→ December 17, 2019
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Booksmart.

I wanted to like Booksmart, now streaming on Hulu, and the first twenty minutes were so promising … but I don’t think it lives up to its opening, and while there are some clever running gags and a few good quips, in the end it’s another teen movie that’s just a shade smarter than some of the films it rips off. (You can also rent it on amazon or iTunes.)

Molly (Beanie Feldstein) and Amy (Kaitlyn Dever) are best friends and massive overachievers who’ve spent their high school years studying and doing all the things you’re supposed to do to get into a good college, but never doing anything fun, only to discover that a bunch of their classmates who have partied their way through high school have also gotten into elite schools. Molly’s the Class President and has a crush on her Vice-President, Nick, who appears to be a dimwit but, of course, isn’t. Amy has been out for two years, but has never kissed a girl, and has a crush on a classmate, Ryan, although she doesn’t know if Ryan is into girls. The night before graduation, they decide to go to a huge party at Nick’s aunt’s house, and spend about the half the movie trying to figure out where the party is and then trying to get there. Once they do arrive, they go after their respective crushes, only to have things not go as planned (obviously) and then something else works out for each of them instead.

There’s a lot of promise in this premise, and the two leads are both quite good. Feldstein is wonderfully annoying throughout the movie, and handles the transitions well from earnest to flailing to, at one point, shockingly rude to her closest friend in a way that makes the character feel entirely coherent and three-dimensional. Dever has somewhat less to do until they get to the party, and even then plays an unfortunate second fiddle to Feldstein until she has her unexpected tryst and can be the main character on the screen without her co-star. Billie Lourd is hilarious as Gigi, a prominent side character with the best running joke in the film, and some of the other kids are effective in narrow roles, although half of the actors are in their mid-20s already and look it. There are a couple of gay kids in their class played by Noah Galvin and Austin Crute who play both their characters as if they’re acting in a play within the movie, and most of their scenes are well-written and funny in an absurd way. (I’d watch a movie that starred just those two.) In fact, just about all of the actors playing the students are good at what they’re asked to do – in contrast to the adults in the movie, most of whom look out of place or uncomfortable, and all of whom are poorly written.

The story is nothing you haven’t seen before, unfortunately. A couple of kids want to have fun/drink too much/get laid before they go to college, and have a hard time doing any of these things correctly at first, only to get to the big party and have things go wrong before they go right. There’s some witty banter early in the film, but the script can’t keep up the pace, and things start getting progressively weirder as the film progresses. Their principal (Jason Sudeikis) moonlights as an Uber driver, and the situation gets kind of creepy. Another of their teachers has serious boundary problems, leading to a seriously cringey movement at the party. Amy’s big moment is sort of marred by a bad writing decision at the end of the scene that was unnecessary. One of the girls ends up in jail – seriously, the entire plot is ripped from Can’t Hardly Wait, which isn’t a good enough movie to rip off in the first place – and the way they get her out is a ridiculous plot contrivance. And how are they totally unable to figure out where Nick’s aunt lives in an era where most addresses are listed online and everyone has the internet on their phones? Oh, in the span of a few seconds one of the girls loses her phone and the other’s runs out of charge, because of course it does. These characters deserved a smarter story, right up to the resolution.

It was just too easy a movie to pick apart. Very little of it seemed realistic, and the script couldn’t maintain all the energy from the first few scenes – especially the one scene in a classroom, where the one-liners are flying back and forth and the kids all show their most interesting sides. This movie took in around $22 million at the box office, beating its budget comfortably but spurring a weird social media campaign, led by director Olivia Wilde, that made it seem like the movie was a flop. The better explanation is that the movie didn’t find a big audience because the script wasn’t good enough. Feldstein and Dever did their parts, but this is a forgettable entry in the sad tradition of mediocre teen comedies.

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→ December 16, 2019
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Yellow & Yangtze app.

Yellow & Yangtze is Reiner Knizia’s update to his all-time classic Tigris & Euphrates, which still sits in the top 100 on Boardgamegeek and pioneered the “highest/lowest score” mechanic, where you score in multiple categories, and your lowest score is the one that’s compared to your opponents’. Both are abstract games of area control that are well-balanced so that it rewards strategy but also has mechanisms for preventing runaway winners or leaving someone totally in the dust. Dire Wolf Digital just released an app version of Y&Y that I think is incredibly strong, including quality AI players (on the hard setting), great graphics, and intuitive game-play, and it’s kind of selling me on picking up the original game at some point too.

Yellow & Yangtze makes several major tweaks to the rules of T&E, using hex tiles instead of squares, introducing a fifth color of tiles that you can use like a wild color, needing three tiles rather than four to build a pagoda, and giving each of the other four colors of tiles a unique power. You get six tiles at a time in your hand, plus a ‘leader’ in each color. On a turn, you get two actions, most of which will involve placing two leaders or tiles on the board. You must place a leader next to a black tile. When you then place a tile of the same color as a leader in the same cluster of tiles, you get one point in that color. If you make a triangle of three hex tiles of the same color, it becomes a pagoda, and then gives one point per round to the player whose leader of that color is in the same cluster. Each cluster can only have one leader in each color, but it can have leaders from different players.

The conflicts between players are similar to the original. If two kingdoms (the game’s name for clusters) are connected, there’s a war, and it’s settled by players with leaders in each kingdom contributing red tiles from their hands. If you place your leader into a kingdom that already has a leader of that color, it’s settled by both players contributing black tiles. When you place a green tile, you get to choose your replacement from the display of six tiles; otherwise, you get new tiles after your entire turn, and they’re random. When you place a blue tile, which may only go on a river or shoreline space, you can continue to place more blue tiles for free as long as they’re all adjacent. If you have blue tiles, you can also destroy any tile on the board in a “peasants’ riot;” you blow up a black tile with this and then any leaders adjacent to it are also removed if they aren’t still adjacent to another black tile. Yellow tiles are wild; you get points in the yellow category, but at game-end, those points are distributed to your other four scores to always raise your lowest score.

The app is just great. It looks fantastic, with very bright, clear colors, so that there is no confusion between tiles or about what’s been placed where. The screen shows you your tiles and as much or as little of the board as you want, with smaller indicators for which opponents still have their leaders in hand (five dots under each opponent’s name, with unplaced ones lit up) and what six tiles are on display for players who place green tiles (a ring on the lower right). Your scores are in the lower left – you can’t see opponents’ scores – and if you have an active pagoda that score has a flickering flame behind it, which makes it much easier to track. The easy AI is just tutorial level, the medium is just modestly challenging, but I have a hard time beating the hard AI when I play against two of them. The hard AI loves to use that peasants’ riot feature, which is probably good strategy but feels extremely personal.

The app is $9.99 right now, on the high end for board game adaptations, although with the cardboard game over $40 it’s good value for the game play provided. Dire Wolf Digital does great work, with this their second outstanding app release of 2019 (along with Raiders of the North Sea) and their Lanterns another favorite of mine for its animations; you can add Y&Y to the list, as I think it checks every box for an app, with challenging game play, great graphics, and high ease of use.

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→ December 14, 2019
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Stick to baseball, 12/14/19.

I was busy these last two weeks, with numerous reaction pieces for ESPN+ subscribers.

I also held a Klawchat, probably my last of 2019, on Friday.

Over at Paste, I reviewed the new small-box game Ankh’or, which plays up to four but works nicely with two, and wrote up the best games I saw in two days at PAX Unplugged (before my daughter got sick and we had to skip day three #sadface).

My second book, The Inside Game: Bad Calls, Strange Moves, and What Baseball Behavior Teaches Us About Ourselves, comes out on April 21st, 2020. You can pre-order it here, and I have tentative appearances for that week at Politics & Prose (DC), Midtown Scholar (Harrisburg), and One More Page (Arlington, VA).

My free email newsletter will return in the next few days – sorry, I got sick, then the winter meetings happened – and you can sign up here.

And now, the links…

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→ December 13, 2019
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Top 100 songs of 2019.

I feel like this was a down year; I haven’t had this hard of a time filling out a top 100 songs list in any of the seven years where I’ve done one. That means there are a lot of artists on here 2-3 times, and I believe a record number of covers for one of my lists. If you can’t see the playlist below, you can access it here.

100. Hatchie – Stay with Me. Hatchie put three songs on list this year, all from her debut album Keepsake, which shows off her ability to cook up sweet melodies that work with her slight vocal range, recalling ’90s alternative acts like the Cranberries and the Cardigans.

99. Floating Points – Anasickmodular. Just the right amount of Floatin Points’ intellectual spin on EDM, especially given the fast-moving, shifting drum machine on this track.

98. Danny Brown – Best Life. This track, produced by Q-Tip, was the star of the veteran rapper Brown’s latest album, uknowhatimsayin¿, which made best-of-the-year lists from Billboard, Paste, and Pitchfork.

97. Supergrass – Next to You. I have a few covers on the top 100 this year, which is unusual but I think reflects that this was a down year overall for new music. Supergrass is an old favorite of mine, and this cover of a modest hit from the Police marked the release of Supergrass’ boxed set this summer.

96. Of Monsters and Men – Róróró. One of two memorable tracks from the Icelandic group’s rather disappointing third album, Fever Dream, and the one that best showcases lead singer Nanna’s voice.

95. Port Noir – Champagne. I don’t know what “the black soul choir” is, but I kind of like the potential double meaning there in this track from a Swedish hard-rock trio who’ve worked with a number of producers from the area’s extreme metal scene.

94. Dry Cleaning – Magic of Meghan. You’ll either love the repeated guitar line in this song or it will annoy you; I’m obviously in the former camp. It’s too bad nothing else on Dry Cleaning’s debut EP sounded like this.

93. Ride – Repetition. Ride aren’t so much shoegaze any more, but indie rock, and almost positive in their vibe. I wonder if they look at the audience when they perform now.

92. Longwave – If We Ever Live Forever. The title track from their comeback album, their first in eleven years, is a great bit of jangly indie-rock driven by some mournful guitar lines below a Ben Gibbard-esque vocal.

91. Rina Sawayama – STFU! The song is good, but the video elevates this to another level. The song is very NSFW, by the way.

90. LIFE – Hollow Thing. I enjoy their sneering modern twist on classic punk, although the hooks aren’t always there on their debut album A Picture of Good Health. This song shows they have the ear for it, so I’m hopeful we’ll get more tracks like this in their future. I look so good in black, I always do.

89. Temples – Hot Motion. The title track and opener from Temples’ latest album grabs you right from the start with that swirling five-note guitar riff, following by the gait of a shambling drum line, a great way to bring you into one of my favorite albums of the year.

88. White Lies – Tokyo. Dark synthpop, not quite up to their best track, “There Goes Our Love Again,” but still strong and the best song from Five V2.

87. The Raconteurs – Help Me Stranger. Jack White at his best: strong melody, pronounced guitarwork, a solid beat, tight from start to finish. The rest of the album was very meh, though.

86. Band of Skulls – Gold. I was disappointed by Love Is All You Love but this track is what I imagine their retro guitar aesthetic would sound like if Mark Ronson produced them.

85. White Reaper – Might Be Right. The soi-disant world’s greatest American band know just what they’re about: their third album, You Deserve Love, runs 10 songs … and 29 minutes. Power-pop jewels like this one – the second-longest track on the record – can wear out their welcome if they go too long, but this album is an exemplar of its familiar genre.

84. Pharlee – Darkest Hour. A new band from the ashes of several other San Diego-area outfits, Pharlee – sort of named after Chris Farley – features the snarling vocals of Macarena Rivera and some driving guitar work that reminds me on this track of Golden Earring’s “Radar Love.”

83. Flying Lotus featuring Anderson .Paak – More. I’ve never been a huge Flying Lotus fan, but this song’s abrupt shifts also give us some of Anderson .Paak’s best work yet for a genre-defying track that alternates between jazziness and a danceable groove.

82. black midi – Reggae. These British experimentalists had my #3 album of the year in Schlagenheim, but it doesn’t lend itself to singles – my favorite track from them in 2019 wasn’t actually on the album. This is probably the most accessible song that is on the LP, and gives you some sense of their avant-garde, inverted take on rock; it’s challenging but doesn’t push the boundary into abrasiveness like some of the album does.

81. Jade Bird – Lottery. My second-favorite track from the Welsh singer-songwriter’s self-titled debut album, after “Love Has All Been Done Before,” my #4 song of 2019. This track also showcases her Janis Joplin-esque vocals and has a solid hook in the chorus; the album was kind of uneven, without enough compelling hooks for that many songs.

80. Ten Fé – Won’t Happen. These soft-rock savants seem to effortlessly churn out radio-friendly pop tracks that would have been hits in a different era; their second album in two years, Future Perfect, Present Tense, is full of tracks like this one, melodic and well-rounded without cloying.

79. Fontaines D.C. – Too Real. I’m not in on Fontaines like most critics seem to be; there’s something about the vocals on their tracks that ring false to me and I can’t quite put my finger on why. It’s as if they’re trying so hard to sound like vintage punk, but the music is two generations too late. Of all of their songs I’ve heard, this one seems the most coherent, or at least has the least discord between the music and vocals, and I think the guitar work here would stand with some of the better stuff from …And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead.

78. Lightning Born – Renegade. Two and a half minutes is just about right for this little slice of New Wave of British Heavy Metal-infused rock, with Corrosion of Conformity bassist Mike Dean among the new band’s members.

77. Metronomy – Salted Caramel Ice Cream. Yeah, it’s kind of twee, but it’s really catchy, and I happen to love this flavor.

76. Ceremony – Further I Was. Get used to seeing post-punk revivalists Ceremony on this list, since my #1 album of the year put three tracks on the top 100 and could have put a fourth with “Say Goodbye to Them” or even “Years of Love.”

75. BONES UK – Pretty Waste. This might be the first time I have ever discovered and liked a new song because of a Grammy nomination, but that’s how I first heard about BONES UK, a trio now based in L.A. that earned a nod for Best Rock Performance for this hard-edged electronic/rock track that seems to descend every time it moves from verse to chorus.

74. Crows – Wednesday’s Child. The most accessible song from Crows’ solid, heavy debut album of post-hardcore, “Wednesday’s Child” reminds me tonally of Drenge, but with a wall-of-sound effect from multiple guitars and heavier distortion.

73. Big Thief – UFOF. Every critic seems to love this album, but it did almost nothing for me – it’s aggressively boring, a callback to the stillborn quietcore movement that nobody really wanted to revisit in the first place. The title track was the one song that stood out to me for an actual melody, something you could grab on to aurally that might bring you back to the song for another listen.

72. FKA Twigs – cellophane. The first single from MAGDALENE, released seven months in advance of the album, is mostly just her voice, often in falsetto, and the ghost of a piano, with electronic elements only appearing in the last third of the song, and barely at that. Her maturation as a singer and songwriter was first evident on the 2016 one-off single “Good to Love,” and this song made it clear how much she’d grown since her first record.

71. Holly Herndon – Frontier. Herndon’s third album PROTO includes a choral ensemble and the inputs of Spawn, a “nascent” AI trained via vocal tracks, a process audible on other songs on the record like “Canaan.” “Frontier” is a more finished product, Herndon’s (and Spawn’s) take on Appalachian Sacred Harp music, with the result sounding simultaneously futuristic and decidedly old.

70. Wye Oak – Fortune. Hoping this is a harbinger of another new album from the indie duo, both in timing and in sound, as this seems to sit between Civilian and The Louder I Call, The Faster It Runs.

69. Hatchie – Without a Blush. We can quibble over genres, but this is a pop song, and I’m good with that. It’s bright and shimmering and that opener gets stuck in my head for days whenever I hear it.

68. Mourn – Jumping Someone Else’s Train. This Catalonian trio – it looks like they lost a member somewhere after their last album – deserves a wider audience for their raw, garage-tinged sound, but label problems held them back before their 2018 album Sorpresa Familia was released. They put out a four-song EP of covers this year, headlined by this cover of a Cure track, along with covers of songs by Come, dEUS, and Chris Bell.

67. Lower Dens – Hand of God. My favorite track from Lower Dens’ fourth album, The Competition, is almost … sunny? Bright? It’s still indie-pop with a heavy synth element, but there’s something undeniably upbeat here that isn’t present in a lot of their music.

66. Here Lies Man – Long Legs. HLM’s weird blend of stoner rock, world music, and jazz influences coes together very nicely on this heavy yet grooving track that really doesn’t miss the vocals it lacks.

65. Phantom Planet – BALISONG. Phantom Planet’s first new music in eleven years turned out to be a little pop gem with an earworm of a vocal, even though the song is about a butterfly knife (also called a balisong). They released a second single this year, “Party Animal,” that was forgettable, but there’s apparently a new album in the works.

64. The Ninth Wave – First Encounters. This Scottish post-punk band, which I presume took its name from the Russian painting by that title, followed the same playbook as Foals in 2019, releasing one album in two parts, although Infancy is shorter in total, running just 45 minutes across all 12 songs. This dark, gothic song seems to blend early new wave with the gloomy style of fellow Scots The Twilight Sad.

63. Inhaler – My Honest Face. That’s Bono’s son Elijah Hewson, if any of this sounded a bit familiar, and while the comparisons to Boy and October are kind of obvious, there’s enough contemporary indie to Inhaler’s sound that we shouldn’t dismiss them as a novelty or some sort of nepotism act. They’ve released a few singles so far, with this easily the best and most complete-sounding one to date.

62. Little Simz – Offence. Little Simz, just 25 years old, already has three albums under her belt, with 2019’s Grey Area earning her a Mercury Prize nomination. The London-born rapper has great vocal flow, both fast and precise, although the choices of backing music aren’t always ideal for her style; standout tracks include this one, “Selfish,” and “Pressure,” but to my surprise I didn’t care for her collaboration with Michael Kiwanuka on “Flowers.”

61. Hot Chip – Hungry Child. The longtime electronic stalwarts titled their latest album A Bath Full of Ecstasy, because why not. They may never reach the high of 2006’s “Over and Over” again, but they’re good for one or two plus songs per album, with this one and “No God” the standouts on this record.

60. The New Pornographers – The Surprise Knock. I think I take The New Pornographers for granted; even when an album isn’t the next Twin Cinema or Brill Bruisers, it still has a few subtle pop gems like this one, from their latest record, In the Morse Code of Brake Lights. I also liked “Colossus of Rhodes” and “One Kind of Solomon,” although on the whole I think it’s not one of their stronger albums.

59. Michael Kiwanuka – Hero. The first of three tracks from KIWANUKA, my #2 album of 2019, on this list, “Hero” is a great single in its own right, with two memorable guitar tracks and Kiwanuka’s use of an extra pause in the verses to give the song more tension.

58. High on Fire – Bat Salad. Turns out High on Fire is even better without Matt Pike yelling at us for an entire song.

57. YONAKA – Don’t Wait Till Tomorrow. The title track from YONAKA’s debut album revolves, as most of the album does, around Theresa Jarvis’ smoky, charismatic vocals, here boosted by marching drums and arpeggiated chords that add urgency despite a slower tempo.

56. Working Men’s Club – Bad Blood. A new indie act from the UK that the Guardian compared to The Fall and even Soft Cell, Working Men’s Club debut single reminded me more of Olivia Tremor Control and other Elephant 6 acts, although they’ve gone more synth-heavy with subsequent releases.

55. James BKS featuring Q-Tip, Idris Elba, & Little Simz – New Breed. Tough to argue with that guest lineup – I’m a sucker for any track where Q-Tip drops rhymes – and it’s a big sonic shift from James BKS’s previous songs “Kwele” and “MaWakanda.” He’s one to watch, and has Elba, who signed BKS to his record label, to boost his profile too.

54. Maisie Peters – Look at Me Now. The 19-year-old Peters, who first came to prominence when she posted her own songs to Youtube, released her second EP this year, the amusingly titled It’s Your Bed Babe, It’s Your Funeral, with more clever songs of teen angst and failed relationships, highlighted by this track and “This Is On You.”

53. Grimes & i_o – Violence. I’ve had mixed feelings on the singles leading up to Grimes’ newest album, Miss Anthropocene, due out in February, but perhaps it’ll work better as a whole. This is my favorite of the three singles, certainly the most coherent. Did you know Claire Boucher now goes by c, referring to the scientific term for the speed of light? Yeah, that’s … weird. Only Prince gets away with that shit.

52. Lauren Ruth Ward & Desi Valentine – Same Soul. Two great voices that sound great together. LRW seems to put out a new song every few weeks, while Valentine just released his debut album – the brief, 8-song Shades of Love, this week.

51. Dinosaur Pile-Up – Thrash Metal Cassette. Don’t act like you didn’t have one.

50. Broken Social Scene – Can’t Find My Heart. The other Canadian rock supergroup, Broken Social Scene put out two albums in the spring, Let’s Try the After, Volumes 1 and 2, with this track the best from either record (it’s on the second one).

49. Benjamin Gibbard – Keep Yourself Warm. The best thing Gibbard did this year was this cover for Tiny Changes: A Celebration of Frightened Rabbit’s ‘Midnight Organ Fight’, a project finished before Frightened Rabbit singer Scott Hutchison’s suicide that now stands as a tribute to his memory. This song wrecks me and Gibbard’s voice is the perfect tone for it.

48. Bat for Lashes – Jasmine. One of two tracks from Natasha Khan’s latest album, Lost Girls, on my list. The other is more soaring, while this one sounds like a pop hit from an alternate universe.

47. Just Mustard – Seven. These Irish shoegazers bring the dark guitar sounds of the first shoegaze era but with audible vocals from Katie Ball and sparser production that makes the wall-of-sound style even more foreboding.

46. Ride – Future Love. Speaking of the first wave of shoegaze, Ride has reinvented itself as a more mainstream act after their nearly 20-year hiatus; this lead single from the second album into their return, This is Not a Safe Place, is practically a pop song, and I mean that as a compliment.

45. Joy Williams – When Creation Was Young. The second song, and second-best track, from Williams’ second post-Civil Wars album, Front Porch, is this folk/bluegrass track that showcases her incredible voice in a simple song about timeless love.

44. BROCKHAMPTON – Boy Bye. The best track off their uneven album Ginger manages to squeeze in verses by three different rappers in a fast-moving song that runs just 142 seconds.

43. Artificial Pleasure – Boys Grow Up. If you haven’t figured out that I’m a sucker for any bands that harken back to the formative years of my music fandom by now, I can’t help you. There’s Heaven 17 in here, maybe a little less Spandau Ballet than some of the tracks off The Bitter End, and I always feel like they’re one female vocalist away from the Human League, and I’m here for it.

42. Sleater-Kinney – Hurry on Home. I might be in the minority on this, but I think Sleater-Kinney’s latest album, The Center Won’t Hold, is their worst, and I believe it’s entirely because St. Vincent produced it and turned them away from their post-punk/riot grrl roots. This song was the most authentic Sleater-Kinney track on the album. They were great live, at least.

41. Cœur de Pirate – Ne m’appelle pas. As in, “Don’t call me.” I love Béatrice Martin’s voice, and she has a somewhat European twist on alternative pop (yes, she’s Quebecois); she’d said she planned to stop using the Cœur de Pirate moniker but then released two one-off singles under the name this year.

40. King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard – Boogieman Sam. KG&tLW released two albums this year, in totally distinct rock subgenres; the first of the two, Fishing for Fishies, was more blues-rock, while the latter, Infest the Rats’ Nest, is aggressively metal. This track was their best this year and comes from the former album, very blues/jam-band-esque but in a digestible length.

39. Foals – On the Luna. The first single from the first of the two albums Foals released this year has a driving urgency to it between the two-note keyboard riff and the thumping bass line. Between the two records, Foals probably produced one really outstanding album of solid rock tunes that bring energy and strong riffs with a few songs left over.

38. Jake Bugg – Kiss Like the Sun. I’ve been waiting for Jake Bugg to turn the tempo up since “What Doesn’t Kill You” dropped in 2013, and this is the track I wanted, with Bugg’s Dylanesque vocals and guitar sounds, but with some energy this time around.

37. TVAM – No Silver Bird. TVAM released this as a single for Record Store Day in April, and I had no idea it was a cover until I put it on a playlist in September (when it first appeared on Spotify) and tried to read about the song. The original is from 1968, by a little-known band called the Hooterville Trolley that released just a couple of singles. TVAM’s cover is far better produced, of course, but surprisingly true to the original’s psycheledic-rock vibe.

36. The Amazons – End of Wonder. Another enormous guitar riff from the Amazons, who seem to know exactly what kind of song gets my heart rate up. This makes me want to get behind the wheel and hit the gas.

35. Night Dreamer – Another Life. Smashing Pumpkins guitarist Jeff Schroeder and Wam Dingis keyboardist Mindy Song collaborated to form Night Dreamer, releasing this broody, mesmerizing single back in the summer ahead of their October EP release.

34. Sunflower Bean – King of the Dudes. The title track from their four-song EP, released in January, is a bit more of the usual from Sunflower Bean, who I think really polished up their sound on their early 2018 album Twentytwo in Blue.

33. Charly Bliss – Young Enough. The title track from their second full-length album is the longest on the record, and I don’t think it really needs to be five-plus minutes, but it’s clearly the best song on the album, with easily its best hook and the strongest showcase for singer/guitarist Eva Hendricks’ smoky, dewy-eyed vocals, which come off as cloying elsewhere on the record.

32. The Mysterines – Gasoline. Three chords and a healthy dose of rage from singer/guitarist Lia Medcalf. “I just love to hate you” feels like a rallying cry for the next generation of riot grrls.

31. Ten Fé – Coasting. If this were 1978, this song would spend three months in the top 10 on the Billboard Hot 100. Soft-rock is out of vogue, almost permanently, yet here’s Ten Fé unapologetically exhuming the genre and producing songs that rank up against the best from its heyday. This was the best track from their sophomore album Future Perfect, Present Tense, thanks to that little synth line out of the chorus.

30. WOOZE – I’ll Have What She’s Having. WOOZE is the new iteration of a band that was briefly called Movie, then changed their name to Screaming Peaches, that had a pair of songs in 2014 that I quite liked in “Mr. Fist” and “Ads,” both catchy, overtly poppy, and lyrically silly. This song is all of those things with a bit darker edge to the music and vocals, which I think helps offset how sugary the pop aspects are. The resulting balance is just fun, like pop music should be.

29. Of Monsters & Men – Alligator. The Icelandic quintet’s third album Fever Dream proved maddening in its sonic and melodic inconsistencies, as the band’s sound continues to evolve but without any clear direction (although you could argue that’s how evolution works). This lead single is by far the album’s best track, though, one of maybe three songs on the record where they manage to do something a little different musically while still producing a good hook.

28. White Reaper – Real Long Time. White Reaper aren’t breaking the mold, but what they do, a sort of hard-rock-edged version of pop, they do extremely well. The guitar lines that open this song are reminiscent enough of Thin Lizzy that Phil Lynott’s ghost might as well be hanging out in their attic Duke Ellington-style.

27. Potty Mouth – 22. I loved this all-female trio’s 2015 song “Cherry Picking,” but they got caught up in some label nonsense that delayed their second album, Snafu, till this past spring. It’s full of power-pop tracks led by this extremely catchy number (pun intended).

26. Foals – The Runner. Foals decided to rock out this year, with two albums, or one double album released in two parts, heavy on the crunch. This came from Everything Not Saved Will Be Lost Part 2, the heavier of the two records, more guitar-forward and muscular throughout the album.

25. Good Fuck – Flow Flow. Not sure why bands give themselves deliberately difficult names like this, but I can’t deny the hypnotic, sinister sound of this song, from the fuzzed-out guitars to the tritones behind some of the verses to the random shit that pops into the background of the song. I feel like there should be some dark ritual happening behind me whenever this song comes on.

24. Two Door Cinema Club – Once. This is the best thing 2DCC has ever done, easily, thanks to an exuberant chorus with double-time drumwork and cascading keyboards.

23. Tame Impala – Borderline. One of two singles released from Tame Impala’s delayed fourth album The Slow Rush, this track is surprisingly understated and almost poppy for Kevin Parker, but still has the kind of layered, reverb-flush production you’d expect from him. There’s a little chord change in each line in the verse, I think from major to minor, that works every single time because your mind expects something different.

22. Floating Points – LesAlpx. Electronica generally doesn’t do much for me, but neuroscientist Sam Shepherd, who records as Floating Points, manages to create instrumental EDM that is also melodically compelling. This was my favorite track from his 2019 album Crush.

21. Michael Kiwanuka – You Ain’t the Problem. This song opens Kiwanuka with hand-drummed sounds and the chatter of families dancing and talking outside, but right at the 30-second mark it slams you back a half-century into what sounds like peak Motown, a perfect introduction to an album that will span generations and genres while delivering great single after single. The off-beat vocal lines – he starts most lines in the verses on the second beat – help keep you a little unsteady as well.

20. The Amazons – Mother. It’s a slow build, but when the guitar hits, it comes like a dam bursting, which is the sound the Amazons have done well since “Black Magic.”

19. whenyoung – A Labour of Love. This song showcases vocalist Aoife Power’s voice as well as anything on their debut album Reasons to Dream when it gets to that memorable chorus line, “You build me back up, now I see it, a labour of love,” which sounds far better with her Irish accent.

18. Jorja Smith featuring Burna Boy – Be Honest. Smith’s debut album, Lost & Found, was on my top albums of 2018 post, mostly because of the power of her voice, which is very much on display again here in this one-off single that includes the Nigerian singer/songwriter Burna Boy contributing a dancehall verse.

17. YONAKA – Rockstar. YONAKA’s album Don’t Wait Till Tomorrow tackles some serious subject matter in its lyrics, but this ode to pipe dreams and being, what else, a rock star, just works because of Theresa Jarvis’ wide-ranging vocal styles.

16. Opeth – Heart in Hand. The album did nothing for me, but this song … right into my veins, please. Ornate, brilliant guitar work, a throwback power chord riff beneath it, multiple movements, and vocals that aren’t just clean but add to the symphonic character of the song. Fans will debate whether Opeth could still be called metal, or if they just peaked with Blackwater Park and have gone down ever since, but if they give me one of these songs every album I’ll be quite happy.

15. Hatchie – Obsessed. Hatchie has quite the knack for creating smart pop gems, with this the best song off her debut album, Keepsake. I wish her voice had more depth or character to it, but she can spin a melody and seems able to draw on influences from any of the last four decades of pop/alternative.

14. FKA Twigs – sad day. Such a mournful, beautiful song, with thoughtful and quotable lyrics (“would you make a, make wish on my love” repeats in my head every time I listen to this song), with her vocals interspersed by trip-hop elements that break up the dolorous mood of the verses.

13. black midi – Talking Heads. I’m not sure why these British avant garde rockers, barely out of high school, didn’t include this single on their debut album Schlagenheim, but I think it’s the best and most accessible thing they’ve done, which also lets you understand a little bit about their sound – which I can only describe as rock that sounds like it’s been turned inside out, or perhaps reflected through the x- and y-axes – before diving into the longer and often obtuse tracks from their album.

12. Ceremony – In the Spirit World Now. Thetitle track from the modern new wave/post-punk band’s new album veers more towards the former of those two subgenres, with a synth track so retro it comes with mascara and a pastel blazer.

11. The Struts – Pegasus Saiya. This song, from the soundtrack to an anime series called Saint Saiya, is so unabashedly bombastic, like glam metal without the hairspray, with an incredible hook, that I liked it in spite of its overt homage to music that is thirty years out of date.

10. Jehnny Beth & Johnny Hostile – Let It Out. This song from the soundtrack to the documentary Xy Chelsea (about Chelsea Manning) features the lead singer of Savages and her partner and Savages’ producer; they’ve previously released two albums as John and Jehn but recorded this ambient, spacey track under their individual stage names.

9. Sundara Karma – Little Smart Houses. This song came out in February, and ten months later, it will still pop into my head at the most random times, especially the chorus that seems to spill over its boundaries with each line.

8. CHVRCHES – Death Stranding. I’ll take this over anything from CHVRCHES’ last and very disappointing album; I may be thinking wishfully, but it seems like Lauren Mayberry may be ready to go out on her own, and if this is the last single we get from CHVRCHES they’re going out on a high note, a song that wouldn’t be out of place on The Bones of What You Believe were it not for the higher production values.

7. whenyoung – The Others. An Irish trio fronted by the wonderfully-named Aoife Power, they’ll never escape comparisons to the Cranberries, but their sound is grungier and sharper around the edges, so much the better for when Power dials up her voice to the top end of her range as she does on the chorus here.

6. Bat for Lashes – Desert Man. Lost Girls was one of the albums that I considered for my top LPs of the year list, if I’d kept going past 15, and this is the standout track, the best thing she’s recorded since “Laura” way back in 2012, this time powered by her voice but backed by more than just a piano to give the song more texture. She does melancholy melodies as well as anybody right now.

5. Oh Wonder – Hallelujah. Thefirst 20 seconds are a bit precious, but stay with it because the build to the first real chorus pays off beautifully with the multilayered vocals and the drum machine behind it.

4. Temples – Holy Horses. God I love this guitar riff. The entire song is a bit ridiculous – holy horses? – but that swirling guitar line is my favorite of the year, and these psychedelic-rockers have the good sense to get out after three minutes before the riff wears out its welcome.

3. Ceremony – Turn Away the Bad Thing. The opener to my #1 album of the year, In the Spirit World Now, starts out with a driving bass line that demands that you sit up and pay attention while pulling you back to the late ’70s heyday of post-punk, only to envelop you fully the moment Ross Farrar’s voice drops in.

2. FKA Twigs featuring Future – Holy Terrain. I was way out on FKA Twigs’ first album, which I found full of trying-too-hard tracks that didn’t do enough to show off her tremendous voice, but her follow-up, MAGDALENE, really does so while featuring smarter lyrics and without sacrificing the trip-hop leanings she favored on the first record. I don’t know that Future adds a ton to this track, since it’s her vocals that carry the day, and the production of his one verse distorts his voice anyway.

1. Michael Kiwanuka – Rolling. Buoyed by a simple yet intoxicating two-part guitar riff, “Rolling” has an incredible, bouncing energy to it, with highly textured percussion, a wandering bass line to anchor it, and Kiwanuka never sounding more like Jimi Hendrix with more vocal depth. This is the song that hooked me on this album, KIWANUKA, my #2 LP of the year, a record that everyone should listen to regardless of your preferred genres of music because it crosses so many boundaries between them. Just let this track roll right into “I’ve Been Dazed,” as there’s no real transition and the two songs work well as a whole.

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→ December 13, 2019
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Klawchat 12/13/19.

My latest ESPN+ post covers a few stray transactions from the winter meetings, including the Nomar Mazara trade and the Tanner Roark signing, and my latest Paste column reviews the new games I saw at PAX Unplugged.

Keith Law: Klawchat. When you gonna ring it?

Moe Mentum: Any predictions on where Odubel Herrera will be when spring training starts – or ends?
Keith Law: Not with the Phillies. I wonder if some awful team – the Tigers, the Orioles – will decide he’s worth the backlash, because he has ability and they’d probably just be able to take him off the Phils’ hands for nothing. (I wouldn’t do so, but I’m saying someone probably will.)

JK: What changed from last year to this year to spur so much more activity at Winter Meetings?
Keith Law: I don’t quite know, but I’m thrilled. The Yankees getting in heavy helped, as did the Nats winning the World Series and making a serious, immediate push to retain one of their two big FA. Mike Rizzo doesn’t hesitate when he wants a player – he signed Corbin early last year, and signed Jayson Werth once upon a time while I was between the airport and the winter meetings on day one (or zero). He also probably gave this a nudge.

Delco Debo: Based on the Cole & Rendon contracts, is it fair to say that Harper & Machado deals do not age terribly & neither team should feel buyer’s remorse (contrary to what local Philly sports radio might be spewing)? Phillies & Padres both get longer tail of players primes.
Keith Law: Neither team should have any regrets about those contracts. Sports radio takes shouldn’t dictate what anyone thinks about sports.

Josh L from Garnet Valley: In the event you’ve read, would you recommend Dune?
Keith Law: The first book is wonderful. Everything that comes after it is trash.

Tony: It feels like the Phillies are throwing away so much value by constantly moving Kingery around defensively, and now with the Gregorious signing, there’s talk he’ll be playing third instead of second. Why won’t they just put him at second and let him excel?
Keith Law: That’s also what I would do, but Segura has never played 3b anywhere in pro ball. They needed a shortstop, so they got one, and now they have two second basemen and no current third baseman. If Segura can play third, problem solved. If not, they may put Kingery at third, where his arm doesn’t play, and now we have a new problem.

Josh L from Garnet Valley: What are your favorite modern christmas songs? Feel like the Pogues Fairytale of NY is criminally underrated
Keith Law: I just heard that one for the first time the other day, as it turns out. I still say Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas” is the best new Christmas song of the last ~40 years.

Dave: Lots of rumors that Kyle Seager is on the block. Is it reasonable that Seattle can get anything useful for him, or is this just salary dump territory?
Keith Law: About $40 million left for two years, probably projects to 4-5 total wins in that period. If they chip in a little cash, I think they could get real value back.

Mike: Is it reasonable to think Andrew Vaughn’s ceiling is Freddie Freeman?
Keith Law: I don’t think that’s the shape of Vaughn’s production if he hits his ceiling.

Deke: If you’re the Rangers, is it Donaldson or bust now? What do you do with the rest of this offseason?
Keith Law: He’s an ideal fit, but does it have to be him or nothing else? What about upgrading other spots, like second base?

Julio Rodriguez: Where do I rank as a prospect out of these options? Top-5, top-10, top-20, top-50, or top 100 prospect?
Keith Law: I won’t publish prospect rankings until probably the start of February, and I’m not going to spoil them now.

JR: You mentioned the Porcello signing for the Mets in your recent recap, but not Wacha. Guessing you view it same as me – decent depth move at a reasonable price with the hope he bounces back, but easy to cut him if he’s done.
Keith Law: Wacha came after I wrote that, I think. He’s also missed chunks of two straight seasons and last year was a disaster. Bit of a flier, low cost for them. Not a bad gamble.

Greg P: KLaw – any of the Rule 5 picks going to amount to anything or is it just a waste of time?
Keith Law: I wrote up the two picks I liked in the column linked at the top of this post. The rule 5 draft remains largely a waste of time.

Kyle KS: How do you treat Hyun-jin Ryu in free agency if you’re running a team? Plan on 25 starts a year out of a really good pitcher and anything over is just bonus?
Keith Law: Maybe put him on the peak Pedro plan, where he’s getting an extra day of rest every time the schedule permits it, maybe skipping a start here or there, to try to get 150-160 great innings and have him in October.

Sam: What was the difference between this year and the last few where things seemed to return to normal on the free agency market and not waiting until spring training for many of the top tier guys to sign?
Keith Law: One other hypothesis: Boras had the top 3 free agents, plus a few other major ones. It wasn’t Boras vs Lozano, like last year. Maybe one agent controlling the top end of the market made a difference.

Alex: The Giants effectively purchased a first round pick for $12M. What are your thoughts on the strategy and do you think teams will do this more? Do you think MLB has an issue with this because one of the argument against trading draft picks was they will be sold to the high market teams?
Keith Law: I think MLB has an issue with it because it reveals how badly first-round picks are underpaid.

Ben: What comes to mind when you hear “Baz Luhrmann + Master and Marg”?
Keith Law: I said to someone else on Twitter that I take hope in the fact that every previously reported adaptation of TM&M has failed to come to fruition.

Stanyon Turtze: Do you have a gut feeling as to how much (if any) correction there will be to the HR rates & distance in the coming season?
Keith Law: No, not at all. You can’t without knowing what the baseballs will be like this year.

Eric: am i being hyperbolic in thinking the end of the republic is near? one side, for the last 10 years, has broken every rule and norm and gaslights the country on a daily basis, while the other just tries to play nice and get stomped over on the reg. i think we’re at the point where “rules” and “norms” in government aren’t upholdable anymore.
Keith Law: If Trump wins re-election next November, I’d feel that way.

Debra: Do you still project Deivi Garcia to start? Or does the future reside in the bullpen? Still a top 50 prospect in your estimation?
Keith Law: Nothing has changed since I ranked him top 50 in July. He’s small, but I think he has the stuff to start.

Jeff: Dodgers linked to Lindor & Clevinger a lot recently, what would be a fair exchange for both sides in your opinion?
Keith Law: Depends on whether Seager is in the deal, but I think the Dodgers would have to put Keibert Ruiz, one of Josiah Gray/Tony Gonsolin, and Jeter Downs in such a trade. Cleveland shouldn’t sell those two guys for less than a home run package and I think that would be one.

Dylan: Going to Denver-area in May for a show at Red Rocks. Rockies are out of town, but any other recommendations for cool things to do/see/experience/eat in the area? Preferably low/middle budget.
Keith Law: (Nate Dogg voice) Smoke weed every day.
Keith Law: Also, i can’t recommend things to do in Denver unless I know if you’re dead.

Tom: Hey Keith, right before the Bundy trade, I saw posts from multiple people about how the O’s completely mishandled him. Do you agree, and where do you think they went wrong? Converting him to a starter in mid-2016 after he’d missed 3 years with injuries?
Keith Law: I have been banging that drum for at least four years now.

Trevor: What type of package would it take for the Reds to acquire Mookie Betts? It seems that they are trying to go all-in this year and that would be the ultimate all-in move. Does it start with Lodolo? Hunter Greene?
Keith Law: They no longer have the pieces to get it done. They squandered them to get Alex Wood and Yasiel Puig and Trevor Bauer.

Jeff: Klaw, do you think that the Central is there for the taking for a team like Cincinnati? Generally speaking (without knowing the cost), would they be best served by adding another bat like Ozuna/Castellanos, or an arm like Bumgarner/Ryu? Thanks for all that you do.
Keith Law: I don’t think they’re close enough to St. Louis or Milwaukee right now. If they would go pay for one of those starters, that might change the equation for me.

Adam: Fan reaction to the Padres’ trading of Buddy Reed made it apparent that he was one of the most overrated prospects in the farm system. Inversely, which prospect in the Padres’ system do you think the organization values much higher than the rest of the industry?
Keith Law: Who overrated him? I’ve always maintained that he can’t hit, back to when he was at Florida. You can’t watch him swing and think that’s going to work. He was just kind of famous.

Pat D: What’s worse, the ghiblis or the jibblies? (Or the jibblie jibblies?)
Keith Law: The number of people who’d get both ends of that joke (this is about something I tweeted today) is pretty small, but I’m sure I’d be friends with them all.

Jim: Pretty underwhelming first couple of additions to the Chaim Bloom era, no? Any thoughts on the two signings?
Keith Law: Underwhelming? What did you expect them to do? They had no place for Rendon, and it was clear ownership wouldn’t open up the wallet for Cole or Strasburg.

Brendan: Any idea why no one from the MLBPA (or a top free agent they’d be interested in signing) hasn’t challenged the Yankees facial hair rule?
Keith Law: I’ve wondered that myself. It’s such petty bullshit, and would never pass a challenge by a player who grew his beard for his religion (e.g., some Sunni Muslims or observant Jews).

Anthony: Jeter seems like a lock, but since it’s HoF season, what are your thoughts on Abreu, the other good first-year player? He reached 60 WAR & could still be a 5% candidate.
Keith Law: He’s kind of behind Rolen for me in the category of players the writers as a whole will likely undervalue … but Abreu is borderline for me too. As of right now, he’s off my ballot, and that’s even with an open spot.

Anthony: Reports in Milwaukee that the team lost money due to the high payroll despite solid attendance figures. Is this actually possible in this day and age or just media spin to get fans on board with shedding salary for a tear down?
Keith Law: (wanking motion)

Jacoby: Is MLB worried that the Astros sign-stealing mess is just a donut hole in the middle of a donut that’s actually inside of another donut hole in the middle of an even bigger donut?
Keith Law: Nicely played. My gut feeling on this is that they’re dragging out the investigation to try to figure out who the highest-profile figure is they can suspend (or worse) for this.

Max: What are your main reasons for why this Mariners rebuild looks promising thus far?
Keith Law: Objection. Leading the chat answerer.

Matt: Were you surprised that the Angels basically took the offer they made to Cole and just gave it Rendon? I would have guessed any offer to the latter would have been somewhat lower.
Keith Law: Is it? I thought they offered Cole more, but I could be wrong.

SPORTS RADIO: WE DEFINITELY SHOULD DICTATE WHAT EVERYONE THINKS! REMEMBER THAT RYAN HOWARD IS THE PRE-EMINENT POWER HITTER OF OUR TIME, KEITH!
Keith Law: He’ll never, ever admit he was wrong.

Andrew V: Have you or are you planning to read Catch and Kill?
Keith Law: Nope.

MikeM: Where does Betances end up and can he be as effective as he was before all the injuries?
Keith Law: Again, I can’t do much with health questions.

Jason: Would it be wise for the brewers to trade Hader? Or is it dumb to trade a guy who is that dominant with 4 years left of control?
Keith Law: Absolutely I would trade him, because the odds of him staying healthy and this good for four more years, based on the history of relief pitchers, are somewhere south of 10%.

Brandon J.: Probably rightfully so, the Dodgers have made it known that they do not plan to move Lux and or May. But if a Cleveland deal involving Lindor and Clevenger was in the works, should they deal these two plus additional prospects?
Keith Law: See above – and notice that I also excluded Lux and May.

Scott: I read your top music of the year column. I am curious as to where you find your music? I have Sirius and listen to a variety of stations but even then I had not heard of several of them.
Keith Law: All over the place. There is no one place. I ‘try’ a lot of stuff, too, because there’s just so much new music out there.

Aaron: Ashamed to admit I only learned about Jen Mac Ramos’ work after hearing about that tragic car accident. While reading the outpouring of love from you and others, I was genuinely curious if you (or a reader) could point me to some material that would help me better understand – in general – preferred/appropriate pronoun usage?
Keith Law: GLSEN has a good, short resource (PDF) on the topic.
Keith Law: By the way, if it bothers you (not you, Aaron, the general you) to have someone else tell you their pronouns, you should probably have a long talk with yourself about why.

Mike: Was Paying $12 million to obtain Will Wilson a wise use of resources?
Keith Law: Of course.

Paul: Does Mazara still have any mystery to him?
Keith Law: He’s 24, so you can’t give up on him, but his approach hasn’t changed in four years now – even though the Rangers worked extensively with him on it.

James Beard: Do you watch any cooking shows? What about home reno shows?
Keith Law: Right now, just GBBO. Home reno shows tend to bore me.

Jake: I’ve always wanted to read Dune, but the big-budget movie is probably my most anticipated film of 2020 (Villanueve is a genius), and now I have the age-old question: book first or movie first?
Keith Law: I always read the book first if I can.
Keith Law: I read David Copperfield in September because Iannucci’s film version is coming out … eventually?

Brian: Assuming Kieboom is probably going to be the 2nd or 3rd baseman for Washington, should they be targeting the best guy regardless of position for the other spot?
Keith Law: Yes, absolutely. I also want them to settle on a single position for Kieboom, so they don’t Kingery him.

Michael: What did you eat in SD?
Keith Law: All the things. Mission, Bird Rock, Juniper & Ivy, Crack Shack, Rovino Foodery, Herb & Wood.

The Vandy man can: Where does David Price end up? What kind of return can the sox expect?
Keith Law: Feels like no trade is most likely. Will he pass a physical/review of his records even if someone agrees to take his contract?

Matt: Are the Cubs putting Bryant on the trade block solely for financial reasons? Or are there actual baseball reasons to trade him for pitching?
Keith Law: My guess is it’s 90% money, 10% baseball.

Kevin: Martin Perez for 6.5 million seems awfully high for a team trying to shed payroll. Does this move seem to indicate that the Red Sox feel confident in trading either Eovoldi or Price?
Keith Law: Or they see something they like that they believe they can fix.

Dan: How did the Ricketts get so, so poor? Poor Ricketts…
Keith Law: They gave it all to the GOP.

James: What’s your take on WIl WIlson, and the Giants Angels trade in general?
Keith Law: See my post on ESPN.com.

Snowy: Sitting in the cue for TOOL tickets, I remember reading that you weren’t a fan which kind of surprised me given some of your other musical tastes. Any particular reason or just not your thing?
Keith Law: I mean, I don’t like their music … not sure how else to describe it. It’s boring.

Orwell: How can so many people avoid the truth? What kind of grip does Putin have on our country?
Keith Law: I never thought I’d see this kind of cultlike devotion to a party or a politician, particularly ones that, in this case, have dedicated themselves to unrolling decades of progress in freedom, equality, or environmental protections. People who live in areas adversely affected by rollbacks in environmental laws continue to profess their intentions to vote red. It’s the most effective mass gaslighting campaign I can think of.

Scotty D from Downingtown: What is more probable – an existing team relocating to Montreal or an expansion team being allocated there?
Keith Law: Neither, in my opinion. MLB isn’t keen to revisit a market where they failed once.

Ghost of Josey Wales: Rangers fans and media are hotly debating whether the Rangers’ reported 6 year, $200M offer to Anthony Rendon, with a 7th year vesting option, was a legitimate effort to try to land Rendon, or just the team going through the motions by making an offer they knew would be rejected so the team could say they tried. What say you?
Keith Law: Obviously legitimate.

Jason: What are your thoughts on the Josh Lindblom signing? Can he have success in MLB?
Keith Law: Yes, as a reliever. Fastball/cutter guy, pitches up a lot, don’t see him turning a lineup over with that pitch combo.

Colin: I’m still skeptical about analytics, i feel a bunch of Ivy League guys figured out a way to scramble statistics in a way to push out longtime baseball guys, and that’s not cool. Can you tell me why i should take WAR seriously?
Keith Law: As an Ivy League guy myself, I think you should probably stop talking out of your ass about “Ivy League guys.” It’s embarrassing.

Dr. Bob: It seems to me that the length of years on a contract is almost meaningless as is AAV. Since contracts are fully guaranteed, then what counts is how many points of WAR a team projects a player to give them over the life of the contract. If the total dollars divided by their decision as to how much dollars per WAR represents value is close, then you have a good contract.
Keith Law: The AAV matters for the salary cap – er, luxury tax. The length of contract matters for individual team budgets, because it might affect the owners’ willingness to pay for additional players at some point in the future.

Bob Pollard: Putting aside how great he is, does nine years for Cole give you any pause at all?
Keith Law: Yes, I outlined why in my reaction post. You can’t project any pitcher out that far.

Tyler: Given the young up-and-coming pieces in the A’s rotation and the fact that they overperformed the last two years, do you think there is any chance they push the Astros this year?
Keith Law: More likely they regress. Division will be tougher as well.

Jason: What do you think now that the 3 batter rule is in effect? Ruins some strategy or will be largely inconsequential?
Keith Law: Eliminates one-batter strategies, and I’m fine with that. I hate mid-inning pitching changes, just speaking as a fan.

Matt: I know this is a few years late, but you recently mentioned how Malcolm Gladwell’s Joe Paterno ideas are disgusting (and I agree). It did remind me, though, that I haven’t read Joe Posnanski in years because of his book on the subject. Is that too harsh? As a journalist, was Posnanski in an impossible situation?
Keith Law: I am friends with Joe and probably not in a good position to answer, but I will say that because he was already mid-project when that story exploded, he had no clear way out of or around it. You can’t just up and deliver a different book than the one you signed a contract to deliver.

silvpak: with treinen and (potentially) betances, am i crazy in thinking the dodgers don’t actually need to do anything? madbum on a decent deal would be a good fit (and the compedy value alone with sfg is worth it), but the offense is pretty set (even a bit overstuffed on the roster side) and i’d be perfectly happy letting gonsolin/urias/stripling/may/santana duke it out for slots 4/5/6 in the rotation (after buehler/kershaw/maeda). maybe hill back on a pillow/rehab contract, but other than that i think they’re better suited waiting it out.
Keith Law: I agree. Starting depth would always help, because so many of their guys have injury histories, and if they can go get a superstar like Lindor they should just do it. But they’re the favorites in the division right now.

Max: JA Happ was highly touted in the trade for Halladay. Has he lived up to the hype surrounding him from that time?
Keith Law: Happ was never traded for Halladay.

Federico: What are your feelings on the Nats effectively choosing Stras over Rendon? Is there a route back to high level contention for them if they can’t manage to get a Donaldson/Bryant level replacement?
Keith Law: I think they knew Strasburg wanted to re-sign and chose that route rather than the uncertainy of Rendon. Rendon’s the better player, obviously.

Ben: Do you think Brandon Marsh would be a realistic get for the Tigers, if they were to send Boyd to LAA? Do you see Marsh as more a solid regular or is there some more upside?
Keith Law: Solid regular with upside is about right.
Keith Law: I’d like that trade for both sides, by the way.

Matt: Why are so many old white dudes angry at a 16 year old child that wants to *checks notes* make the world a better place?
Keith Law: Because she’s interfering with their profits, and perhaps their errant belief that we will always be bailed out of our own mistakes.

Tim: Do you think Milwaukee is actually looking to trade Hader or is this just let’s put his name out there and if someone blows us away we will trade him.
Keith Law: The difference is semantic, no? If they put him out there, they’re at least willing to trade him.

Jason: Would you go to four years on Josh Donaldson?
Keith Law: I would not.

Richard: Lots of worry in Toronto about scouting director Steve Sanders leaving -although the team is saying having your mentor Lacava around will help in the transition. Is losing one guy that crucial ? Will they replace internally?
Keith Law: They have been model-heavy in their draft, and that tends to last beyond a single director. I agree with them that having Lacava around will help as well.

Trevor: Braves have a lot of FA/trade options being rumored around for 3B. Has everyone given up on Riley after a strikeout prone 2nd half at age 22 all while trying to play a new position at the highest level?
Keith Law: Well, trying to play a far easier position, and he was strikeout prone for a reason. There’s enough cause for concern about his production in 2020 to justify the team looking elsewhere.

Guest: I know you are high on Luis Urias, but is it possible that he fell in love with the long ball (esp AAA) that killed his OBP bona fides?
Keith Law: That is almost certainly what happened.

Ben: If things all break right, what is a good comp for Issac Parades? I’ve seen Jhony Peralta mentioned a few times in the past, but maybe that needs to be updated because the Tigers seem to have given up on having him as rotund SS
Keith Law: Paredes has zero chance to play short. He wasn’t good when I saw him at third in the summer. He can definitely hit, and has real doubles power, but I see zero projection there and I think this is kind of what he is – high average, doubles, not many Ks, mediocre D at third.

Ray: The latest rumor reported by the NYT is that Trump might skip the debates in 2020, citing an “unfair process”. Two things: One, I actually predicted this like a year ago, so kudos to me if it happens I guess. Two, god damnit his base would love that wouldn’t they? Probably a shrewd move by him.
Keith Law: Yes, and he can probably only lose support by going up against someone like Warren – and I would guess any Democratic candidate will be better prepared to spar with him this time around.

Andrew V: What round in the draft does the first player you’ve never heard of usually get drafted?
Keith Law: It’s been as high as the first round (Hayden Simpson – I had one note on him from the spring, and didn’t remember it at all when he was taken) but it’s usually the third or fourth.

Chuck: Denver: Drink at Falling Rock Tap House, one of the great craft-beer bars in the U.S. Visit Tattered Cover bookstore.
Keith Law: Heard great things about the Tattered Cover. Also I hear Sushi Den is the place to go for sushi.

Eric: I wanted to hire Jen Mac Ramos at a previous job. What a talent and what a great person. I hope the recovery goes well; I cannot imagine the hell it must be.
Keith Law: Indeed, it will be a very long road but I think I speak for all of us in the online baseball community when I say we are behind them 100%.

TJ: If the reports are true that Wheeler didn’t actually take the highest offer, how often does something like that happen with a high profile free agent? Does the MLBPA have an issue with things like that?
Keith Law: Highest reported offer isn’t always the most money. Local taxes come into play, for one thing.

Ray: Don’t you love the assholes online that mock people for things such as announcing their pronouns, and then demand that they educate them on why it matters? Like, if you really wanted to learn, go out and read about it, Sparky. You’ve already told on yourself by telling me it’s MY job to teach you.
Keith Law: I had someone pull that shit on me two weeks ago … saying I was “pandering” by listing my pronouns. Buddy, if eight characters in my bio (which you should never see unless you go to my profile page – it’s not on my tweets) bother you that much, YOU have a problem.

Casey: Do you have any venison recipes?
Keith Law: I do not eat any red meat other than pork.

Tim: Does Bryant win his grievance which was blatantly obvious to anyone at the time. How could a trade be completed without knowing how much control the acquiring team has?
Keith Law: I don’t think he wins because I don’t see what evidence he could use to support the contention that the Cubs held him down solely to manipulate his service time. You and I know it’s true, but how do you prove that?

Matthew F: I play fantasy baseball with with many great owners from all over the world and its great to see MLB heading back to London again in 2020. Have you heard if MLB wants to expose baseball in other markets worldwide?
Keith Law: I have, but I don’t think anything is locked in yet.

Casey: Is Elehuris a candidate for your top 100 again? Just looking at the stats it seems like he took a step back this year?
Keith Law: Look at the stats and where they came. They jumped him two levels (why?) and he wasn’t ready, plus he missed more than half the year with injury. It’s a lost season but I wouldn’t say he regressed.

Monica Lewinsky: Can we impeach Mitch McConnell???
Keith Law: Matt Bevin just pardoned a man convicted of beheading his wife. Maybe we should ask the voters of Kentucky what they’ve been thinking.

Mark: Just made my first Blueberry pie. I was thinking afterwards it might have come out better if I had cooked the fruit before filling the pie. What say you ?
Keith Law: No, you may have needed more starch to thicken it.

Eric: Just how disgusted are you at the Jonah Keri situation. I hope his family is safe, and that they don;’t have to deal with those monstrous allegations anymore.
Keith Law: It’s beyond words. I wasn’t friends with Jonah, but even knowing I worked alongside him at times makes my skin crawl. Also, why does the court keep releasing him on these trivial bonds, even after he contacted the victim in violation of a court order? How many charges does it take to at least require him to pay more in bail?

Ben: Assuming that ownership signs off on the extra money (a big if), Oakland should absolutely jump on Jed Lowrie just for getting Dom Smith, am I right? Dom Smith seems undervalued to me.
Keith Law: Not sure he’s a good fit for Oakland with Olson there, but I agree that some team should pounce on that. Smith could be someone’s regular at 1b. Maybe Baltimore?

Anon: Hey Keith. I think I’ve needed treatment for a while; I don’t sleep or eat well, I’m extremely irritable and moody, and I have constant plaguing thoughts about my state of mind and future. But the issue is I don’t know what kind of professional I should seek. Psychologist? Therapist? …psychotherapist? Any insight would help. Thank you.
Keith Law: You could start with your primary care doctor – that’s how I started after I had that panic attack while driving. She helped me figure out what treatment I needed.

Ridley: With Brexit looking inevitable and Scoex…Scexi…Scotland leaving the UK looking likely, I’m seriously considering it as a landing place. Have you ever been to Scotland? Any thoughts on it as a place to live?
Keith Law: I worry about my inability to communicate with the locals.

Kevin : Where do you expect Ronny Mauricio to begin his 2020? And do you think he sticks at short?
Keith Law: Definitely sticks at short. Probably starts in high-A.

Steve : I know its not the popular decision but doesnt it make sense to consolidate the amount of minor league teams??
Keith Law: Yes. Note that the minors themselves have no problems moving teams around – 80+ relocations since 1990 – but when MLB suggests it, it’s like they’re pissing on the flag. Many of those markets can’t support baseball, or don’t have the facilities needed. Meanwhile, you have amazing spots like Aberdeen only used about half of the season when they could and should be in a higher classification. We could debate one or two specific locations, but the majority of those on the public list need to go.
Keith Law: Also, you can’t say in one breath that you want minor leaguers to be paid more, and then object to a plan that would result in better working conditions for players.

Mick: I read Vandy Austin Martin will get a shot at short. Can he hold that position all the way to the majors?
Keith Law: I’d like to see it. He was ++ at third when I last saw him.

Van Skike: I never saw your thoughts on the new Beck album… I was disappointed
Keith Law: I was too.

Mark: How could the Veterans committee have blown it so badly with Lou Whitaker?
Keith Law: Call me when the Hall manages to find a writer or executive of color for one of their committees.

Ray: Did you see this female reporter who got her butt smacked by a man while she was on air? The insane thing to me is once the guy was identified, there was a very vocal minority online yelling “Leave him alone – he has kids!” I mean, what in the actual F?
Keith Law: Yeah, and he claimed he didn’t know where he was hitting her. He should be charged with assault. Fuck every man who thinks that is okay.

Rahn: If you’re Ben Cherington, who gets moved out in your plan to improve the Pirates?
Keith Law: I’d shop Marte immediately.
Keith Law: Take offers on relievers and even on Archer, see if someone else is willing to pay to try to rebuild him.

Jason: Is Mauricio dubon a major league starter
Keith Law: I think so.

Yinka Double Dare: In Wheeler’s specific case, even considering the local taxes he took less money – Illinois income tax is currently under 5%, income tax for Philly is about 7% incl. the state and local income taxes
Keith Law: I wasn’t saying that was the issue with Wheeler – I cited taxes as one possible explanation. Maybe Chicago’s offer was more backloaded. Maybe it included option years and they were factoring in buyouts. Rejected offers are never fully made public.
Keith Law: That’s all for this week, and I believe that’ll be all for Klawchats in 2019. Thank you all for reading, and for all of your questions. I’ll be posting frequently to the dish in the next week, and reacting to any major signings or trades in the same time period, so keep an eye out for those. Happy holidays!

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→ December 12, 2019
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Top 15 albums of 2019.

I’ve given up on my gimmick of trying to match the length of this list to the last two digits of the year, which of course made assembling the list harder each year, and I’d rather keep the list organic – these are the albums I really liked from 2019, period. I think it was a down year for music overall, and my top 100 songs of the year will reflect that too, but there were still fifteen albums I liked and went back to repeatedly, with the top two albums standing up against those from any year.

Previous years’ album rankings: 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013.

15. Crows – Silver Tongues. Signed to the new label under punk band IDLES, Crows are two generations removed from punk’s heyday, with sludgy post-hardcore that sounds like a mad scientist crossed Thrice with Drenge. The best tracks include “Wednesday’s Child,” the closest thing to a single on this album; the droning crusher “Hang Me High;” and the bottom-heavy title track that opens the album.

14. Town Portal – Of Violence. Progressive, technical, entirely instrumental metal, with offbeat, intricate guitar work that I thought might be played on a Chapman stick (it’s not). It’s one of two records on this list that subvert typical standards of rock song rhythms and song structures.

13. Temples – Hot Motion. What a great opening troika of songs for this psycheledic trip – the title track, “You’re Either On Something,” and “Holy Horses,” the last of which features one of my favorite guitar riffs of the entire year. The album travels within a narrow path of that late ’60s and early ’70s subgenre of rock, but that kind of music has proven timeless and Temples’ version of it is suffused with good hooks.

12. Wheel – Moving Backwards. Bottom-heavy progressive metal from Finland, with an English vocalist, that features tight radio-friendly singles like “Vultures” and nine- to ten-minute opuses like the title track or “Tyrant,” all of which revolve around giant, crunchy guitar riffs on a foundation of strong bass lines and big percussion.

11. The Amazons – Future Dust. I wanted the Amazons to make more music like “Black Magic,” built around their obvious talent for crafting huge guitar riffs, and they’ve done so with this second album, which has more uptempo songs and lots of muscular guitar work. The best tracks include “Mother,” “Doubt It,” and “End of Wonder.”

10. Foals – Everything Not Saved Will Be Lost, Part 2. Better than Part 1, released six months earlier, the second half of Foals’ diptych is heavier and more consistent throughout, with some of the best grooves they’ve ever laid down. Standouts include “The Runner,” “Like Lightning,” and “Black Bull.” The ten-minute closer “Neptune” is interesting as well, if a bit indulgent.

9. Alcest – Spiritual Instinct. Death metal-shoegaze isn’t really a blend you’d anticipate, but Alcest pioneered it, and for their second straight album (after 2016’s Kodama) they’ve delivered a record of long, thoughtful, intense metal tracks, occasionally punctuated by blast beats and screamed vocals, but with plenty of clean singing and easily discerned melodies.

8. Ten Fé – Future Perfect, Present Tense. Ten Fé’s second album in two years is full of more soft-rock gold, including this song, “Won’t Happen,” “Echo Park,” “Here Again,” “Not Tonight,” and the ballad “To Lie Here is Enough.” The general sound would have fit in on AM radio stations in the 1970s, and they seem like spiritual descendants of 10cc, which blended artsier musical ambitions with enough soft-rock elements to make it on the radio, but Ten Fé manage to do this without sounding anachronistic while working in a slew of great melodies.

7. Hatchie – Keepsake. I liked some of her earlier singles (“Sure” and “Sleep” were both on her Sugar and Spice EP last year) better than what’s on this debut album, but it still includes a number of shimmering ’90s dream-pop tracks that remind me of the best of Lush and other female-fronted Britpop acts that borrowed or just emigrated from Shoegaze. I wish her voice were stronger, but she mostly stays within her range. Standouts include “Obsessed,” “Stay With Me,” and “Without a Blush.”

6. YONAKA – Don’t Wait Til Tomorrow. The Brighton quartet’s debut album doesn’t include either of their best singles from the last two years, “Wouldn’t Wanna Be Ya” or “Teach Me to Fight,” but is still full of great tracks and builds on themes of toxic relationships in Theresa Jarvis’ vocals. Standouts include the sultry “Creature,” the poppy “Rockstar,” the syncopated opener “Bad Company,” and the danceable “Fired Up,” but all of the tracks rely on Jarvis’ tremendous presence and smoky voice.

5. FKA Twigs – MAGDALENE. A whisper of an album, just nine tracks and 39 minutes long, and uneven in a few spots, although I’d say that’s unsurprising given FKA Twigs’ experimental style. Standouts include “sad day,” mournful closer “cellophane,” and her surprising collaboration with Future, “holy terrain.”

4. whenyoung – Reasons to Dream. A stunning debut album from this Irish trio that incorporates shoefgaze and dream pop to back lead singer Aoife Power’s potent vocals, eerily reminiscent of Dolores O’Riordan but with more range. The album starts with a strong quartet of songs in “Pretty Pure,” “Never Let Go,” standout single “The Others,” and “A Labour of Love,” and never lags, peaking again with “In My Dreams” and with the gorgeous closer “Something Sweet,” which is indeed a confection but builds towards a big finish.

3. black midi – Schlagenheim. Schlagenheim is unlike anything I’ve ever heard before. It is dense, intellectual, and challenging, often asking you to rethink the basic tenets of melody and rhythm that have been part of rock music since its inception. It’s also pretentious and at multiple points seems to dare you to skip to the next song, especially with Geordie Greep’s weird intonations and sudden dives into extreme-metal screaming. The album doesn’t include their strong lead-up singles “Talking Heads” or “Crow’s Perch,” which would actually be its most accessible songs if they’d made the record. “Reggae” was my compromise choice for the playlist, because it shows off their tonal oddities and still adheres a little to some rock conventions. The closer “Ducter” has some of the album’s highest points, as does the eight-minute “Western,” but they are endurance tests as well. “Near DT, MI” is a two-minute burst of ideas, but you have to get past Greep screaming at you – and his lyrics typically make little sense. “Speedway” could be a better introduction to what black midi, named after an obscure form of music that can only be played by computers because there are so many notes that sheet music for the songs would appear smudged with black ink, are trying to express through dissonant chords and polyrhythmic drumming. It’s the most interesting and bold album of the year.

2. Michael Kiwanuka – KIWANUKA. The Guardian called this one of the best albums of the decade; I might not quite go that far, but it’s tremendous and grows on me the more I listen to it. His previous album, 2016’s Love and Hate, was nominated for the Mercury Prize and got some airplay here on “adult alternative” stations, which … okay I have no idea what that means or why he’d fit there. There are elements of funk, classic soul, even some psychedelic rock, and his voice sounds a bit like Jimi Hendrix’s in pitch but with more depth. Standout tracks include “Rolling,” “You Ain’t The Problem,” “Hero,” and “Final Days.”

1. Ceremony – In the Spirit World Now. The best new wave album in 35 years, Ceremony’s latest perfectly spans the gap between the most iconic post-punk albums (Gang of Four’s Entertainment!, Wire’s Chairs Missing) and the initial influx of new wave bands that introduced more synthesizers into their sound, like Siouxsie and the Banshees and Joy Division. You can hear Ceremony’s punk roots throughout the album, but this is an overtly accessible album, full of tracks that would have been mainstays on college radio in 1981. The title track, “Turn Away the Bad Thing,” the rousing “Further I Was,” “Say Goodbye to Them,” the almost-punk “We Can Be Free,” the guitar-driven “Years of Love” are all worthy, and other than “Presaging the End” there isn’t a letdown on the 11-song, 32-minute album.

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→ December 11, 2019
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Three new games for kids.

I occasionally get games from publishers that are beyond what I typically play and review – my focus for Paste is strategy games, and if you include social deduction games in that, you’ve got just about everything I play, too. I don’t do RPGs, for example (cough-Gloomhaven-cough), and I don’t play the straight party games that often show up in my mailbox. I do, however, find myself playing a few more games that are aimed just at younger kids lately, and have three I can recommend if you’re looking for gifts for the little ones. These are games you’d never play except with young kids.

Friends of a Feather, from Ravensburger, is aimed at the youngest players – ages 3 and up – and has incredibly simple rules and goals. Each player gets a bird (which looks a bit like a table tennis paddle) and will try to gather feathers in their own matching color, taking them one at a time from the nest in the center or trading in two at a time for a matching pair. There are four colors plus “rainbow” feathers that are wild, although I have found kids like those so much they may try to gather those above all else. I played this with a smart three-year-old and she had no problem understanding the rules or the goal, and kept showing off her panoply of feathers.

Friends of a Feather.

The Furglars, from Bananagrams, is a dice-rolling game with a very light dice-drafting mechanic. The dice have four different symbols on their six sides: the furglar monster symbols, locks, hands (for picking locks and stealing dice), or blanks. On your turn, you roll all of the dice that aren’t stored as furglars on someone’s card, and then choose which dice to keep. You can buy point cards with furglars, spending 1/2/3/4 dice for 1/2/4/7 points, or you can keep up to 3 furglars, and may protect any of them with locks, one die with a lock showing per furglar die. You can also use one hand die to steal an unprotected furglar from an opponent, or to pick and remove a lock protecting someone else’s furglar. The point goal to win the game varies with player count but it’s 15 for four players, which really doesn’t take very long. The only rule that is a bit tricky for younger players involves how the locks work: You need one per furglar you’re protecting, but on their next turn, they keep the furglar dice but must re-roll the locks.

Catlantis, also from Ravensburger and designed by the Prospero Hall collective (Villainous, Kero), is a silly card-matching game listed for players 8 and up but really playable with younger kids, at least down to age 6. The deck mostly comprises cards that show these Dr. Moreau-level cat/mermaid hybrids, with five cats and five mermaid tails mixed up in all 25 potential combinations. At the start of the game, each player is randomly assigned a cat and a tail and must try to collect as many cards as possible that match those. The gimmick here is how you get cards: There is a rolling market of four cards at all times, and on your turn, you pick any two of those cards and offer them to an opponent, who must pick one, leaving you with the other one. A full round involves each player making such offers to all opponents, after which the round resets. The deck also has three types of treasure cards, which become more valuable the more you collect a specific treasure; and a few cards worth straight points. That card-drafting mechanic is a little weird and certainly not intuitive, especially in the sense of knowing what cards to pick so that your opponent takes the one you don’t want and leaves you with the one you do, but the kids with whom I’ve played this like the silly art and theme. Younger players may need reminders to check their cat and tail cards to ensure they keep matching the correct ones. My one issue with the game is its length – we have always had to cut the game short rather than complete the entire deck because someone, and not always one of the kids playing, started to lose interest.

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→ December 10, 2019
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Marriage Story.

Noah Baumback’s Marriage Story, now streaming on Netflix, landed six nominations yesterday for the Golden Globe Awards for Male Filmmakers, including Best Motion Picture and Best Screenplay, although it didn’t get a nod for Best Director. It’s a bit puzzling given how weak the film is in most aspects, with thinly-drawn characters, a story that actually isn’t all that interesting, and a stunning lack of self-awareness about how one-percenty this story is.

This isn’t a marriage story, but a divorce story. Charlie (Adam Driver, nominated for Best Actor) and Nicole (Scarlett Johanssen, also nominated) are splitting up, although she’s the more adamant of the two and eventually is the one who takes the firm steps to move from separation to divorce. He’s a somewhat successful playwright in New York and she is his muse and lead actress, but when she gets a part on a pilot in LA, she leaves and takes their eight-year-old son with her, which Charlie seems to think is temporary but Nicole intends to be permanent. Their trouble communicating, highlighted in the first of many caricatures with their incompetent mediator (who is playing couples counselor, not like an actual mediator), eventually leads Nicole to hire a strong attorney (Laura Dern, nominated for Best Supporting Actress and deserving) and to surprise Adam with divorce papers, after which the process becomes more contentious and further details of their marriage start to spill out.

The entire story is smug from start to finish, full of knowing nods to life in New York and LA. (Really, the tea and biscotti sequence was so cringeworthy.) There’s a lot of arguing about how they don’t really have any assets to divide, even though these are two hilariously privileged people. Nicole refers to Charlie as a narcissist and she’s not entirely wrong; for most of the movie, really up until he realizes that he might lose custody entirely, he’s wrapped up in himself, and comes off that way in Nicole’s retelling of their marriage and courtship, then again near the end when he’s telling his actors about mundane details of divorced life. I could have done without Driver’s weird karaoke thing towards the finish as well. What might have been interesting about their dying relationship is how the two of them are unable to hear each other, especially Charlie’s inability or unwillingness to hear Nicole and see her as an equal with agency and goals beyond his, but the script barely explores that at all, and eventually careens into two big arguments, one on the phone that introduces an element to the divorce that makes you turn completely on Charlie (with reason), and then a blowout argument in his apartment that rather confirms that he’s an asshole and ends in utterly unbelievable fashion.

Most of the side characters are painfully one-dimensional, starting with Henry, who is supposed to be 8 years old but still sits in a car seat meant for much younger kids, who whines like a younger kid, who doesn’t want to eat any food that touched the “green thing.” Baumbach wrote him like a kindergartener, and he’s played like one, which makes him kind of insufferable – just like nearly every other side character. Nicole’s mother is an atrocious character played with a nails-on-the-chalkboard childlike voice by Julie Hagerty. The expert who comes to observe Henry at his parents’ houses is impossibly mousy and humorless. The lawyers are better developed than the family members across the board, and I suppose if this were Lawyer Story that would make sense. 

Why do critics seem to love this movie? Do they see something of their own lives in it? It is anchored by a great performance by Johanssen, a solid one by driver, and some strong supporting turns by Dern, Alan Alda (just wonderful in a small role as an avuncular attorney Charlie hires), and Ray Liotta (looking roided up as a bulldog attorney Charlie consults), but Baumbach forgot to finish drawing everything around them – the other characters, the depth their back story required, or some of the realism around their conflicts after she’s served him with papers. Even the one revelation about Charlie, which of course happens all the time in actual marriages, ends up derailing the story in a way because he goes from maybe-the-bad-guy to definitely-the-bad-guy, rather than advancing the actual marriage story – and it gives us another scene with a one-dimensional side character that tries to be funny but doesn’t work either. I don’t get any of this, even though you might think that I’d be right in this film’s demographic. It feels like the story of a marriage and divorce written by someone who’s never gone through either.

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→ December 9, 2019
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Imhotep The Duel.

Imhotep came in at #24 on my top 100 boardgames list last month, one of the best games from one of my favorite designers, Phil Walker-Harding, the same mind behind Gizmos (#37), Sushi Go Party! (#87), Bärenpark (#88), Silver & Gold (#48), and Cacao (#43), although if there’s a hiccup with Imhotep it’s that the game, designed for 2 to 4 players, becomes a bit like two-player solitaire if that’s your player count. Enter this year’s Imhotep The Duel, which reimagines the base game for two players in a way that forces more interaction and requires you to think about what your opponent might be doing far more often than you would in the original game. It takes the feel and many of the main elements of Imhotep but changes some of the fundamental mechanics to make it a new game, and also condenses the playing experience to about 20 minutes. Like 7 Wonders Duel, this is how a two-player version of a larger game should relate to its original.

In Imhotep The Duel you’re still trying to unload goods from boats on to four different spaces – the obelisk, the temple, the pyramids, and the tombs – but this time, each player has their own track of four player spaces, each of which has a basic and advanced side, and all of the goods are different, whereas in the original you were just placing your stones. Each player has four meeples and will place them on a 3×3 board that has six boats along two of its adjacent sides. Each space on the grid corresponds to one space on each of two boats, one touching its column and one its row. When a boat’s row/column has at least two meeples on it, either player may choose to unload the boat, assigning the goods in those spaces to players whose meeples were in the corresponding spaces.

Imhotep The Duel setup

On a turn, you may place a meeple, unload a boat, or use a blue action tile that lets you do something more powerful. If you’ve placed your four meeples, you have to unload a boat or use an action tile that doesn’t require placing a meeple, so there will be frequent unloading throughout the game. The tiles on the boats correspond to the four spaces on each player track as well as the blue action tiles, which let you place 2 or 3 meeples in one turn, steal any single good from a boat (skipping the meeple/unloading mechanism), swap two tiles on one boat and then unload it, or place a meeple and then unload up to two boats in one turn.

The basic scoring sides for the four spaces on your track are straightforward, and three of the four have a competitive aspect to them. The obelisk tiles are all identical and score one point per tile, but the player who has the most at the end gets a six-point bonus. The pyramids come in two colors with six tiles in each color available, and each tile you place on one pyramid is worth N points, where N is the number of tiles you’ve placed there so far – so 1-2-3-4-5-6 tiles are worth 1-3-6-10-15-21 points. Since those are scarce, going for the same pyramid as your opponent limits both of your upsides. The tomb tiles are numbered 1-12, each unique, and you score for contiguous groups of tiles, with those values also scaling up with a maximum of 5 adjacent tiles for 25 points. Groups of 6+ also score at 25, so your opponent might try to give you a tile that joins two of your groups and takes potential points away. Only the temple tiles are noncompetitive – each has 1 to 4 dots on it representing its point value.

The ‘B’ sides introduce a bit more competition and strategy but are still pretty simple to grasp. The obelisk gives a bonus of 12 points to the first player to get to 5 tiles and 6 points to the second, but if one player gets 10 tiles they get all 18 points. The temple switches from one point per dot to points for collecting sets of tiles with 1, 2, 3, and 4 dots. The pyramids now only score for your pyramid with fewer tiles on it, and you lose 6 points if you have 0 tiles on either pyramid. The tombs now score 4 points per group of tiles, with one tile still constituting a group, so you want to separate your tiles as much as possible (e.g., only getting odd-numbered tiles).

When there are no longer enough tiles in the supply to refill a boat a player has unloaded, that boat is removed from the game. The game ends when the fifth boat has been unloaded, so there will always be one boat (with three tiles on it) that isn’t unloaded. Players add up their points from the four scoring areas, then gain one point per unused blue action tile and one per meeple still on the 3×3 board. I timed my last game, against a player who’d never played this version before, and we finished in just under 20 minutes. It’s fun, portable, and fast to set up & play, and I’ll put it among my top ten two-player games when I next update that list. I got it for $13 on sale but it’s still just $19 on amazon.

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→ December 7, 2019
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Knives Out.

Knives Out might as well have been made explicitly for me. I can’t remember the last time I saw a movie that fit so many things I like in movies or even literature. It’s a mystery, and a fairly clever one. It’s witty on multiple levels. It’s very fast-paced, with a sort of hyper-reality to the dialogue. It left me wanting more of the same, and never felt overstuffed. It’s an homage to my favorite genre of films and novels, but never descends to parody. It’s not quite perfect, but my god did I enjoy every minute of it.

Rian Johnson wrote and directed the film, and did a similar homage to noir mysteries with his first feature film, Brick, but without the humor of this film, which is very much a British mystery in the style of Agatha Christie’s novels. He’s assembled an incredible cast, with Daniel Craig chewing scenery all over the country manor house as the pompous ‘gentleman detective’ Benoit Blanc – so we’re not even going to be subtle about the Christie allusions – who is Hercule Poirot with an exaggerated southern drawl that another character compares accurately to Foghorn Leghorn. It’s a bit of overkill, because he wrote the film like every Poirot or Miss Marple novel where there’s a bunch of eccentric characters who get very little depth or development, but given how much these actors appear to be enjoying the ride, it’s hard not to enjoy watching them do so.

Blanc, like Poirot in most of his novels, isn’t introduced until some time has already elapsed in the story. Instead we are introduced to Harlan Thrombey (Christopher Plummer, a delight as ever), bestselling mystery writer and, as of the opening scene in the film, recently deceased. A week later, two police officers (LaKeith Stanfield, woefully underused, and Noah Segan) arrive to question all of the family members, with Blanc sitting in the background and only interjecting after the formal questioning is over. The family members are all simply aghast at the implication that the patriarch was murdered – well, all except for his mother – and get worked up when Blanc starts probing. Enter Marta (Ana de Armas), Harlan’s private nurse, a Peruvian woman whose mother is an undocumented immigrant and who can’t lie without throwing up. Blanc uses the latter feature to his advantage, while others try to exploit the former for their own ends. Marta was the last person to see Harlan alive, and knows more about the circumstances of his death than anyone else, so Blanc appoints her his deputy (in a way) and sets about solving the crime.

Knives Out is all story and dialogue, and I’m good with that. I especially love the Poirot stories because I enjoy his character – the pompous, brilliant little Belgian man with the “face fungus” and silly hat and ability to solve crimes by the “psychology” of the suspects – and Blanc offers a lot of that too, similarly enamored of his own abilities, perhaps less perceptive when it comes to the suspects’ psychological motives but more entertaining with his turns of phrase. If you’re looking for complex characters or character growth, though, it’s not here: this is an old-school whodunit that lives and dies – pun intended – by the murder and its solution, buoyed by rapid-fire dialogue that would do His Girl Friday‘s writers proud. It is frequently funny, never riotously so, but consistently amusing, and Johnson did imbue several of the characters with varying degrees of wit, with Linda (Jamie Lee Curtis, who really inhabits her role and could carry a movie in that character) dashing off some of the best lines. So you’ll get to see a stupendous collection of actors – Michael Shannon, Don Johnson, Toni Collette, Chris Evans, Chris Evans’ sweater, even M. Emmet Walsh – get not quite enough to do, but do a lot with what they get.

The story itself is good, but I think it’s a bit too easy to solve. I suspect I know what Johnson was trying to do, but it doesn’t quite work. I wasn’t sure I knew it until the end, and even then I realized I missed one really big clue, but it’s a bit too clear from the midpoint of the film who the most likely culprit is. Johnson does dial up the resolution to eleven, though, and perhaps the greatest strength of the script is how often little lines or events from earlier in the film pay off at the end. It rewards you for paying attention, and my attention was rapt from the beginning.

Johnson has already said he’d like to do a sequel with Blanc as the lead detective solving another murder, and I’m here for it – but I acknowledge I am at the absolute center of the circle encompassing the target audience for such a film. I love an old-timey murder mystery, and Johnson gave me the best new one I’ve seen or read in a very long time. It has flaws I wouldn’t forgive in a non-genre film, but great genre fiction often adheres to the genre’s intrinsic rules. I wish I could have seen Curtis fire off a few more quips or to know how Evans character became such a spoiled disaster, or gotten more mileage from the gag about the grandson who’s an alt-right troll (and looks like someone hit Mark Gatiss with a Benjamin Button ray), but this isn’t that kind of movie. Your mileage may vary.

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