The dish

Top Chef, S9E16.

This week, no gondolas, no ice blocks, no skiing, just one small gimmick and a lot of actual cooking.

* Sarah is going to get killed again for her comments in the confessionals, and some of that criticism is justified. Saying “this is how it was supposed to be” in reference to these three chefs in the finals is all kinds of wrong – Paul, sure, but I’m of the opinion that Edward was probably one of the three best chefs on the show this season, and that Nyesha was wronged with her early elimination. Winning the World Series doesn’t make you the best team, but it makes you the champions. Getting to the Top Chef final three doesn’t make you one of the three best chefs on the show, but it makes you a finalist. I just can’t buy some kind of predestination aspect to the show, or the idea that this proves that these chefs were the best.

* Then Sarah says of the Quickfire challenge, “Asian food is not my forte, thank god Beverly went home because she would have nailed it.” The red light means the camera’s on, Sarah.

* Quickfire challenge: Cooking with one of three Top Chef Masters contestants (including last season’s winner, Floyd Cardoz), make an Asian influenced dish – but you can’t talk to your teammate, and must trade off in the kitchen every ten minutes, with the experienced chef taking shifts one and three and the current contestants taking shifts two and four. That means the experienced chefs do the concept and most of the mise en place, leaving the contestants wasting time trying to figure out what the big idea was and what’s already been done. Wouldn’t one sentence, or ten seconds of talking, have made this a much more reasonable test of the contestants’ cooking skills rather than their powers of deduction?

* I was surprised to see how easygoing the experienced chefs were – we knew Floyd was like that, but Anita Lo and Takashi Yagihashi were also pretty low-key; other than having strong concepts and hoping their teammates would continue those visions, they seemed to have no qualms about playing second fiddle.

* Paul ends up making a sashimi with mirugai (giant clam) with a yuzu dashi sauce, fried white fish, cucumber, scallions … but adds too much Thai chili at the last moment and blows the dish. I got the strong sense he would have won the challenge (and the $20,000 prize) otherwise. “Ashamed Paul Qui” sounds like a meme waiting to happen.

(Side note: My wife thinks Austin Scarlett of Project Runway deserves his own meme, along the lines of “MEANWHILE … IN JAPAN.” If you’ve seen him on camera, you probably understand.)

* Lindsay probably had the toughest challenge, with Anita coming up with a “scallops three ways” dish that was nowhere near evident to Lindsay after the first switch. The concept was great – reflect three different Asian cuisines on one plate – but it seemed like Anita chose a concept that would work for one chef working start to finish, not for a challenge with three blind handoffs. Lindsay only does two of the three intended ways, and her Chinese sausage overpowers the delicate flavors of the scallop.

* Floyd makes a curry, but Sarah says she’s not comfortable with curry. These two worked together better than the other pairs – it looked like Floyd focused on the curry itself while Sarah went after the proteins, crab and a rice flour-dredged cod. Emeril thought their dish needed more acid, but Padma loved the amaranth greens, which apparently grow quite well in warm climates and reach harvest size in 30 days, so I need to track down some seeds. Anyway, Sarah wins, giving Floyd the quickfire win that escaped him during his Top Chef Masters run (even though he won the whole season).

* Elimination challenge: For 150 guests at a “fire and ice” cocktail party, each chef must make one dish and one cocktail, and the dish must contain at least one hot and one cold element. They do get bartenders to assemble the drinks, so the chefs only have to make sure the elements are ready.

* These chefs are so damn collegial in the kitchen it almost made me want Heather back. Almost.

* Sarah goes with a baked cannelloni, made from scratch (which she says is crazy, but really, that’s the kind of thing you have to do to win on this show), with a spiced sformato (a thick Italian custard) that’s frozen on an “anti-griddle” so it will melt and form a cold sauce over the warm pasta. Her cocktail contains gin, kumquats, and mango, which sounds great if you’re sitting on a Caribbean beach but doesn’t really sound like it works with pasta.

* By the way, is an anti-griddle powered by anti-matter? If an anti-griddle hits a griddle, will the universe collapse upon itself? I heard “anti-griddle” and felt like Lady Violet did when Downton got its first telephone. Hugh Acheson said in his blog post that no one touched the anti-griddle during his time on Top Chef Masters, and Sarah nearly cost herself a spot in the finals because the machine over-froze her sformato.

* Paul makes a lobster stock, tearing claws off lobsters before killing them – I hear he also likes to twist the heads off live puppies, just for practice – using it as the base for a very elaborate dish with king crab, lemon ‘snow,’ and a Pan Am cocktail with kaffir lime, palm sugar, and rum.

* Lindsay, who says she’d pull a Ronnie Lott if she sliced her finger off while cooking today, goes with a halibut over a “fiery” celery root remoulade, tomato broth, tomato ice, and raw kale. I’m not sure if the kale was supposed to be raw, but I find raw kale totally inedible. Steam it, wilt it, saute it with cured pork, bake it, whatever, it’s all good, but raw kale has a very fibrous texture that I find really unpleasant.

* Judges’ table: Sarah gets dinged for the frozen mousse, and for the cocktail not working with the dish. The judges love her pasta, the cocktail on its own, and her overall ambition. Paul had some temperature issues, and Tom goes on about the arugula garnish, although I thought Paul’s comment (he wanted the fresh, peppery flavor) made sense, at least from a concept standpoint. Otherwise, he seemed to nail his dish in every way, yet again. Lindsay cooks her fish perfectly, but the raw kale costs her points and the dish overall was kind of boring (mostly per Tom).

* Tom tweeted right after the show about the arugula comments:

* Paul wins the challenge, Lindsay goes home. It fits the general theme of Top Chef: You win for ambition, and you lose for failures in execution. Lindsay didn’t execute all that well (the raw kale, the supporting ingredients overpowering the flavor of the fish), and she showed the least ambition. Sarah failed to execute one major element, but her dish was much more ambitious than Lindsay’s.

* Sarah’s parting comment, that she knew it would be her versus Paul in the finals, will probably get even more criticism than her opening shots, but this one I understand: If you’re going through this competition, you envision yourself in the finals, and in this case, how could she envision herself facing anyone but Paul? Perhaps it’s not something you say on camera, but it is entirely logical to think that way.

* So, ignoring the fact that this challenge already happened several weeks ago, how dominant a favorite would Paul be against Sarah in the finals? It takes so little to cost a chef a challenge at this late stage that I hate to say he’s more than a 60/40 favorite, even though he’s owned most of this season.

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