Two new draft blog entries.

Mike Leake report. Waiting on video.

A quick discussion of Derek Tatsuno, one of the best college pitchers ever.

And, in a complete non sequitur, one of my favorite old Sesame Street sketches:

Looks like Sesame Workshop is throwing vintage sketches up on Hulu, which means much higher video quality than the (legally questionable) clips posted on Youtube by viewers and fans.

Friday semi-open thread.

In yesterday’s chat, I was asked to name the first ten players I’d put into a restarted Hall of Fame, and came up (off the top of my head) with these names:

Babe Ruth
Ted Williams
Honus Wagner
Walter Johnson
Cy Young
Lefty Grove
Mickey Mantle
Rogers Hornsby
Rickey Henderson
Warren Spahn

The question of today, of course: Who would be your ten, using only actual HoF-eligible players and not giving it too much thought or research? (Since I answered off the cuff, I’m asking all of you to do the same.)

I’ll also throw a link up here when the Mike Leake piece is posted.

Thursday chat.

It’s about 90% certain but I intend to do a Klawchat on Thursday at the usual time, 1 pm EST, although it will be 11 am and sunny and warm and not snow-covered here in Arizona. I also have a tentative hit on 710 ESPN on the Mason & Ireland show tomorrow, at something like 3 pm PDT. This will likely require me to drop the “Manny is going to sign with the Dodgers” shpiel I’ve been giving for four months in favor of a “I told you Manny was going to sign with the Dodgers” shpiel that will go stale in about four minutes.

I’m planning to see Mike Leake at ASU on Thursday night, so if you’re in the park, come by and say “hi,” preferably at some point when Leake is not actually pitching.

Posts will be sporadic this month, but I’ll try to at least write book reviews as I go. Currently almost done with Elizabeth Inchbald’s A Simple Story.

Houston eats 2009.

I’ll start off with the two places that I visited on my last trip to Houston and revisited this time, but unfortunately, neither measured up. The Breakfast Klub’s biscuits were sublime and soft in ’07, but I went twice and both times got a dry biscuit that was flaky but not tender. One of the two days nothing on my EMPT plate was hot other than the potatoes. And on Saturday, the biscuit wasn’t that fresh – the line was out the door, and yet the biscuit tastes a few hours old. I don’t get it.

The restaurant inside the Inn at the Ballpark – I really like that hotel, by the way; lots of character but no kitsch – was also disappointing. Service was slow, shrimp on the shrimp BLT didn’t seem to have been fully thawed before they were cooked, the “prosciutto” on the chicken breast sandwich turned out to be American ham (which I despise), and the homemade potato chips – another highlight of my last trip – were greasy and kind of stale for both meals. The quality of the ingredients was still generally high, and they comped the chicken sandwich when I asked about the prosciutto/ham mixup even though I insisted at the time that I didn’t want them to comp the meal and was just confused about whether I’d gotten what I ordered. But it wasn’t the same as it was two years ago.

I guess I’ll start at the bottom and work my way up … I was on I-10 from San Antonio to Houston, which is roughly as populated as Montana, so I ended up grabbing a meal at Whataburger, supposedly Texas’ answer to In-n-Out. I suppose the question was, “Can we come up with a fast-food chain that’s half as good as In-n-Out which in and of itself isn’t quite as good as Five Guys?” (Insert “Yes We Can!” sound bite here.) Suitable for food emergencies.

I wanted to go to Thelma’s BBQ, just a few blocks from the hotel, but when I called to check their hours I found out that they were closed for renovations after a restaurant fire a few weeks earlier. (The message thanked people for their prayers; if people are praying for the restaurant, that must be some good Q.) The concierge at the hotel redirected me to Pappas B-B-Q, which was adequate but nothing special. The brisket was a little dry and desperately needed the sauce; the spicy rice wasn’t really that spicy; the lima beans were giant (for whatever reason I expected baby limas, one of my favorite southern dishes) and cooked to baby-food consistency. The sausage was good, but again not that spicy.

I had better Q at PitMaster BBQ in the Woodlands area a few days later. Even though Texas is brisket country, they’re known for their “Memphis-style” pork shoulder and pork ribs. I’m not entirely sure what that means, but the pulled pork was very good – extremely moist and smoky, although the rub didn’t impart much flavor. Their fried okra was just-fried and not too greasy; their baked beans were well above-average, white beans that still had some tooth with a tangy-sweet sauce that I thought had apple juice in it (I asked, no apple juice – although I think that could be a great flavor to add to baked beans). And then there was the “Texas Toast” – one thick slice of white sandwich bread, grilled on one side. If anyone knows the purpose of this, let me know. White sandwich bread is kind of a waste of wheat. Across the street from PitMaster is an “Italian-Style Ice Cream and Coffee” shop called Kremi that I would have tried if I’d had time; if anyone has a chance to check it out, I’d like a report. Houston isn’t a place in which I’d expect to find great gelato, but like my man Joaquin Andujar said, youneverknow.

Pho Saigon is a local chain of Vietnamese restaurants, and I’m not sure what to say about it. I’ve had Vietnamese food dozens of times, and it’s always the same. I don’t think I’ve ever had bad Vietnamese food – I usually go with pho or bun – and I can only think of one time I had really amazing Vietnamese food, at Pho Quyen in Pinellas Park, Florida. Pho Saigon’s bun was … the same as everyone else’s. About the only remarkable thing was that the vegetables served on the side (carrots, cucumbers, bean sprouts) were exceptionally fresh, like they’d just been sliced.

Last get was dessert – I passed a Ritters Frozen Custard on the way to see Matt Purke and banged a U-turn because, frankly, frozen custard shouldn’t be passed. Turns out that Ritters is a chain – not sure how I missed it – and, even better, they now have a location in Surprise, Arizona. The texture was absolutely amazing – that’s probably as close to perfect as you’ll find in frozen custard – and the cake batter flavor (which, I admit, freaks me out a little) was dead on. Their most popular flavor, “Turtle Something,” is a caramel custard with pieces of chocolate shell and pecans; turtle ice cream really needs fudge or some other kind of chocolate, since chocolate shell 1) is so hard that it doesn’t melt readily in the mouth and 2) isn’t really chocolate anyway.

Monday links.

I’ll be on ESPNEWS today at 2:40 pm EST.

Squawking Baseball has a great interview up with John Coppolella, the Director of Baseball of Administration for Atlanta, focusing largely on the arbitration process.

Good article on how maybe we’re getting a little paranoid about food allergies. Funny slightly related story: My daughter has a mild allergy to pine nuts, and after she got a rash from eating store-bought pesto, we took her to an allergist for tests. The allergist was Taiwanese, and didn’t know what pine nuts were. When we explained, his response was, “People eat those?”

Steve Biel of the totally-dated blog Fire Jim Bowden gets quizzed about his role in the Vast Baseball Media Conspiracy by Dan Steinberg.

One thing that does bug me about the ongoing bailout: “Can the Administration report how many of the people due to receive tax dollars spent home equity on plasma TVs?” Seeing rent-to-own tire stores in Houston last week made me wonder just when it became acceptable to finance anything and everything you purchase.

American Pastoral.

Before I get to the book, I’ve got two new draft blog entries up, one on Purke, Coffey, and Grichuk, the other on Graham, Cole, Wilson, and Berry. And, of course, Jason Churchill continues to churn out daily updates on top picks’ performances.

Stand in awe not of Communism, my idiot child, but of ordinary, everyday loneliness. On May Day go out and march with your friends to its greater glory the superpower of superpowers, the force that overwhelms all. Put your money on it, bet on it, worship it – bow down in submission not to Karl Marx, my stuttering, angry, idiot child, not to Ho Chi Minh and Mao Tse-Tung – bow down to the great god Loneliness!

Philip Roth’s American Pastoral – winner of the 1998 Pulitzer Prize for Fiction, #99 on the Guardian 100, and part of the TIME 100 – tells the story of Seymour “Swede” Levov, a star high school athlete whose perfect, seemingly worry-free life is shattered when his daughter and only child, the ironically-named Merry, commits an act of domestic terrorism that takes a life and slowly tears Swede’s world apart. American Pastoral is one of Roth’s “Zuckerman novels,” featuring his alter ego, grumpy author Nathan Zuckerman, although it is a blessing that Zuckerman disappears as an active character after about 75 pages. The novel then shifts to of metafiction – it is not Swede’s actual story, but Zuckerman’s reimagining of Swede’s story based on a handful of details he got from Swede and later from Swede’s brother Jerry. This aspect is particularly unsatisfying; unlike, say, McEwan’s bait-and-switch novel Atonement*, we’re in on the gag all along, but the question of whether we’re reading Swede’s “actual” story or what Roth wants (consciously or subconsciously) Swede’s story to be hangs over the entire work.

*Oddly enough, the TIME 100 includes at least four works of metafiction – the two I’ve mentioned, Margaret Atwood’s The Blind Assassin, and Flann O’Brien’s At Swim-Two-Birds. Only the last one was a fully-realized and satisfying work of fiction, which may be because it didn’t take its interior novel very seriously – the line between reality and fiction was deliberately blurred and the work is more farce than Serious Novel.

If Roth succeeded at anything, it was creating a deeply disturbing work of fiction. Other than the thought of one’s death, nothing hits at one’s emotional core as much as a thought of the destruction, gradual or acute, of one’s family. Merry appears to be just another angry teenager until she throws a bomb, and even in hindsight there was no clear warning to her parents that she was even capable of such an act of abject violence. Swede’s idyll is destroyed in between the time he goes to sleep one night and wakes up the next, and the devastation is compounded by the fact that Merry disappears immediately after the bombing. One thing that you can’t fully understand until you have a child is just how completely your emotions are wrapped up in that child. No matter what Merry did, Swede can not sever himself emotionally from her. She is his daughter, and his only child at that, and even if reuniting with her meant she would have to go to jail, he is emotionally determined to find her and, metaphorically and physically, bring her home.

Unfortunately, Swede’s emotional determination is an isolated character trait, as, for whatever reason, Zuckerman (Roth) did not imbue him with decisiveness. Swede confronts a couple of inflection points in the novel, simple and I would say obvious choices, and time and again he chooses inaction. There’s one scene towards the novel’s end where Swede has his best chance to piece something of his life back together – like a torn labrum, it will never be the same again, but it can be partially repaired – and, channeling Bill James on Jeff Bagwell, he passes. I found this not only maddening but beyond belief: There’s no way. I could not put myself into Swede’s shoes in that situation and choose “none of the above.” And I doubt many fathers, if any, would choose it either.

Swede’s failure to take any of the “right” choices means that the story lacks closure. We know from early on what has happened to Swede, and we have a pretty good idea of what ultimately happened to Merry (although whether Swede was telling the literal truth there may be open to debate). What we don’t get is the interim – Zuckerman focuses on the five or six years between the bombing and the start of the breakdown of Swede’s marriage, but doesn’t tell us what happened to Merry, who on earth Rita Cohen was, how exactly Swede’s marriage broke apart (did we see the triggering event? Did they hang on and fake it for a few more years), how he ended up with his second wife and three sons and whether or not that gave him any peace or happiness or proved inadequate to fill the gaping void left by the departure of his daughter from his life … we get none of these answers. I’m not saying every question needs a firm resolution, but Roth leaves us with more frayed ends than an overwashed head of hair.

The decision to focus on Swede over Merry is part plot contrivance, since Zuckerman knows Swede but never met Merry, but when Merry has a chance to say her piece, Zucker-Roth shifts to summary mode. We get pages upon pages of description of the manufacturing of ladies’ gloves and the history of the manufacturing of ladies’ gloves – was Roth momentarily possessed by the spirit of Herman Melville? – but of Merry’s life on the run we get a few paragraphs. The autobiography of Merry Levov could be – would be – a hell of a book. But I sure learned a lot about gloves, or the attitude of early 1970s couples towards Deep Throat, or the history of Bill Orcutt’s family.

I don’t know if Roth has ever addressed this, but in many ways Swede Levov resembles Rabbit Angstrom. He’s not an agent of his own destruction the way that Rabbit is, but they have similar backstories – star high school athletes who never quite live down that early fame and promise but who carry their sports-related nicknames through life, who marry against the wishes of their domineering fathers, and whose family lives come apart at the seams as we watch and as they fail to take basic steps to preserve them. Rabbit runs, while Swede stammers. In the end, it’s kind of the same thing.

Had Roth not wasted the first 75-odd pages on that annoying little Zucker – thus sparing us his self-centered Donnie Downer act – and rounded out the Swede story a little more, it would have been a clear Klaw 100 entry. Once the narration shifted, the pace picked up dramatically around the handful of tangents into glove manufacturing and Orcutt family genealogy, and he created one very compelling (if flawed – but is the flaw Roth’s, Zuckerman’s, or Swede’s?) character in whom most readers, particularly parents, should find some sympathetic or familiar trait. If anything, the book ended 75 pages too soon, and I wish Roth had expended the energy he blew on Zuckerman’s prostate on filling in some of the blank spots on the Levov family canvas.

Apropos of nothing other than its presence in the book, I did learn one unusual new word: uxorious, meaning excessively fond of or submissive to a wife. I’ll have a hard time working that into a Draft Blog entry.

The Simple Art of Murder.

Playing catchup on the reading list a bit here … Raymond Chandler, one of my favorite authors in any genre, wasn’t an especially prolific writer; he published nothing until he was in his forties and his total output was seven completed novels and (according to this Chandler bibliography) 25 short stories, some of which he expanded into novels years after they were published in pulp magazines. The Simple Art of Murder includes eight of his short stories as well as his famous essay from Atlantic Monthly that gave the collection its title. That essay is a spirited defense of the detective story as a literary art form while also serving as a criticism of the degeneration of the genre through what Chandler seems to have considered hack writing, including contrived plot details and unrealistic motives.

The short stories seemed to lack the crisp writing and brisk pacing of the Chandler novels I’ve read, but the constant change of detective characters and milieus means that if you like the genre at all, you’ll probably find a story in the collection that hits all the high notes for you. It’s more a matter of taste than quality, but I enjoyed “Pearls Are a Nuisance” with its main detective’s stilted language and light parody of bad detective stories, and the closing story, “Nevada Gas,” which had a faster pace, higher stakes, and a slightly more intricate plot than any of the other stories. None of them can match The Big Sleep or The Long Goodbye for character or tension, so if you’re new to Chandler I’d recommend you start with those novels and save Murder for later.

Worth checking out: The Raymond Chandler fansite I mentioned above is the best resource I’ve seen on his works. You can read the full text of the essay “The Simple Art of Murder.”

Draft article and video.

They’re hard to find with the new site format, but I have a draft blog entry up on Shelby Miller and Everett Williams, with a video available of Miller (from the side) as well. Both appear to be behind the Insider wall.

EDIT: The Miller video isn’t playing properly. I’m told that the tech guys are working on it. I’ve also uploaded videos of Matt Purke and Cameron Coffey and have filed a draft blog entry on those two kids as well as Randal Grichuk.

Snark.

I saw the title of David Denby’s new polemic, Snark, and I simply had to have it. Whether it was pro-snark or anti-snark, it didn’t matter. As it turns out, it’s anti-snark, and it’s awful – the whine of a man who, I’m guessing, has been the target of snark and doesn’t like it.

Snark‘s biggest problem is that it’s not clear on its subject: Denby struggles to define snark, and redefines it on the fly as the situation suits him. Denby gives examples of what he considers snark, but he is using “snark” as a catchall term to identify and sequester anything he doesn’t like. It seems to me that snark, to Denby, means any content or commentary that insults its target or adversary; any content or commentary that is maybe kind of unfriendly or might hurt someone’s feelings; any content or commentary that slanders or libels its target; and any content or commentary that criticizes Barack Obama. Insults and calumny are their own categories, and they likely have no defenders; a book that says “slander is bad” is somewhat tautological in nature, as no one is running around saying that it’s good, and slander is bad as much as water is wet and David Denby is confused about snark. Unfriendly content is snark, in Denby’s world, when he decides that it’s snark; he makes a point of excusing several snarky pundits whose snarktacular ways are an essential part of their popular appeal, such as Steven Colbert.

I have no objection to Denby taking the opportunity to praise the best satirists and ironists out there, but his inability to pin down snark – and the ways he takes pains to say that he recognizes the benefit of some forms of what can only be called ridicule – frustrates the entire work. It’s best encapsulated in the schizophrenic chapter on Maureen Dowd, the vitriolic and popular Washington-based writer for the New York Times. I’m no fan of Dowd’s, but Denby’s complaint – in short, that she can be cutting in ways that don’t necessarily inform the reader – is weak, and once again, he seems to be most up in arms when she’s attacking Democratic candidates, particularly Obama.

The book is short and is unbalanced in its approach to dissecting snark or whatever it is that Denby is dissecting. An early “fit” (what Denby calls his chapters – I suppose that’s supposed to be cute, but it came off as pretentious) describes the history of snark, with a long tangent on Juvenal, perhaps the progenitor of snark or at least one of its earliest practitioners. He deserved a mention, not a long digression with samples of his work (which, by the way, sounded a lot more like crude insult than snark). Similarly, the passage on the origin of the word “snark” – from Lewis Carroll’s epic poem “The Hunting of the Snark” – doesn’t have much bearing on the current meaning of the term. I think Denby’s real motivation for spending so much time on the poem is that he likes saying “Boojum.”

I’m not the only one who thought Snark to be a waste of a few hours; it received a strongly negative review from the Times, and I found this point-by-point review of Snark that viewed the book as validation for the snarkers.

Next up: I’m a little backlogged on writeups – I just finished Philip Roth’s American Pastoral and have started Tom Stoppard’s play Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead.

Manhattan: Cuban food and chocolate pie.

Had to go to Manhattan for a meeting on Monday and then walk ten blocks to do a TV hit, and in between the two was a Cuban place called Sophie’s, one of a chain of six in midtown and downtown Manhattan. It compares favorably to Versailles in Los Angeles, which (according to several of you) is itself a pretty good spot for Cuban food.

Sophie’s has a funny setup – the one I went to, on Lex between 40th and 41st, has a small seating area with table service, but also has a cafeteria-style line for people who want their food to go. I sat down and ordered one of their regular platters (as opposed to one of the four specials, which vary depending on the day of the week), the roast pork. Most of their platters include a meat and two sides for $8; I went with yellow rice and black beans, and then ordered a dish of maduros on the side for another $1.50. The pork had outstanding flavor and I got plenty of end meat, although the center was a little bit dry. The pork at Versailles came in a tart mojo sauce, which probably was the reason the meat there didn’t dry out in the middle. The yellow rice was … well, it was rice, but it was fresh rice, and didn’t have any hard or dried-out grains because it had been sitting for too long. The maduros weren’t hot, but were sweet and well-browned. They serve the fruit/dairy concoctions called batidas, but I was only willing to be so full before going on TV.

Also worth mentioning – the Mississippi Mud Pie from the Little Pie Company. It’s sort of like the darkest, richest brownie batter you’ve ever tasted, served in an Oreo cookie crust. A bit outrageous at $22 for an 8″ pie, but it is decadent and there’s no trace of milk chocolate (better known as “chocolate for people who don’t like chocolate” or “sissy chocolate”) anywhere in it.