Jasper Fforde was kind enough to appear as a guest on The Keith Law Show last month, and I asked him a question – of which I’d warned him in advance – about what books he would include in a class on comic novels. It was inspired by my favorite class in college, “Comedy and the Novel,” which introduced me to at least three of my all-time favorite novels: Jacques the Fatalist, If on a winter’s night a traveler…, and my favorite novel ever written, The Master & Margarita.
One of Fforde’s answers was Mil Millingham’s Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About, and having read it, I can see why Fforde recommended it – it shares much of his style of humor, appreciation of the absurd, and derisive attitude towards all things bureaucratic. The book alternates between two parallel threads: The narrator, Pel, arguing with his girlfriend, and losing; and Pel’s day job at the library of the local university, where all sorts of shenanigans are taking place, including open corruption, the construction of a new building over what might be a graveyard, and not very much librarying.
Pel’s arguments with his girlfriend, an attractive German blonde named Ursula with a personality that might be described as slightly vampiric, are by far the funnier half of the book. While Millingham is certainly not showing Ursula’s best side, he doesn’t paint her as a witch, or a permanently unreasonable person, or one of those, “women, am right?” women. She’s more strong-willed, occasionally unreasonable, but less unreasonable than Pel is, and if anything, he comes off worse – he’s not going to die of overexertion, and he seems to step right into it every time one of those arguments goes on for more than a line or two. She’s just right more often than he is, and his narrative attempts to make her seem the unreasonable one reflect more on him. They have two young sons, who act as boys that age do, and whose antics will probably be hilarious to those of you with kids and mildly amusing to those without.
The stuff at work is a lot less compelling, and gets to the fundamental problem with Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About, which is that the story here is as thin as rice paper. Pel’s former boss has left the country for parts unknown, and it appears he has absconded with Someone Else’s Money, which might itself be enough raw material for a cracking comedy of errors, but Millingham dispenses with that, mining it for some racially insensitive humor and eventually just moving along to another story. Pel also sexually harasses a colleague, falls into a giant hole, says the absolute wrong thing to some extremely annoying journalists (who would have been shot, or at least pushed into that giant hole, in the United States), and repeatedly fails to do his job – which seems to barely meet the requirements of a job, except that he gets paid for what little he is asked to do (which he doesn’t do anyway). It seems like Millingham had the idea of depicting a highly dysfunctional workplace, which has been done before but I’ll allow it, and then populating it with idiots and loonies, which has also been done before but will often make me laugh anyway, but it never adds up to anything here. Even when he catches one of his antagonists doing something he shouldn’t be doing, it’s nowhere near as funny as it should be, because those various colleagues of his are not that well-drawn, so when they fail or flop, it’s less funny than he might have planned.
The Ursula stuff, however, is the goods. I could have read a whole book just about the two of them arguing over matters large (they move to another house, and it goes as well as you’d expect) and small (Ursula scares off the gutter cleaners by speaking German to them, which culminates in a riotous high-speed car chase). That’s the sort of book that doesn’t need much plot, and the ending Millingham gives this novel would have worked better if the entire thing had been just about the two of them. So I’d still recommend Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About if you’re in the mood for a laugh, as long as you keep your expectations for plot on the lower side.
Next up: Daniel Kahneman’s new book Noise: A Flaw in Human Judgment.