Catching up on my recent work elsewhere:
- Friday’s Klawchat.
- A new boardgame review for Paste, this time on the new Days of Wonder game Relic Runners.
- My analysis of the Trumbo-Skaggs-Eaton trade.
- My analysis of the Brett Anderson trade.
- My thoughts on the two Mariners’ moves from Wednesday.
- My analysis of the Bartolo Colon signing.
- A quick note on the two Pirates’ moves.
- And my thoughts on why Roy Halladay isn’t a slam-dunk Hall of Famer.
I traveled home from Orlando on Thursday, was catching up on life on Friday (although I did at least watch this show), and then spent Saturday being a dad, from getting the Christmas tree to going to see Frozen with my wife and daughter. Je ne regrette rien … but I’m a little sorry this post is late.
* Quickfire: Chef Hubert Keller is there … in a challenge involving Dunkin Donuts coffee, which I’m hoping these chefs think and realize is total shit. Does Keller really drink this garbage? He should be furious that they brought him in to watch the chefs cook with coffee I wouldn’t feed to a goat. The winner gets immunity and $10K, while Stephie Downer gets all mopey about owning “old, broken, sad-looking stuff.” That girl could see death in a double rainbow.
* So the actual challenge involves using that brown swill as a key ingredient in a dish, with the implication that it would be better to go savory, although that didn’t matter in the judging.
* Nick is pairing sockeye salmon with a coffee cardamom sauce, emphasizing the balance between the fatty fish and the sharp coffee (and cardamom) flavors. Balance will be irrelevant when Chef Sensitive Ponytail chokes to death on a pinbone.
* Brian is making a risotto with coffee and andouille sausage, alluding to the Top Chef risotto curse. I’m surprised he doesn’t mention redeye gravy, which is a Southern comfort-food staple where you make a white sausage gravy and add coffee to it. I’ve never had it because what kind of lunatic puts coffee in sausage gravy? Also, maybe there’s a better way to describe taking a risk than saying you want your balls out there swinging. It’s just not a great visual.
* Interesting side note: Nina predicts that Nick will reach the finale. Granted, that’s not huge news at this point, but we don’t generally hear a lot of praise like that on Top Chef.
* The food: Travis also serves sockeye, this one with a coffee ponzu sauce, coffee roasted mushrooms, and hazelnut oil; Carrie does a coffee custard with candied coffee beans and cocoa nibs; Brian serves that risotto with sugar snap peas; Carlos makes a coffee macadamia sponge cake (in just thirty minutes) with a coffee/mascarpone sauce and peaches; Nick makes a roasted sockeye with a hazelnut-coffee-caramel-white chocolate whatever and hon shimeji mushrooms, earning funny looks from the judges and a “there’s a lot of coffee in here” non-compliment from Padma.
* Shirley serves a coffee-crusted tenderloin with a double-blanched garlic puree that symbolizes the cream to the steak rub’s coffee; Stephanie, who got all woe-is-me again during the cooking, does a sweet potato and goat cheese coffee crepe with ham and bacon coffee jam. I don’t think we saw Nina or Justin in this.
* The bottom two were Brian, whose risotto didn’t have much coffee flavor, and Nick, whose coffee-white chocolate paste had an unpleasant texture. Ho hum. The top three were Shirley, Carrie, and Stephanie, with Stephanie and Shirley both getting “surprising” from Keller. The winner, the chef who showed the most creativity was … Shirley? Steak rubbed with coffee is more creative than coffee crepes with sweet potato and goat cheese and bacon-coffee jam? Did we miss something in the dish descriptions? Shirley’s dish may have been delicious, but anyone in America who’s grilled meat with a dry rub on it (worded to avoid a #phrasing tag) has tried coffee in the rub, right?
* Elimination challenge: The guest judge is actor Anthony Mackie, whom I’ve never heard of and don’t recognize. He was in 8 Mile, which I’ve seen, and in two Best Picture winners that I haven’t seen; he also narrated an ESPN 30 for 30 doc, “The Best That Never Was
* Justin’s dish is inspired by squirrel he and his brothers used to hunt, but I guess he couldn’t get organic squirrel at Whole Foods.
* Carrie talks about going asparagus hunting with her mom. I didn’t realize asparagus was that hard to catch.
* Nick is making his daughter’s favorite dish, ricotta gnocchi, which appears to be on his menu at Laurel now.
* Carlos is making cochinita pibil in the pressure cooker, as the dish typically takes about six hours. I thought it was generally roasted in a banana leaf, although now I realize I don’t know if that’s to add flavor or just as a vessel to allow it to retain heat.
* Shirley is kneading dough and dicing meat with a cleaver, shaking the entire table. Stephanie is silently plotting to murder Shirley in her sleep that night.
* Travis is making biscuits without buttermilk, which surprises Tom. I’m with Travis for once; I don’t like the flavor of cultured buttermilk, and usually use baking powder instead of baking soda, or use cream of tartar (an acid found on the inside of wine casks) to balance the base of baking soda.
* Brian’s personal story is a legitimate downer: his dad suffered three major strokes a few years ago which left him not talking much. Some of these chefs cry at the drop of a hat; Brian’s dad’s fate is something we all fear for our parents and for ourselves.
* Back at the house, there’s a loose discussion of what three items you’d choose if you had to eat just those things for the rest of your life, which leads Justin to act like a clubhouse lawyer again. There’s an inability to take responsibility with him that grates on me, probably because I was like that when I was younger. Anyway, pizza, ice cream, waffles, bacon, nectarines, bread … don’t make me stop at three.
* Nick gets choked up talking about missing formative years with his kids because he’s always at work. This is why I think people who ask me why I would choose the media over a team job, or assume I’m lying when I say that’s my choice, are stupid. If you choose to prioritize work over family, I won’t judge you, but don’t judge me for going the other way. I’ve been at just about every birthday, holiday, school event, and extracurricular event I needed to be at. I take my daughter to school almost every day when I’m home, I pick her up almost every day when I’m home, we cook together, we read together, and we do all kinds of things together. I know I’m not the perfect father, but I will never have to look at a camera like Nick did and say that I regret spending too little time with my daughter.
* There’s no open grill at Dookie Chase, so Brian has to use the grill pan instead and rely on the marinade (he’s making Korean-marinaded New York strip steaks) for flavor.
* Travis is staring at his biscuits as they’re in the oven, saying how he’s only got one shot, do not miss your chance … sorry. They look good but are close to raw inside. I assumed he cut the butter in too much, although later it emerges that the kitchen was so warm that the butter got too soft before hitting the oven. He ends up splitting the biscuits and pouring gravy over them to try to hide the error, because that trick always works.
* And we’re plating … Carlos’ cochinita pibil comes with black beans and an orange pico de gallo; Brian does the steak and potatoes Korean-style, a NY strip with a potato salad; Travis’ biscuits come with a homemade maple-sage sausage gravy and sour plum jam.
* Everyone notices that the biscuit is raw, so we can already put Travis in the bottom three. They all love the gravy and Mackie likes the gravy and jam together. I could see that – a sour/sweet note with the salty/sweet sausage. Carlos’ is a big hit right down to the fresh corn tortillas. Brian’s has no charcoal flavor and might be a touch too sweet.
* We see Nick losing focus in the kitchen, worrying he won’t plate everything, crying over the sink because … he misses his family? Right then, five minutes before serving? I’m calling BS on this one. That had to be shown out of sequence, right?
* Nick’s dish is ricotta gnudi with crispy pancetta, peas, lemon, and “a lot of” Parmiggiano-Reggiano; Shirley serves Bejing hand-cut noodles, fermented bean and pork sauce, and pickled radishes; Stephanie serves focaccia and mussels with spicy pickled peppers and tomatoes.
* They adore Nick’s pasta, and the pancetta is “nice and crispy.” Anthony says, “I wish I was his daughter!” All righty then. Emeril likes Shirley’s noodles after he added the vinegar from radishes to the pasta itself. Stephanie’s mussels surprise everyone – they usually come with a lot of garlic (Leah pointed this out), while Tom says he’s never had pickled peppers with mussels but loves the combination.
* Justin serves Louisiana rice and chicken thigh gravy, pickled mirliton, and jalapeñ Carrie serves creamed asparagus over (homemade) toast with a poached egg; Nina does, of course, a curried chicken with fried bakes, a very basic fried-dough concoction from Trinidad that uses flour, water, salt, and baking powder.
* Leah’s son says he could “go to town on” Carrie’s dish. Nina’s is good, but Padma and Leah want rice rather than avocado – I don’t think fried bread and curry is a great combination, as you’re putting heavy with heavy. Justin’s is a touch dry but otherwise good. Leah’s daughter says of all nine dishes that they had “nothing outrageously negative to say about anything.”
* Judges’ table: The stories were great and the food was delicious. Tom singles out Carlos and Nina. Padma cites Stephanie, who gets big props for serving pickled peppers with mussels. Anthony enjoyed Carrie’s. Brian gets points for the jus on his steak, Nicholas for his gnocchi/gnudi, and Shirley for her noodles. And that’s all the chefs get before they’re called in.
* Top three: Nick, Stephanie, and Carlos. Padma is telegraphing it as they walk in, as she can barely contain her smile. Nick’s dish, from the sound of it, was perfect; the gnocchi were soft and light, the peas were perfectly cooked, and the pancetta was crispy. Everyone loved Stephanie’s choice to put pickled peppers and tomatoes with mussels as something new and different. Emeril said the mussels were “perfectly, perfectly cooked,” which I’d mock except I use the term “plus-plus” all the time. She also says she smelled every mussel to make sure it was fresh, which is kind of why I don’t usually eat mussels – one bad one can spoil a batch and a weekend. Anthony says Carlos’ was so good he wanted to savor every last bite and held the last bit of tortilla till the last bite off the plate. Nick wins. Anthony says the dish “made me happy as a little girl!”
* Big cheers for Nick when he returns to the stew room, especially from Shirley and Nina. Ladies love a devoted father. Also, have I mentioned lately how important my daughter is to me?
* Bottom three: Travis, Brian, and Justin. It’s not Justin – that’s obvious – and at this point I’d be shocked if it wasn’t Travis going home. Padma admits “we had to move down to the finer nuances of the dishes” to make their decisions. Brian admits he improvised, knowing he was missing an essential element without the flavor of the grill. Tom says nothing was wrong, but it didn’t have the flavor you’re looking for in a grilled steak. Travis says he knew it was too warm in the kitchen to cut the butter into the biscuits but the dish “was close to home.” That’s the one time I could see the judges giving someone a pass on a bad decision – Travis was sticking to the guidelines for the challenge. Justin is getting defensive yet again when questioned about the lack of gravy on the rice. He shouldn’t go home for this, given what we’ve seen, but it would be nice to hear him say, “yes, Chef, I made a mistake,” and then maybe learn from it next time around.
* Tom says that for biscuits, the butter needs to be ice-cold and still in chunks. Anthony says he’s surprised Travis sent them out, so perhaps he’s a fan of the show too.
* Travis goes home. Padma makes her sad face. He was the only one who made a real mistake – there were nine chefs, and eight dishes that were executed correctly. On his way out, he says in the confessional that he can be totally open about who he is now. Good for him. There’s no reason on earth he should have to hide an essential part of his identity.
* Last Chance Kitchen: Louis wins. I found this one of the least interesting episodes of LCK so far.
* Rankings: Nick, Shirley, Carrie, Nina, Justin, Carlos, Stephanie, Brian. I feel strongly about the top three at this point – Nina’s churning out the same kind of food again and again, Justin can’t make in-game adjustments, and Carlos has been stronger lately but uneven overall. Brian seems like the only one who has zero chance (or close to it) to reach the finals.