Top Chef, S9E14.

The top 100 is up. Here’s the first part of the list (it’s spread over four pages), the top ten prospects for each organization, and ten eleven prospects who just missed.

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Fortunately, this week’s episode of Top Chef did not include any has-been comedians, just real cooking for some pretty elite guests.

* Last Chance Kitchen winner: It’s Bev! You knew it would be Bev. I’m sure her food was great, but forgive me my suspicion of anything that reeks of narrative. Sarah is still hepped up on bitchy pills, ripping Bev for being “off in Bevland” and saying she doesn’t want a ticket there. Apparently the food in Bevland is pretty good, Sarah. You might want to check it out if you ever get your head out of Italy.

* Quickfire: blindfolded pantry raid. Goofy, but certainly the idea that you should be able to identify ingredients by touch and smell has merit. Winner gets a choice between a new Prius or a guaranteed spot in the finals. This seems weak to me – you get to the finals by winning a quickfire?

* The footage of the chefs groping around the kitchen while blindfolded wasn’t all that entertaining, although Tom had an evil laugh going. There’s food on the floor and shellfish loose in the fridge. Cleanup on aisle artificial drama.

* Bev accidentally gets avocado, but she’s making fish, which is a pretty natural pairing. I felt like she could have won this thing if she’d cooked her fish through, but I think Tom feels about fish the way I do – if it’s not actually being served raw, it needs to be cooked to at least medium-rare. The shot of Bev running across the kitchen with the fish in one hand and her ten-inch chef’s knife in the other, tip pointed out, was terrifying. Her food may be great, but I wouldn’t want to share a kitchen with her.

* Ed gets pork casings instead of pancetta but makes lemonade, figuratively, by using the casings (pig intestinal linings, high in connective tissue) to make a broth for his soup. That’s the kind of cleverness the show should be rewarding, in my didn’t-taste-the-food opinion.

* Paul’s shrimp is also a touch undercooked. I don’t like raw shrimp, and I think undercooked shrimp has a really weird, unpleasant texture, so I could understand Tom’s immediate, negative reaction to the dish. Do you ever wonder (as I do) if the judges subconsciously hold Paul to a higher standard, because he’s so far ahead of the group?

* Lindsay makes fish with bulgur wheat at charred greens on top, putting her right in the middle of the group.

* Sarah makes corn soup with roasted mushrooms and peaches. Tom loved it, and she should get points for a non-obvious flavor combo, although nothing there was as clever as Ed’s broth. She wins, which I think is her first Quickfire win, and takes the guaranteed spot in the final four, which Ed labels a lack of confidence. I would have called it lazy, but your mileage may vary. And does anyone doubt that Sarah’s motormouth would have been in fourth gear, ready to run over any other chef who made that same choice? (Hat tip to my wife for raising that last point.)

* Elimination challenge: make a dish to impress your mentor. At least two of these mentors have been on before as judges or as Top Chef Masters. Waterworks commence immediately. Tito, give me some tissue.

* Ed can’t get fresh oysters so he chooses canned smoked oysters instead. Chefs on this show often pick ingredients they should know you can’t always get at whole foods, and never seem to remember how often a chef has been sent home for using one substandard ingredient, whether it’s canned or precooked or just not top-quality. Everyone loves his pickles and crisped pork belly skin, though.

* Lindsay makes errors of self-doubt by overloading a Mediterranean fish dish with a cream sauce and some dried herbs that she probably added too late for them to hydrate and mellow. You don’t get a lot of cream in Mediterranean fish plates because the regions where fish is central to the cuisine have typically had less cattle husbandry.

* Beverly takes a huge risk by cooking to order in the wok for eight people, making gulf shrimp and BBQ pork Singapore noodles. That’s a sensible risk given the history of the show, though – there’s substantial upside in showing you have a skill most others don’t, and can organize yourself to the point where you can pull this kind of fast, last-minute cooking off successfully.

* Paul takes a bigger risk by serving a cold sunchoke and dashi soup that’s assembled tableside with what was apparently a very delicate balance of seasonings across all of his ingredients. (Before Paul, when was the last time someone won an elimination challenge with a chilled/cold dish?) Hugh hasn’t blogged yet this week, but Gail wrote that it was the best Top Chef dish she’d ever had, and that the decision here wasn’t particularly close.

* Judges’ table: I told you who won. He and Bev move on, only to go to the stew room where Sarah gives Paul a big hug and Bev the finger. Paul showed wisdom in knowing when to stop adding ingredients or flavors. Comments like that from judges make me think Paul would succeed in any season, not just in this weak crop.

* No mentors at JT, just Tom, Padma, Hugh, and Gail. Gail loves everything but the smoked oyster sauce, and can’t explain why. Hugh points out that Ed had a great dish under there and buried it with one bad choice. Tom gets all double-u-tee-eff on Ed for using canned oysters. Hugh has the money line, of course: “you need to go to the store and see what’s great in the market and cook from there.” Everyone should cook like that.

* Ed is eliminated and says he was knocked out by Beverly. Uh, no. You were knocked out by a canned oyster. But I’ll still try your braised brisket with bourbon-peach glaze recipe from the latest issue of Bon Appetit.

* Final three: Paul and Lindsay are still standing, and I will take Bev over Sarah.