Yesterday’s Klawchat transcript is up. Top 50 free agents ranking goes up Tuesday.
Before the cooking starts, we get a little up close and personal with Travis, who is in a deep blue funk his brush with elimination on a Vietnamese food challenge because his boyfriend is Vietnamese. We find out that Travis’ mom knows he’s gay, but his dad doesn’t, and he’ll have to tell his father before the show airs. It’s 2013. If your dad can’t handle that you’re gay, that is 100% his problem. Tell him without remorse or apology and move on with your life.
* Quickfire: The stupid Reynolds wrap challenge again. This time, they wrapped the cookware and tools as well as the ingredients. I hope they recycled all that wasted aluminum since God ain’t makin’ any more of it.
* The second twist is that the chefs don’t get to shop for ingredients; they’re divided into two teams and must use all the ingredients chosen by Padma’s and Gail’s moms. Was anyone else shocked to see that Padma’s mom is little? The winning team gets ten grand. Shirley, who appears to have no filter between her brain and her mouth, says it would “suck really bad” if her mom was doing the shopping for this challenge because she’s too slow. In a related story, Shirley is awesome.
* Not factored into the thirty minutes: All the time the chefs have to waste unwrapping the ingredients and hardware. So it’s more like a 20-25 minute challenge.
* Carrie is trying to make a sabayon without a whisk. I can’t even think of a good alternative or makeshift whisk; even if you could fashion one out of foil, it would be too malleable to hold its shape. She probably woke up with enormous biceps on her right arm the next morning. (Sabayon, similar to the Italian dessert zabaglione, is made by whisking egg yolks, often over barely simmering water, until they foam up to the ribbon stage. Sabayon is a savory French sauce, while zabaglione is typically flavored with sugar and the sweet fortified wine Marsala dolce. In the technical jargon of the industry, it is good shit.)
* The results were actually kind of boring, which I think is the result of the chefs having virtually no input into their ingredients other than divvying up the spoils within their team. Team Simmons makes a lamb with a sharp cheesy fonduta, red snapper en papillote, and a compressed burrata with pickled apples, avocadoes, and a balsamic sabayon. Team Lakshmi makes clams poached in fish sauce and served with coconut cream, snapper and branzino en papillote with a mustard vinaigrette, and a kitchen-sink soup with beans, carrots, chilies, fried okra, and a cherry/strawberry chutney.
* Justin, on team Simmons, is shown saying he thinks they have it “in the bag,” so of course team Lakshmi wins. If Top Chef never does a Reynolds wrap challenge again, it would be fine with me.
* Elimination challenge: Guest judge and “superfan” Lea Michele is here. Don’t bother to dress up, Lea. The chefs must split into teams of two and cater a costume party for her. She’s a vegetarian, often vegan but loves cheese (so, not vegan, then). She’s not huge on dessert, likes pasta, pizza, and fried foods, and doesn’t like beets. Nina rolls her eyes so hard at the vegan talk she detaches a retina. “I think that God put animals on this earth to eat.” Well, if He didn’t, it was an awfully convenient coincidence for us.
* Michael says he dressed up as a pregant nun once and “got laid.” I couldn’t hate a human being more than I hated him the moment those words left his mouth. It’s like he felt like we needed to fill the show’s douchebag quote with Jason gone.
* Justin is making beet pasta, even though Lea hates beets. Two thoughts: Does she hate beets, or just bad beets? My wife claims she hates beets, but what she really hates is canned beets or overcooked beets. Fresh roasted beets with goat cheese, or with avocado slices and a citrus vinaigrette? Come on. You can’t beet that.
* We have three arancini (balls of risotto rolled in bread crumbs and fried) dishes going, so you know whoever makes the worst of the trio will be on the bottom – unless you’ve never seen the show before, which clearly some of these chefs haven’t, since risotto is one of the great Top Chef contestant killers.
* Meanwhile, Nick, who has seen the show before, changes his gnocchi to cannoli when he sees Nina also doing gnocchi. This little bit of strategy just lost Mike Matheny.
* Have they always had a wood fired oven in the kitchen? If that’s a permanent fixture, we need some two-day bread-baking challenges.
* Brian and Bene are doing “spooky spa cuisine,” making two salads, even though Lea wants luxurious, “party in your mouth” food. I don’t even understand how Bene is still here at this point. He’s been overmatched nearly every week. And what would a spooky spa entail? Zombie masseurs?
* Nina and Michael spar over who gets to use which cooler. Michael calls her sweetheart and boo-boo and if I were Nina I’d probably clock him with a cast-iron skillet Rapunzel-style.
* Hugh is Prince Charming. Tom Orville is apparently supposed to be Jay Gatsby but really looks like Orville Redenbacher. Padma is a witch doctor, I think. No one came in a food-related costume? Hugh as Julia Child would have been pretty good.
* The dishes: Carrie and Steph serve a charred chicory puree with black garlic mushrooms, and a leek ash “grave” with cauliflower and cheese fonduta. I think we heard the least about this team’s dishes of anyone and I don’t really know if it was good or just okay.
* Patty and Nick went for autumn colors but skipped the spooky bit, with Nick’s butternut squash cannoli with ricotta salata and black garlic reduction (so at least he had the right colors) and Patty’s lemon arancini with smoked mozzarella.
* Brian and Bene’s spastic spa items are a crispy quinoa salad with mushroom espuma and a tomato salad with kale something and I stopped paying attention there. It’s a tomato salad. You barely even have to turn a burner on.
* Nina and Michael serve her ricotta gnocchetti with kale pesto and his yellow arancini with saffron, the latter designed to look a little like eyeballs. His arancini get immediate negative reactions from Lea (who is quite specific with many of her comments) and Tom.
* Travis and Carlos serve Travis’ vegetable “ceviche” with frozen lime segments, creating a little fake-smoke over the dish when he crumbles them on top, and Carlos’ goat cheese fondue with fried zucchini and a lot of chipotles.
* Louis and Shirley serve his “severed thumb,” made of braised quinoa with onions wrapped in phyllo dough, and her “worm salad,” hand cut noodles with daikon radish. They at least win for putting the most thought into the Halloween aspect of the party (which, by the way, was probably filmed in August or so).
* Justin and Sara serve his “blood” pasta with beets and fire roasted green tomatoes and Sara’s “evil eye” arancini with Moroccan tomato chutney. Sara defends her arancini by pointing out that she used non-traditional flavors. Lea moderately approves of Justin’s pasta. I’m guessing they tasted as much like beets as spinach pasta tastes like spinach, which is to say not at all.
* The judging: Patti and Nick were among the best teams, particularly Nick’s dish for incorporating Halloween colors. Sara and Justin fared well for the the flavors of his pasta. Carlos and Travis went spicy and scored highly with Lea and Padma; Travis’ ceviche was good as was Carlos’ fondue, which Tom says is a tricky dish to keep smooth and avoid having it thicken up.
* Nina’s gnocchetti were great, but Michael’s arancini weren’t, a conflict that was pretty much set up from the start of the show. (And is it really a coincidence that those two were paired up, when it’s the only known conflict among two chefs still on the program?) Brian and Bene’s entire plan is called into question – why serve two salads, and why serve salads at all when Lea wanted something more rich or decadent?
* A throwaway thought: When Lea said she’s not big on dessert, that could also mean she’s not big on sweet – but dessert doesn’t have to be sweet, or it can bring a better balance of sweet-salty-sour. I’ve had salted caramel desserts, and black pepper ice cream, to name just two. I know Italian cuisine includes many desserts involving cheese, which might have hit the mark. Dessert can be about texture or flavor contrast rather than just sugar. No one was willing to take that risk.
* Top two teams are Carlos/Travis and Nick/Patty. Padma asks Patty what it’s like to “be on the other side,” a not-subtle reminder that, hey, Patty, you’ve kind of been on the bottom a lot! Carlos and Travis are the joint winners.
* The bottom, unsurprisingly, includes Michael and Nina plus Brian and Bene.
* Travis, back in the stew room, argues that the judges can’t send home someone (Nina) after she made a great dish. He seems to forget that the judges can do whatever they want, even if we don’t think it’s fair. They sent Kristen home in season 10 when no one thought it was fair. They can and will do what they choose. We can’t do much but blog about it.
* Brian and Bene did the opposite of what Lea wanted and showed no ambition, per Tom. Michael’s arancini didn’t pack a wallop in flavor, they were too dry, and the sauce was too sweet. Padma lights into Nina for not tasting his food when they were supposed to be a team. I get that… but I don’t. She can’t tell him to make it better, or differently, if he’s not listening to her (or constantly dismissing her by calling her “sweet cheeks” or whatever). So, should she taste it, try to correct him, and then let him hang himself, just so she has a clear conscience at judges’ table?
* Nina’s dish was great. Michael’s had a lot of problems. Infantile spookiness thing with the stick through the black olive eye. (Hugh) salad boys whiffed. Watery tomato salad underseasoned and overdressed, neither was wow.
* Tom, to Bene: “We’ve seen tomato salad over and over again you’re not going to win anything with that.” I can’t accurately capture the breadth of the disdain in his delivery of that line. If he could have ended it with “… dumbass” he would have.
* Michael’s out. Good riddance to chauvinistic rubbish. Plus he was never on top of any challenges.
* LCK: Make a risotto. At least they get 40 minutes instead of 30, since risotto in 30 would be impossible, I think. Janine flies through the kitchen, gets what she needs, and makes a mixed mushroom risotto with a stock made from soaking dried porcini in chicken stock to rehydrate them and add flavor to the stock. Michael shows zero urgency in the pantry, and his dilatory style bites him when he ends up furiously boiling the risotto to cook it in time, which he claims is how he learned to make it (coughbullshitcough). He also said he couldn’t find any butter in the fridge, even though Janine says there was plenty in there. He’s an excuse-maker as well as a pig, which almost makes it a shame that he’s gone because we could use a villain on the show. Or not. Janine wins in a rout.
* Top three: Carrie, Shirley, Nina, followed by Justin, Stephanie, and Sara. Bottom three is getting more interesting; Bene is still clearly the worst for me, but Patty and Louis both had good showings this week. I’ll stick with those three at the bottom, as none of the other chefs in the middle tier took a step back other than the previously-solid Brian.
As to not liking beets, I think there’s something to some people’s taste buds that don’t taste them the same as the rest of us who like beets do. I know at least one person who can’t stand them, even good ones, she says they taste like dirt to her. Cilantro is another one that a minority of people taste completely differently (they describe it as tasting like dish soap) than the rest of us do.
I don’t get these shows. Cooking is an art. The only contest should be over the quality of the food.
I was glad Michael left too. He didn’t come across as a good chef, was totally fake (good observation by Nina), and generally acted like a dick. The bald fellow last season (his name escapes me) came across as a dick sometimes too, but he had much more charm and personality. Michael was a jerk and a lousy chef. Bene is just a lousy chef. When in doubt, get rid of the jerk.
The bald guy was the European guy Stefan, who was definitely possessed some of the same qualities of Michael except didn’t share Michael’s relative mediocrity at cooking. Definitely had far more charm.
Glad that we’re rid of Malcolm Gladwell’s cousin.
Overall, I thought it was just a boring episode, but some of that is probably due to the lack of meat in the elimination challenge. Stephanie really has to work on her nervousness, as she’s now admitting to getting tense because of other people’s situations. Calm down, girl.
I’m so glad Padma’s whole ‘she didn’t taste his dish’ line of thinking regarding Nina went nowhere. It seemed like the same quasi-BS reasoning that got Kirsten eliminated last year.
I also really enjoyed how the editors hid the worst comments about Michael’s dish from the main show but inserted Tom and Lea saying just how awful it was during LCK, which is almost more amusing than the actual LCK
Good riddance to Michael. I’m sure someone will step up to be annoying in his absence. Early money is on Sara or Travis.
Lea Michelle honestly wasn’t as bad as I thought she would be when I heard she was guest-judging, though I still think it sucks that they give them vegetarian challenges.
Agreed on the vegetarian challenges. For the purposes of this show, it’s too limiting, in my opinion.
@Yinka: I’ve heard that on cilantro, but never on beets. Good to know, actually. I still think my wife needs to try my roasted beets, though.
I kinda disagree that vegetarian challenges are too limiting. Most restaurants nowadays have veg options, and it’s a pretty common dietary restriction. It’s very possible to be creative within that framework, and quite frankly, if someone can’t come up with a creative vegetarian dish, that doesn’t really speak too highly of their vision and ingenuity.
Top Chef has challenges that are FAR worse than vegetarian ones, in my opinion. It has some real world application… not like Reynold wrap.
My wife swears all beets taste like dirt, too. I can’t say I enjoy them, either.
I hear they’re bringing Pee Wee Herman back for another pancake challenge. Can’t wait to find out if he finds the best pancakes he’s ever had again.
I am among those who cannot tolerate cilantro. Raw tomatoes also taste very unpleasant to me, in a similar way.
Keith – are you saying that for this show (Season 11, Episode 5) the vegetarian challenge was too limiting? Adding the vegetarian restriction on top of the ‘scary food’ theme and the fact that it was for a party, so there was also a requirement for quick bite/hors d’ouerves over a composed plate? If so, I agree with that.
If you’re saying that a vegetarian challenge or quickfire for Top Chef is too limiting, I disagree strongly and echo what Sriracha Demon said – I don’t think you can really be a Top Chef in 2013 without being able to prepare a creative and tasty vegetarian dish.
Numerous times on these writeups there have been discussions about chefs who have trouble branching out, whether it is Sarah only cook Italian food, or conversations about one chef only being able to cook ‘Asian’ food (on the show, not your comments) and how that shows their limitations as a chef. Isn’t it much the same if they have issues preparing a dish that doesn’t have the meat or protein at the center?
I was saying for this episode, it’s way too limiting, but even overall on Top Chef it puts an enormous limitation on chefs that, when you’ve still got a dozen left, is going to produce a lot of sameness across the dishes. If they had to go vegetarian, but didn’t have to produce mains, that would leave it pretty open. Once you say vegetarian mains, though, you’re wiping out about 3/4 of the primary protein sources in the kitchen. You can make amazing vegetarian mains, but the potential for creativity is somewhat reduced by those two limitations taken in tandem.
Parma and her mom, the gene pool is an amazing thing
A week late on this: I don’t know if I’ve ever commented on the Dish, but you’re one of my favorite baseball writers, and I’ve found your board game reviews to be very valuable; that said, please don’t tell anyone when or how to come out. I’ve been out since I was 14, and I agree that Travis should probably come out to his dad. He’s on the show and is talking about his sexuality, so obviously he’s ready to, but that doesn’t mean it won’t be an emotionally taxing experience for him. Your response is much more callous and uninformed than I usually see from you. Travis is totally annoying on the show, but you (and I) don’t know anything about his relationship with his father.
@Michael: I didn’t tell anyone when or how to come out. No one should decide not to come out to a family member, friend, or anyone because of concern over that person’s reaction. If Travis’ dad can’t handle his son being gay, that is the dad’s problem, not Travis’. Unless there’s a fear of violence or something along those lines, declining to come out merely gives away the power of self-confidence by validating those others’ emotions or opinions. Accepting yourself, with or without the approbation of family members, is the important part – not whether your Dad says it’s OK.
Keith, I can’t believe you are sticking by that Travis comment. Nobody here disagrees with your moral view of the situation, that Travis has every right to be gay, and that his any disapproval on his dad’s part is his “dad’s problem.” But that does not mean that Travis also values other aspects of his relationship with his dad, that they have wonderful times together, and that commencing this conflict will come at great personal cost to him — even if it is not at all his “fault” in any moral sense. My brother is gay and came out as a teenager to my dad, and I came to learn later of the struggles they had with it. You are substituting your distanced moral/political judgment for the real-world relationship dynamics that these people have to deal with. To say that Travis will be able to just “move on with his life” by dint of Keith Law’s fault allocation, and to imply that not coming out sooner entails some kind of cowardice on his part, is arrogant and tone deaf.
Sorry, I made a grammatical mess of that comment. I meant to say “That does not mean that Travis does NOT value other aspects of his relationship” or, better, “Travis may also value other aspects of his relationship with his dad, enjoy wonderful times with him,” etc.
@Jonathan: Yes, I am sticking by it, and I am confident that I’m right about it, regardless of how much you insult my statement. You cannot define your self-worth by how others view you – and sexual orientation or gender identity are an essential part of self. Allowing others to exercise that power over you is a path toward self-doubt or, worse, self-hatred. And if you can’t come out to a parent, then that parent is exercising that power implicitly, because fear of disapproval is dictating your thoughts and actions.