The collected thoughts of sportswriter, bookworm, & food critic Keith Law
I AM WRITING THIS FROM MY BLACKBERRY!
Some notes/errata from today’s chat…
•I wrote a doubly misleading comment on Antonelli. One, he played 3b at Wake Forest – I confirmed this with his agent. Two, more importantly, I implied that I had seen him at Wake. I did not – I have never seen him swing a metal bat, and only saw him on the Cape as an amateur.
•more to come as I think of things…
I can not offer any comment on whether or not Alan Moore’s Watchmen
I can, however, say that as novels, graphic or otherwise, go, it sucks.
Watchmen is a thinly drawn (hah!) paranoid agenda-driven short story, made novel-length by the inclusion of pretty pictures, which, by the way, take the place of the descriptive prose that makes the written novel an art form. There is no character development. The plot is linear, with characters’ stories provided for background, but they neither show changes in any of the characters nor are they remotely interesting as subplots. The story rests on a base of anachronisms, both historical ones (the Soviet Union was already in the throes of an irreversible economic collapse when the book was written) and political ones (nuclear power is mentioned in passing as a major environmental threat). And the whole thing was just beyond boring.
Even when the book got a little interesting in the final two chapters, Moore screwed up his writing. You’re telling me that of the four people in the room in Antarctica in the final chapter, not one of them realizes that the artificial peace is strictly temporary, or at least argues that it is? The smartest man in the world thinks war is over, forever, unless the event that triggers the peace is repeated at unpredictable intervals? If he’s the smartest man in the world, we really are a race of orangutans with safety razors.
I always felt that the TIME book critics added Watchmen to their top 100 novels list as a token entry, as if they felt the need to put one graphic novel on there to head off criticism that they had ignored this burgeoning genre, but reading the book confirmed my suspicions. And really, this was a more deserving entry than Cry the Beloved Country
There is simply no comparison to the thematic and textural depth provided by a traditional novel and the superficial treatment inherent in the graphic form. And, since everyone seems to think that Watchmen is the genre’s peak, I think I can safely ignore graphic novels from here on out.
Chat today at 1 pm.
Two emails today:
(228) keith law sucks! 2008-01-30 12:33:00.0
not my favorite.
I’m crushed, personally.
(232) Ben (Mankato) 2008-01-30 19:52:00.0
Just FYI, the concept of Insider sucks. ESPN needs to stop charging to read articles, stop choking the TV channels with college basketball/football, and start caring about hockey. That along with all the pop-ups on this damn site disgust me enough to leave in favor of mlb.com, nhl.com, etc etc. Have a nice life.
I understand why people don’t like Insider – not many sites charge for content, and in the mainstream sports world, I think ESPN is the only one – but I’m not sure why Ben thinks I have any influence whatsoever on any of the things that are pissing him off. I just works here.
Feel free to post your comments/questions below regarding the Santana deal, since my ESPN column’s Conversation has been, um, overrun.
Meanwhile, my ESPN mailbag has been filling up. Three people wrote to say that Walter Johnson is the best pitcher in franchise history – technically true, but I don’t see that as a practical way of looking at the question, and I wasn’t using “franchise” in a business sense, but in a city/nickname sense. Several others wrote to say that Roberto Clemente was the best Rule 5 pick ever; he has Santana on career value, but Santana was the best pitcher in the American League for about a four-year stretch, and that peak crushes Clemente. One guy wrote in to argue both points and screwed up his own email address.
EDIT: One other point worth mentioning on the Rule 5 draft. In Clemente’s day, acquiring a player via the Rule 5 draft meant acquiring him for life, since there was no free agency and the reserve clause was treated as a perpetually renewing form of indentured servitude. Now, of course, if you acquire a player via the Rule 5, you only get his rights until he earns enough service time to become a free agent. So the return Clemente gave the Pirates will never be matched because the system doesn’t allow it. Adjusting for that context, the Santana pick is clearly the better return.
And then there’s this from a Twins fan:
(217) Paddy Boston 2008-01-30 07:43:00.0
Jack Morris, Jack Morris, Jack Morris. Johan Santana is not the best pitcher in Twins history.
Oooh-kay.
I’ll be on ESPN Radio (the national feed) at 9 pm tonight to discuss the Santana deal. My writeup should be on the site shortly thereafter.
UPDATE: I also recorded a bit with Jason Smith for AllNight, although I’m not sure what time it will air. It’s often available next day as a podcast.
Sweet!
(214) keith law’s arch enemy 2008-01-28 14:49:00.0
keith law is biased comments are really annoying. I dont understand how you still have a job, I guess its because ESPN is east coast biased. You have no eye for talent or you have no idea what you’re talking about half of the time.
Best part? I haven’t written anything for the site in ten days, making this critic slow AND stupid!
The New York Times ran a scare piece earlier this week about high mercury levels in bluefin tuna found in NYC restaurants, focusing on sushi joints. Mercury in seafood is a significant environmental issue, no doubt, but TIME has an interesting interview with Dr. Dariush Mozaffarian, assistant professor of medicine and epidemiology at Harvard Medical School and the Harvard School of Public Health, who argues that the health benefits of eating the fish noted for higher levels of mercury outweigh the risk (to adults) of mercury exposure. He also says that varying the fish in your diet limits your risk of negative effects from mercury, and points out that the studies on cardiovascular damage from mercury have not produced consistent results. The best news: Eat all the salmon you want, as it’s high in omega-3 fatty acids and low in mercury. That’s my favorite type of sushi, so I’ll place a double order the next time I’m out for raw fish.
I was cautiously excited to see The Simpsons Movie
Didn’t happen.
I understand I’m in the minority on this one, but I didn’t find the movie to be all that funny. Early Simpsons episodes were packed with jokes, and often had a strong bit of social commentary. The movie felt like it had the same number of jokes – funny ones, that is – and degree of social commentary that you’d find in a 22-minute episode, spread out over 78 minutes. (I know the listed run time is 87 minutes, but that includes the credits, which had a few Easter eggs … but still, they’re credits. They don’t freaking count in the run time.) The humor was inconsistent, so I laughed hard a handful of times, although I had only one moment where I had to pause it (Ralph Wiggum’s sole line in the film), but it wasn’t as relentless as it should have been, and too much of what was funny was easy physical comedy – easy because you can draw a cartoon character hitting himself in the eye with the claw end of a hammer, but good luck getting an actor to do that on film.
The social commentary was just as disappointing as the humor. The target is the current Administration, but the line is dated – Cheney’s running the show, the government is incompetent, Halliburton, etc. In 2002 or 2003, it would have been funny. Now, we’ve heard these jokes for years, and they’re stale. And some of them are so incredibly forced that it’s painful to watch. When a government robot overhears Lisa saying that they’re fugitives, the scene cuts to a giant NSA room of agents listening in on private conversations. The agent listening to the Simpsons’ conversation jumps up and shouts, “The government actually found someone we’re looking for! YEAH, BABY, YEAH!” There was a good joke in there somewhere, but that wasn’t it. Besides, the government found Abu Musab al-Zarqawi and dropped a bomb on his head while this movie was in production; I’d say that counts as finding someone they were looking for.
The bar for animated movies now is quite high. Pixar has churned out one brilliant movie after another based on strong writing, but the plot of this film was thin (of course, the show’s the same way) and the snarking missed its mark. The first two Shrek movies were dense with jokes (“Catnip.” “That’s … not mine.”) in a way that The Simpsons Movie wasn’t. And the fact that two of the funniest bits in this movie were in the commercial – the Spider-pig segment, and the ten-thousand-tough-guys rant – didn’t help matters either. If this is one of the funniest movies of 2007, we have let our standards for funny slip, because there just wasn’t enough of the funny in The Simpsons Movie, and there wasn’t enough of the other stuff to balance it out.
…okay, not really. But it could be.
OK, looks like I need to clarify something. Andrew Johnson at his Defensive Indifference blog accused me of dropping an unsubstantiated allegation that Vicente Padilla has a drinking problem in my chat yesterday. I just want to point out that Padilla’s addiction to alcohol is no secret; he was driving drunk in Nicaragua two years ago with a friend in the passenger’s seat, got in an accident, and caused his friend’s death. Here’s an article from a Nicaraguan newspaper that says that he was drunk at the time of the accident and driving over 150 km/hour, and implies that the whole incident was smoothed over by local police. He was also arrested in Dallas in 2006 on suspicion of DUI. Now, on top of that, I’ve talked to plenty of people in baseball who’ve confirmed that Padilla has a problem, but that seems like icing on this cake. If you drive drunk and kill your friend, and yet get behind the wheel drunk again a few months later, isn’t that the very definition of a drinking problem?