In extra innings…

…you don’t actually have to tag a runner for him to be called out.

It’s a new rule. You just haven’t heard about it before.

The Next Food Network Star, episode 7.

Less to say on this week’s episode because their decision was pretty defensible. They sent home the one contestant who went 0-2 in this week’s challenge.

One thing I don’t quite get about their criticisms of Kelsey was the bit about her mentioning culinary school. It is more or less the sum total of her culinary experience. If she’d worked at Le Cirque, she’d probably mention it often; would they ding her for that in the same way?

I loved the way Aaron’s pork dish looked and want to try to reconstruct that honey-chipotle glaze. I tend to eschew honey in cooking because its sweetness is overpowering, but with spice and smoke it might be tamed.

And I still can not imagine watching a half hour of Lisa. I feel like they’re toying with her – there’s no chance they’d give her a show. I hope.

TV today.

I’ll be on Outside the Lines today with Tim Kurkjian at 3:30 EDT, then ESPNEWS with Jerry Crasnick at 4:10 pm EDT. I’m also taping brief segments for Pregame and for BBTN to use later this evening.

The Counterfeiters.

I can’t say that I fully got the point of André Gide’s The Counterfeiters (#60, Novel 100). It’s interesting in a way as an early attempt at what we would now call metafiction, with mentions of a novel within the novel, and with the fictional author’s journals providing large chunks of the real novel’s narrative. But the story itself never grabbed me.

The novel’s overarching theme seems to be the decline of morality in post-World War I France, although how Gide could kvetch about morality is beyond me. The story lacks a single focus – Gide himself said his story was more like an ellipse, with two foci, than a circle with a single center – but generally revolves around Bernard Profitendieu, the illegitimate son of a judge who sets off on a search for identity, and Edouard, the frustrated novelist inside the book who ends up connected with Bernard through his own nephew Olivier, and who opens the door into a second plot revolving around a depressed old man who wants his grandson retrieved from his home in Poland. Neither of the storylines is particularly interesting, and the most interesting one, around the dissolute young boys who pass counterfeit coins (giving the novel its title), is given very short shrift until a sudden climax at the novel’s very end.

One thing that kept occurring to me is that Gide, generally classified as a homosexual but perhaps better described as a pederast, had little grasp of adult romantic relationships, especially those between men and women. Nearly every interaction among the various heterosexual couples or pairs in the book rang false for me, while the allusions to gay couplings mostly went over my head, except for the few times Edouard was a little less coy about his liaisons. Gide’s discomfort or unfamiliarity with normal adult relations kept me at arm’s length from most of the plot.

I also found some of the translations to be odd, resulting in awkward English phrasings that probably don’t reflect the actual tone of the French original.

Anyway, more comment seems superfluous since I didn’t care for the book and it doesn’t seem to be a commonly-read tome. Next up: Jhumpa Lahiri’s Pulitzer Prize-winning collection of short stories, Interpreter of Maladies . And yes, after that, Pale Fire.

Chat today.

1 pm chat today over at the Four-Letter.

Also, I’m scheduled to be on ESPN St. Louis with Jeff Gordon and Jeff Vernetti on Friday at 12:30 pm CDT to talk All-Stars (and, I assume, Ryan Ludwick). And I’ll be on ESPNEWS Friday afternoon at 4:10 pm EDT as part of the “Insiders” segment.

Links for today.

Good stuff I’ve found on teh Interwebs today:

  • Joe Sheehan’s take on the Sabathia deal. Free content, unusual for a Joe article, and very good stuff, usual for a Joe article.
  • J.C. Bradbury notices that Jeff Francoeur’s worst quotes are missing from the AJC’s Web site. I’m with Bradbury, by the way: “Frenchy” needs to shut his mouth until his OBP is no longer subterranean.
  • Revisionist history from Chuck Lamar.
  • The Big Lead weighs in (again) on the move of the Sonics franchise to Oklahoma City. I have never understood why this is a big story. It’s a business. The Sonics’ owners felt that they could make more money by moving the team. That’s the end of the story, isn’t it? If there’s something interesting here, it’s that the people of Seattle had the balls to say no to a pro sports franchise that tried to blackmail them into building them a publicly-funded stadium. Good for them. Yes, they lost their team, but the price of keeping the team was too high.
  • The Next Food Network Star, episode 6.

    Disappointing outcome, as I thought Shane had a lot of potential. Ultimately, he was dinged for lack of life experience – although they never explained how that specifically makes him an inferior option for a show host – and for not working well with his assigned Girl Scout, also a silly criterion. Shane did sink himself with his answer about why he is obsessed with French cuisine. Don’t say you love the French life if you’ve never set foot in France. At best, it comes across as young, and at worst, fake.

    • Good to see Adam finally nail the food. He was a complete natural on the set, more than any other contestant. Aaron’s flour on the cheek move and then play to the camera was pretty brilliant too.
    • Lisa … I can’t tell you how surprised I was that she advanced. The show’s producers wrecked her reputation by showing her in full-on B. Otch mode with Kelsey (refusing to answer a basic question from Kelsey about whether or not to remove the sausage casings), and then she froze up completely on air with RaeRay. Oh, and her dish wasn’t tailored in any way to a child’s palate. I’m not clear on what she did right this week that got her (effectively) third place. I also can’t imagine watching a half-hour of her smarm, but that’s another story.
    • Back to the part where she froze up, I’ve said this before but it bears repeating: You can’t think on camera. You have to know what you’re going to say before you start talking, and then once you begin talking, you finish your original thought and wrap. Thinking about what you’re saying – or, worse, what you just said – is a potentially fatal error. Lisa compounded this by continuing to think about her performance while the clock was ticking. What we’ve seen of her the last few weeks wouldn’t work on television, even if it’s taped.
    • Whether or not I could stand a half-hour of Kelsey’s perkiness is another question, but I thought the judges were unduly harsh on her. They told her to be more authoritative. She was bossy. They dinged her for it. Well, she did what you told her to do, guys. If that means she’s not right for the Food Network, then just tell her and move on, but stop killing her (or anyone else, for that matter) for listening to your criticisms.

    Unrelated note/question: America’s Test Kitchen’s most recent episode included a review of safety can openers, and their winner was this $35 can opener from Rösle. I’m curious whether anyone has it or has seen it. It seems like a mint to pay for a can opener, even a good one.

    And if you did see that episode, did you notice how the onion that Bridget was dicing slid all over the cutting board while she was making horizontal cuts in it? Yeah. That’s why the three-cut method is stupid and dangerous. Stick with Alton’s method: radial cuts all around the onion half (from cut end to bulb top), rotate 90 degrees, then cut straight down for a pretty even and much safer dice.

    The Mailbag of Malcontent, vol. 9.

    It’s been a while since we did some ridiculous reader emails, but I figured yesterday’s column on the All-Star rosters would generate a few, since it’s always a controversial topic. Sadly, I haven’t gotten any particularly virulent or poorly-written ones, but I did get two that caught my eye. The first is from Nick, who didn’t provide an email address:

    How could you say Jason Varitek doesn’t deserve to be in the all star game? Baseball is played on both sides of the field and regardless of his lack of batting, Varitek might be the best pitch caller in the game today. Don’t forget he was the one who caught Lester’s no hitter and has done this more than once. He was voted in by the players, that should tell you something.

    It does tell me something, but not what Nick seems to be hearing.

    I’m really stunned/amused by the no-hitters argument for Varitek. Has anyone ever pushed catching no-hitters as a skill, or evidence of a specific skill for the catcher? And is that not evidence that you’re scraping for something if you have to reach like that because the player’s offensive performance has been so bad?

    But the surprise email was this one, from “scott,” apparently a student at an Ivy League school, about my Sabathia reaction piece:

    Keith, CC won the Cy Young last year, remember that? NO KIDDING that he’s one of the best pitchers, if not the best, in the National League. Your last few columns have shown a complete lack of baseball knowledge.

    Aren’t you all bowled over by scott’s baseball knowledge? Wow. I sure am. He knows who won the Cy Young Award last year!

    (The ESPN Conversation on the Sabathia article has been a good one, so if you have questions about that deal, please post them there.)

    UPDATE: We have a winner! Bob from Kansas City writes:

    you my friend are the most uneducated baseball “expert” I have ever seen. Joakim Soria is the “token” Royal on the All Star team? You are an idiot. Do some research and you’ll find that he is pretty much the most automatic closer in baseball today. Ask batters around the American League what they think of Mr. Soria. You and your east coast bias make all of us in the midwest sick. Learn how to do some research before writing this ridiculous garbage.

    Awesome. I’m an idiot, even though Bob doesn’t understand the “token” term. Good times!

    Media today.

    TV today at 3:40 pm EDT on ESPNEWS.

    I’m tentatively scheduled to appear via phone on Sports Time Ohio at 5:05 pm.

    Radio, all times local:

    • ESPN 1050 AM in New York at 11:10 am.
    • Team 1380 in St. Louis at 4:20 pm.
    • ESPN 1070 in Madison, Wisconsin, at 4:40 pm.
    • ESPN Radio (national) at 6 pm EDT.
    • ESPN 1620 AM (KOZN) in Omaha at 5:17 pm. Cancelled, at 5:16.
    • WBAL 1090 AM in Baltimore at 7 pm.
    • ESPN 1080 the Fan in Portland, Oregon, at 5:30 pm.
    • ESPN 1000 in Chicago at around 9:25 pm.

    I’ll update that list if anything more comes in today.

    Aguas frescas.

    Great article in the LA Times on aguas frescas and where in LA to find them.

    I’m a huge fan of agua fresca – blended fruit that’s mixed with sugar and water and strained – and gorge on them at Phoenix Ranch Market every time I’m in Arizona. If anyone has tried any of the suggested places, let me know; I’d bet on the Vallarta Supermarkets serving the best ones of all the places on the Times‘ list, since it seems like some of the other places (like the Hungry Cat) are more interested in being trendy than being authentic.

    EDIT: Eh, why not.

    Watermelon agua fresca

    2 cups cubed watermelon plus any juices that have seeped out
    1 Tbsp simple syrup or 1 tsp agave nectar
    1/4-1/2 cup water

    Puree the watermelon with the juices. Strain through a medium-meshed strainer to remove the solids. Combine with the sweetener and water and pour over ice. Drink immediately. A quick squeeze of lime juice is optional.