Morello & Phantogram – Driving to Texas. This sounds like a great Phantogram song, but it’s going to appear on Morello’s upcoming album, and I don’t know that I hear him here. Maybe that’s a sign of how expansive the new record will be?

Dream Theater – Alien. It’s 9 minutes, just to warn you, but if you like Dream Theater’s proggy style, then you’re probably okay with that. There are some great guitar lines here, although James LaBrie’s voice is sounding a bit worn.

Exodus – The Beatings Will Continue (Until Morale Improves). I can’t believe these guys are 1) still at it and 2) still making almost exactly the same music as they did 35 years ago. Also, I have to make my Exodus joke: It will never not bother me that “Toxic Waltz” is in 4/4 time.

Omnium Gatherum – Paragon. This Finnish melodic death metal band tends towards a more progressive sound than, say, the Gothenburg school that influenced them, and Omnium often mixes some clean vocals in with the death growls, as they do here in the choruses (are those actual harmonies?). It’s the guitar work that reels me in, though, enough for me to ignore some of the ridiculous vocals.

Summer Camp.

Summer Camp has flown under the radar among new games this year because it’s a Target exclusive release (at least for now) and comes from a publisher not known for tabletop strategy titles, Buffalo Games, a publisher of jigsaw puzzles and party games. Yet Summer Camp is from Phil Walker-Harding, the mind behind Cacao, Gizmos, Imhotep, Imhotep: The Duel, and Silver & Gold, and it’s a straight-up deckbuilder, one that – dare I say it – is actually fun for the whole family. It’s so light and breezy for a deckbuilding title that you can play with anyone in the house who reads fluently. Right now, it’s $24.99 on Target.com, although I found it for 10% off in store a few weeks ago.

Summer Camp does have a modular board of 9 tiles that you arrange randomly in a 3×3 grid at the start of each game, forming three paths across the board, left to right, that your campers will try to traverse as you play. Each path is tied to a specific activity – Cooking, Water Sports, Outdoors, Friendship, Arts & Crafts – and has merit badges for campers who get all the way to the end of the path before the game ends, with more points for those who get there first. Along the paths, certain spaces give you a one-time bonus, allowing you to move any camper one more spot, to draw one more card into your hand, or to gain one snack bar (+1 energy for purchasing cards).

The heart of the game is your deck, which you’ll build as the game progresses, trying to get more powerful cards to drown out the relatively weak ten cards with which you start the game: seven Lights Out card, which have no value other than their purchasing power of 1 energy; and one card for each of the three paths that allows you to move your camper forward one space. Other than the Lights Out cards, all cards have an action on them – move 2+ spaces, move any camper one space, draw another card, discard & draw, gain 2-4 energy for purchases on this turn, and so on.

On each turn, you draw a fresh hand of five cards from your deck, and at the end of your turn, you discard all cards to your discard pile, shuffling the latter when your deck runs out. All cards have a value of 1 energy if you don’t use them, so you will never have a turn where you can’t do anything – even drawing five Lights Out card lets you buy one or more cards with a total cost of 5. There are also three stacks of generic cards, not tied to any of the separate path decks, that are always available to purchase – S’mores, cost 2, worth +2 energy for purchases; Scavenger Hunt, cost 3, which lets you discard 1-3 cards and draw that many again; and Free Time, cost 4, which lets you move one camper on any track one space forward. That’s a huge part of what makes this game more friendly to younger players and casual gamers – you will never have a wasted turn. You can always buy something, and the cheapest cards to buy are still useful.

There is some light strategy involved in how you move the campers, balancing the points value of getting the merit badges first – when you get all your campers to the first bridge, one-third of the way across the board, you get the top badge in that pile, and there’s another pile worth more points when you get all your campers to the second bridge – against the value of getting to the end of a path first. You also may move certain campers to trigger those space bonuses, especially the one where you get to draw another card, which can keep your chain of moves moving or just get you more buying power. If there’s a best way to build a deck here, I haven’t caught on to it yet; there is no card anywhere in the game that lets you trash any cards (like the Chapel card in Dominion), and the fact that only two cards are available from each path deck at any given time makes it very hard for one player to monopolize a good card or build a deck full of a specific type of card. That serves to balance things out, and may frustrate experienced players who like deckbuilders that give you more control, but for a game that is clearly aimed at family play – right down to the theme – it makes perfect sense. It’s great for ages 8+ and the box’s suggested play time of 30-45 minutes is about right once everyone gets the deck concept.

Stick to baseball, 8/28/21.

Nothing new from me at the Athletic this week as I’m still dealing with an illness in the family, but I hope to have my next piece up on Thursday of this upcoming week.

I reviewed the board game adaptation of Red Rising for Paste this week, and also reviewed the book from which the game is derived.

I created a T-shirt celebrating the #umpshow to raise money to help Afghan refugees who are settling in the Wilmington area. Proceeds will go to Jewish Family Services of Delaware – they’re aware a donation is coming – and possibly a second group depending on how best we can help. We’re over $650 raised through T-shirt sales, not counting the handful of you who’ve donated directly to JFSD, so thanks to all of you who’ve bought the shirt or donated.

On The Keith Law Show this week, I spoke to CHVRCHES’ Lauren Mayberry about their new album, Screen Violence, which came out yesterday; as well as the toxic environment of social media, working with Robert Smith, and more. You can (and should!) subscribe on iTunes and Spotify. I also appeared as usual on the Friday edition of the Athletic Baseball Daily show.

I’ll be back with an email newsletter and I hope a chat this upcoming week. And don’t forget that my second book The Inside Game is now out in paperback.

And now, the links…

  • The New Yorker profiled my colleague Katie Strang, who has become the industry’s leading writer on athletes and coaches accused of domestic violence or sexual assault.
  • Dr. J. Stacey Klutts, a clinical associate professor of pathology and clinical microbiology at the University of Iowa, wrote a great primer on what we know now about the Delta variant. The Des Moines Register should have asked him to write an editorial, not the unqualified grad student and COVID-19 minimizer they invited instead.
  • Many professors are leaving their jobs rather than teach in-person, especially at schools that won’t require masks or vaccines. Some schools are, of course, prevented from issuing such mandates because of the death cult running their states.
  • More U.S. police officers died of COVID-19 in 2020 than from all other causes combined. Yet I keep seeing reports of officers and even union chapters fighting vaccine mandates.
  • A new lawsuit accusing Horatio Sanz of grooming and abusing a teenage girl that names him, Saturday Night Live, and NBC may blow the lid off a bigger story about the culture on that show and impugn other cast members from that time, notably Jimmy Fallon.
  • Facebook refused two Representatives’ request for more information on the company’s (minimal) efforts to fight COVID-19 misinformation on its platform. I found multiple groups dedicated to the deworming drug Ivermectin, including at least two that purport to help people get prescriptions for it, active on Facebook just this week. Reporting them has had no apparent effect.
  • Eagle-Gryphon Games has brought us a new(ish) title from the late designer Sid Sackson, combining elements of his games The Great Race and Can’t Stop into Route 66 The Mother Road, now on Kickstarter and already well past its funding goal.

Red Rising.

I wasn’t familiar with Pierce Brown’s Red Rising series until a review copy of the game, also called Red Rising, showed up a few months ago. My review of the game, which I enjoyed quite a bit, is up now over at Paste, and as part of my research for that game I read the first novel in the series. It’s not as good as the game is, with a fairly juvenile plot married to enough graphic violence to keep it from the YA section, but reading the book did help me understand the character cards in the game more and see how well designer Jamey Stegmaier integrated the two.

The novel tells the story of Darrow, a particularly skilled miner of helium-2 who lives and works in a colony beneath the surface of Mars with other “Reds.” The dystopian society of the novel has humanity stratified into castes identified by colors, with Golds at the top and Reds at the bottom, taking up the most dangerous jobs and unaware of how far civilization has advanced on Mars’s surface. A rebel group saves Darrow from execution and drafts him to infiltrate the world up top, hacking his body to make him appear to be a Gold so he can try to enter the competition held at the Institute to identify future leaders for the Martian government, and thus eventually topple the Golds’ rule from within. After he succeeds, he finds himself in a Lord of the Flies-like environment where some unknown number of teenagers are separated into a dozen Houses and must fight each other – and try to survive without ready sources of food or water – to determine who will be Primus of each House and who will be the ultimate winner of the contest.

The setting of the novel is almost incidental to everything that happens within it – Brown just needed a world where it was plausible that there’d be a de facto slave caste living beneath the surface, believing that they were working towards the noble goal of creating a habitable planet up above, unaware that this had already occurred and they were simply held in bondage. The science aspect here is really shaky, from the idea of terraforming Pluto (surface temperature -226 C) or a thriving colony on Venus (surface temperature 475 C, with rainfall so acidic its pH is negative) to the way Brown introduces random advanced technologies when the plot requires them, but he has created a fairly strong set of core characters around which to build the story.

Darrow is a well-rounded protagonist whose rage often clouds his judgment, so while his rapid ascent to one of the leadership roles in his House in the game is rather convenient, he’s also prone to missteps, from rash decisions to difficulty deciding whom to trust, that create tension and move the story along in more credible ways. Cassius, an early ally who doesn’t know any of Darrow’s secrets, is more complex than the typical “arrogant scion” archetype, while their house-mate Sevro is an endearing nut who runs around in wolf skins and forms a ragtag army of misfits from the House who become the Howlers. Mustang is the most well-defined woman character in the book, which skews heavily male among core characters, although the depth of her personality doesn’t become apparent until near the end of the story. Some of the various lieutenants in Darrow’s armies grow over the course of the book and acquire enough character of their own to be more than just redshirts (or goldshirts), which also made their character cards in the game more meaningful.

The story is gratuitously violent from shortly after Darrow enters the institute, which may be the point, or just a very grim view of humanity, but it has the same problem I have with most superhero movies – solving problems by beating the hell out of your enemy. Darrow eventually comes around to a less-violent approach, but still a violent one, and the way the great game works involves physically subduing your rivals if you don’t actually kill them. Darrow is clever, and often thinks like a master tactician, so when the result of a battle is bodily dismemberment, it’s unsatisfying, because the character should be capable of more than this – but I’m not sure if Brown himself is.

Red Rising has a real conclusion, while still leaving the long-term story intact for future novels, which now number two in Darrow’s story plus two more set in the same universe. I’m not that driven to continue, however, because I’m expecting more of the same – Darrow will co-opt some rivals, kill a few enemies (or have his minions do it and then bemoan their level of bloodthirst), and eventually avenge the death that started the whole ball rolling. It was a quick enough read, but the story just isn’t that different from most of those in the YA fantasy/sci-fi space.

Next up: Jasper Fforde’s recommendation of Mil Millington’s Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About.

Terror Below.

The post-apocalyptic game Terror Below came out in 2019, from Renegade Game Studios and designer Mike Elliott (Thunderstone Quest), and asks players to fight giant worms that are living below the planet’s surface, occasionally poking their giant, disgusting heads up to lay eggs and spread rubble across the board. If you like the way co-operative games like Pandemic or the Forbidden series make the board harder to play as the game progresses, but want to try that in a competitive game, Terror Below might be your cup of tea.

The board is a 6×6 grid that has five location tiles scattered on it and, at the start of the game, has at least four worm eggs, one in each color, and some rubble strewn across it. Players can move their pawns by playing vehicle cards, with action point values from 2 to 7, to one of the three worm cards currently on the board. You may use action points to move one space, clear one piece of rubble from an adjacent space, pick up all the eggs in a space (which ends your turn immediately), or deliver an egg to a location. Those egg deliveries can earn you bounties, of which there are always four public ones at the top of the board, for victory points.

Between each player’s turn, you check to see if any of the worms on the board have enough vehicle cards played to their spaces to meet the number on the card’s lower left, which would then trigger a worm attack. Each worm is tied to a target token, numbered 1, 2, and 3, that starts in a space indicated on the worm card but may move as players play vehicle cards or use other powers. When a worm attacks, you put an egg where its target token was, then spread rubble tokens in a defined pattern around that target token, with a maximum of two rubble tokens per space. (Players can’t move into a space with rubble on it unless they have a card that specifically allows them to do so.) Then you discard that worm card and draw a new one, placing that target token at the new card’s coordinates.

If your pawn gets caught in a worm attack, because rubble or an egg lands on the space where it is, you must defend yourself or die – although you can die three times, so it’s not that serious. You start the game with one weapon card and one item card, and you can gain new ones every time you collect three rubble tokens. Weapons are more valuable, since you need them to fight off worm attacks. If you can use your weapons to do enough damage to match the number in a heart on the worm card, you defeat it, and get either a matching bounty card or 1 victory point. Items do have their uses as well, but I would rather be caught without an item than without a weapon in this game. (Hats, permanent item cards that give you one small but useful additional power, are the exception. They’re valuable.)

Each player also gets three Leader cards, and uses one at a time to gain some small extra power – but they’re especially for tracking how often you die in a worm attack. If your Leader is killed, you flip it over and use the next one instead. If all three of your Leaders are killed, and you don’t deliver any eggs to the Hospital to get to resuscitate one of them, you are out of the game.

Play continues until one player has at least 20 victory points from bounty cards (worth 3-4), other worm kills (1 point each), and various other bonuses available throughout the game.  Terror Below also has a solo mode that asks you to complete an objective (deliver eggs to 4 of the 5 location tiles, defeat at least 3 different worm types) before 15 worm attacks are resolved, while also increasing those attacks’ frequency. There’s a guaranteed attack every turn in solo mode, and on some turns you’ll have two attacks, as you add one extra vehicle card at random to one of the three worm cards on the board after each turn you take, so if any worm card hits its limit, it attacks too. There are three scenarios, but they’re each replayable, and two of them present a sufficient challenge.

The strength of Terror Below is the way it takes the Pandemic mechanic of raising the threat level – here, you’re spreading rubble, making more of the board impassable until someone clears it – and puts it into a competitive game. Where it loses me is the vehicle cards, which give too wide a range of action points for each turn, and the rule that says your turn ends when you pick up any egg, which I can understand (it forces you to think about efficient routes) but which ultimately plays as a nuisance. It’s a solid game, with a good theme, probably one that deserves a wider audience than it received, but I’m not sure it’ll stay in my collection for the long term.

Stick to baseball, 8/21/21.

Two new posts since the last roundup for subscribers to the Athletic – my list of the five farm systems that have improved the most since February; and a scouting blog from two weekends ago covering some Rays, O’s, Nats, and Tigers prospects. I’ve been unable to do much this past week due to an illness in the family, but hope to be back on the road this upcoming week.

On the board game front, I had three reviews go up earlier this month. At Paste, I reviewed the great new family game Juicy Fruits and the midweight game CloudAge. For Polygon, I reviewed the upcoming second edition of Great Western Trail, which is still the top-rated complex game on my overall rankings.

On of the Keith Law Show this week, I spoke to one of my favorite authors, Jasper Fforde, author of sixteen books, including The Constant Rabbit; and then had old pal Joe Sheehan as a guest this week.. And on The Athletic Baseball Show, I got the band back together with Eric Karabell. You can subscribe to my podcast on iTunes and Spotify.

My newsletter is getting back on track, although I didn’t send one this week since I didn’t write anything for any other sites beyond my own. You should sign up, though. Or you might consider buying my book, The Inside Game, now out in paperback.

And now, the links…

  • Longreads first: Ed Yong, whose coverage of the pandemic for The Atlantic (not my employer) won him a well-deserved Pulitzer Prize, writes about how the pandemic is now likely to end: with a long, tapering whimper, rather than a bang. And much of it is our own stupid fault.
  • A new journal article in Cell looks at all of the evidence on the origins of SARS-CoV-2, and concludes that a zoonotic origin is far more likely than a so-called “lab leak.”
  • ProPublica reveals just how much some high-income donors saved in taxes by helping fund the 2017 GOP Tax Bill. Sen. Ron Johnson (R-WI), a major science denialist, was particularly helpful to his wealthy supporters.
  • The Special Inspector General on Afghanistan Reconstruction has released their report, titled What We Need to Learn: Lessons from Twenty Years of Afghanistan Reconstruction. Setting aside the question of whether it goes as far as it needs to go, the report doesn’t shy away from blaming U.S. policymakers who believed we could build a nation, threw good money after bad, and had perhaps the most expensive case of the planning fallacy in history.
  • What can you do in the wake of last week’s apocalyptic report on the climate? Anything at all. Just do something.
  • A reader contribution: The Guardian profiles the woman who goes through NYC residents’ garbage and highlights their waste and profligacy on social media.
  • The Washington Post tells the awful story of a Missouri widow who lost her husband to COVID-19 and is now facing financial ruin.
  • I missed this in June, but a bill to legalize cannabis in Delaware failed over concerns that it wouldn’t create sufficient racial equity in the resulting system. Given how disproportionately cannabis laws have affected Black residents of Delaware (and all states), I think it’s worth crafting a bill that ensures they’ll share in the spoils of the new industry.
  • College officials are concerned about students showing fake vaccination cards rather than complying with vaccine mandates. The answer to that seems to be simple – use a fake card, get expelled, no refunds.
  • The Federation of State Medical Boards’ Board of Directors issued a statement that said that medical professionals who spread COVID-19 misinformation should lose their licenses. I’ll believe it when I see someone actually lose their license, but this is a good warning, at least.
  • A law professor writes that vaccine mandates are legal as well as based on solid science.
  • And that’s good, because the Nevada Board of Health just voted to require COVID-19 vaccines for college students in the state.
  • The anti-vaccine grift might be becoming untenable. The victims of cons are often unwilling to admit that they’ve been conned. A little help from law enforcement wouldn’t hurt, though.
  • Plenty of COVID deniers and minimizers like to claim that the virus has little effect on children (or did, pre-Delta). That’s highly misleading and takes advantage of a cognitive illusion called the contrast effect.
  • A spate of fabricated research papers hit certain academic journals this spring, and they were only caught because of certain “tortured phrases” (“colossal information” instead of “big data”) that caught other researchers’ eyes.
  • That Indiana doctor behind the viral video where he repeats anti-vaccine myths won’t even admit if he’s vaccinated and isn’t board-certified in any specialty. He should lose his license, though, because he’s full of shit.
  • Wilmington has a great little restaurant scene for such a small city, and for my money, Bardea is the best restaurant we’ve got. It’s improved even more since the pandemic began, as chef-owner Antonio DiMeo has been experimenting with koji and other fermentation techniques to boost flavors and create a more plant-forward menu.
  • The board game café chain Snakes & Lattes hired decorated chef Aaron McKay as COO as they try to establish the cafés as food destinations, not just board game spots where you get chicken tenders and soggy fries.
  • Chlorpyrifos, a pesticide that has long been linked to neurological damage in children, will finally be banned for use on food products after the Trump administration ignored scientists’ pleas to prohibit it.
  • This seems like it should be bigger news: A U.S. lab claims it has approached the goal of nuclear fusion ignition, using a laser to start a fusion reaction in hydrogen fuel that could become self-sustaining, providing enough heat to keep the fuel mass at a high enough temperature for fusion to continue. In theory, it’s a potential source of clean, limitless energy. It sounds too good to be true.
  • In a similar vein, did Google Labs really create “time crystals,” an entirely new phase of matter that would be a huge leap forward towards the goal of real quantum computing?
  • Board game news: Cranio Creations announced a new deluxe edition of the classic worker placement game Lorenzo il Magnifico.
  • Capstone announced pre-orders for Corrosion , a new game where your machines can rust and become useless, which I love as a concept and which also reminds me of a key plot point in Baldur’s Gate.
  • Publisher Tasty Minstrel Games (TMG) laid off its entire staff last week and appears to be entering bankruptcy.
  • I don’t remember the 2007 game Get Bit!, but it’s getting a brand-new edition, now on Kickstarter.
  • And finally, this was highly entertaining. What better way to mock a lunatic than by setting his deranged words to music? (There’s some great guitar work here, too.)

Abandon All Artichokes.

Abandon All Artichokes is a game as silly as its title, taking one tiny sliver of strategy from deckbuilders and making an entire game out of it: Get rid of your artichoke cards so that you become the first player to draw a fresh hand of five cards without any artichokes in it. It’s quick, and fun, and easy to learn for any player old enough to read the text on the other vegetable cards.

Each player in Abandon All Artichokes starts with ten cards, all of which are artichokes, and which are the only artichoke cards that you’ll use in the game. The main deck in the game comprises cards of other vegetables, each of which has an action associated with it. There’s a garden row of five cards that you refill after each player’s turn. On your turn, you must take one card from the garden row into your hand. You may then play as many cards from your hand as you’d like, using the actions printed on them, and then end your turn by discarding everything that’s left, artichokes and other. Then you draw a fresh hand of five cards, shuffling your discard pile into your deck if necessary, and play continues.

The main power to get rid of artichokes is composting. Four vegetables let you directly compost an artichoke card:

  • A carrot lets you compost two artichokes in your hand, but you can’t take another action that turn, and you compost the carrot too.
  • A broccoli lets you compost one artichoke if you have at least three in your hand.
  • An onion lets you compost one artichoke, but you then give the onion to an opponent by putting it on their discard pile.
  • An eggplant lets you compost one artichoke, and then players exchange two cards from their hands (of their choice).

There’s also the potato, which lets you draw the top card from your deck and compost it if it’s an artichoke; and the beet, for which you and an opponent each reveal a random card from your hands, and compost them if they’re both artichokes, exchanging them if they’re not.

The other vegetables don’t involve composting at all. Corn must be played with one artichoke, and it lets you take any card from the garden row and put it on top of your deck (so it will be in your hand on your next turn). A leek lets you reveal the top card of an opponent’s deck, after which you can take it or put it on their discard pile. A pepper lets you take a card from your discard pile and put it on top of your deck, which is nice for getting a strong card right back into your hand.

The key to success in Abandon All Artichokes is speed – these games go quickly, often faster than the 20 minute time shown on the box. You don’t have to get rid of all of your artichokes to win, although that doesn’t hurt; you just have to draw a hand of five cards without any artichokes in it. That could also involve composting a bunch of artichokes and also adding as many cards as you can do your deck so your odds of drawing five straight cards without an artichoke go up, but I haven’t seen anyone win that way, playing live or online. I think the slim deck strategy is the better one, not too far off from the Chapel strategy in the original Dominion, but it’s possible that with more players or the right vegetables you could pull off a “fat” deck strategy and win.

The box says it’s for ages 10+, but I would say that if your kid can read at a third-grade level they can probably play this game. There isn’t a lot of deep strategy here that would be beyond an 8-year-old’s reach, and the 20-minute playing time (if that) is great for all ages. It’s only about $13 everywhere I can find it, including at amazon, and even better comes in a small artichoke-shaped box. The ceiling on a game like this isn’t super high, but I love it as a family filler game.

The Old Devils.

Kingsley Amis’ Lucky Jim is one of my all-time favorite comic novels, incorporating humor low and high, with lots of the excessive alcohol consumption that would characterize much of Amis’ fiction (and non-fiction, and perhaps some of his own life). Thirty-two years after the publication of that book, his first, he won the Booker Prize for The Old Devils, which still has his voice and humor but is far less frivolous, as it covers a quartet of older Welshmen and their long-suffering wives as they face old age, mortality, and the disappointments of lives less than well-lived.

The author/poet Alun Weaver and his wife Rhiannon – oh, that’s just the beginning of the Welshness here – are returning to Wales after many years away, and their arrival has stirred up many old friendships, rivalries, and secret romances among their group of old friends, including Peter, Charlie, Percy, Malcolm, Gwen, Muriel, Sophie, Siân, and Angharad. Rhiannon and Peter were old flames; Alun appears to have slept with several of the others’ wives, and resumes doing so straight off the train; and there’s a tremendous amount of drink, interrupted by brief meditations on alcohol’s deleterious effects on health and waistline.

While there’s obvious humor to mine from scene after scene of men drinking themselves into various stages of stupor, often finishing at one pub only to have one of them suggest that they repair to another one, or to his apartment where there’s more strong drink to be had, the tone of The Old Devils is unmistakably darker. The sun is setting on these men in various ways, none more so than Alun, who gets an unwelcome sense of how slight his popularity is when there’s barely any media at all attending his arrival, and who finds himself constantly in the shadow of the poet Brydan (a stand-in for Welsh poet Dylan Thomas, whom Amis apparently disdained).

I rattled off those names to make a small point about Amis’s writing here. The men’s names are mostly bog-standard, recognizable then and now other than the ‘u’ in Alun’s name. The women, on the other hand, have the more traditionally Welsh names, none more so than Siân (pronounced a bit like “she-AHN”) or Angharad (“an-KHAR-ad,” although the kh sound is softer than in Hebrew or Russian). Men are ordinary creatures in this book, while women are inscrutable. There’s a clear difference in their depictions, and while none of the men other than Alun is easily distinguished from any other – Charlie is afraid of the dark, of all things, and that’s what counts as a character trait – the women are even more two-dimensional, if you could even call them that. Muriel is a bit of a shrew, and there’s a running gag about Angharad and whichever fellow is her husband, but the women especially blend together because by and large they are props, not characters.

The Old Devils works when Amis aims his eye at the men at the story’s heart as they contemplate where they’ve landed in life. Alun is hardly a sympathetic protagonist, but his own difficulty accepting that his literary legacy is less than he wished it to be – did Amis harbor the same doubts about his own? – is one of the most haunting threads in the book, even if we’re not sorry to see Alun get his ego dented a few times. Peter’s unhappy marriage to Muriel is compounded by his own financial dependence on her – he’s squandered years where he might have forged a career of his own, and now that she’s threatening to sell their house and leave him, he has an uncertain financial future and no real identity of his own. Each of these men has wasted a good part of his life, and they all seem to be approaching old age with the plan of drinking their way through It, until the inevitable happens to one of them and the rest have to deal with the aftermath.

I probably enjoyed the Welshiness of the novel more than anything, as my in-laws are both Welsh natives and I’ve been learning some of the language on Duolingo, enough to catch a number of the Welsh words Amis slipped into the dialogue. He taught for many years at Swansea University, on the south coast of Wales, and described his time there as some of his happiest years, which is probably why the novel seems so understanding of Welsh language and culture – this at a time when the language was still not taught in schools – and derogatory towards those who dismiss it as parochial, or just as a nuisance, as when road signs appear in Welsh to the confusion of the main characters. Even as Amis gives us drink as an inadequate escape from life’s sorrows, he can’t avoid showing some affection for the novel’s setting or background people, or, of course, for the drinks themselves. (Except Irish cream, which he properly treats as the treacle it is.) I can see why Amis won the Booker for this book, but I did miss the madcap humor that made Lucky Jim such a treat.

Stick to baseball, 8/8/21.

My one new post this week for subscribers to The Athletic is a long scouting notebook with my observations on players from the Nats, Rays, Orioles, and Tigers’ systems, including five former first-round picks. I also held a Klawchat on Thursday.

On The Keith Law Show this week, I spoke to Dr. Katy Milkman, author of the new book How to Change, about we can use psychology and knowledge of how our brains work to enact real, lasting behavior change in ourselves. You can subscribe via iTunes or Spotify. And on the Athletic Baseball Show, I got back together with my old Baseball Today partner in crime Eric Karabell (also on Spotify).

My email newsletter will return this week, and I’m going to give away a copy of a new board game (the publisher sent me two copies, so I offered to do a giveaway and they were on board, get it?) to one random subscriber.

And now, the links…