Help.

I’m at a wedding and the dj is playing “Sweet Caroline” … and he’s pausing like we’re in the 8th inning at Fenway. Someone call 911 – I’m about to fake my own death.

UPDATE: He’s also played “Time to Say Goodbye” – beautiful song, not exactly appropriate for a wedding – and Pink Floyd’s “Us and Them.” Not sure I can explain that one at all.

Comments

  1. Champagne can make nearly anything sound good.

  2. or enough of it, i should say

  3. Let’s see, they should have also played Proud Mary and The Bunny Hop. Good times.

  4. or the chicken dance

  5. Blogging from a wedding – such devotion to your craft!

  6. That’s hysterical. It could be worse- you could be watching the NFL draft. There’s so much hot air in that room I’m surprised people aren’t passing out.

    D-Backs and Pads are 7-7 in the bottom of the 10th. Stream updates from the game- it will make you feel human again.

  7. I am actually watching the NFL draft.

  8. Were people doing the “BAH Bah bah!!!”? And the “So Good, So Good, So Good!”? Because that would have been enough for me.

    Wait, who am I kidding? I probably would have been drunk and doing it too.

  9. Yes, they were doing the baa-baa-baa like the sheep that they are.

    The DJ also played “Y.M.C.A.,” because there’s nothing like a song about casual gay sex to help celebrate a (heterosexual) wedding.

    On the plus side, the food was well above typical wedding-food quality and the desserts were good-restaurant quality. And I haven’t even gotten into the talent pool – one was an 80 and several were 55s or 60s, if you know what I mean.

  10. You had me at “I’m at a wedding.”

  11. Weddings aren’t about star power, they’re about depth. One 80 and several 55/60’s is a decent haul I’d say.

  12. Keith, Hanley Ramirez looks better defensively this season, even approaching slightly below-average status. Any chance he keeps it for the rest of the season?

  13. Worst reception DJ ever: grandfather of my friend, the groom, collapses after dancing to Sinatra with his two daughters and tragically dies. However, the DJ in his infinite wisdom only turns down the music rather than completely off as people scramble to revive him.

    Echoing through this man’s final moments on our mortal coil was… “Hot in Herre” by Nelly. Ouch.

  14. I was once at a wedding where they played Fleetwood Mac’s “Go your own way.” Now that was inappropriate.

  15. Wait, YMCA is a song about casual gay sex? That song was always played at the middle school dances my Catholic school hosted…

  16. My brother-in-law marched down the aisle to Elton’s “Funeral For a Friend,” so believe me, things could be worse.

    $10 says you’ve still got “Maneater” by Nelly Furtado in your bleak future.

  17. just a random tidbit: time to say goodbye is good for weddings because the english translation of the title isn’t really accurate. The italian title, Con te Partiro, goes roughly “with you i will go.”

  18. The English/Italian version has a chorus of “Time to say goodbye.” Maybe that could be the last song played, but this was in the middle of the wedding.

  19. Irony, perhaps?

    Keith, someone in the Rays’ PA department blared “Sweet Caroline” after the Rays got the final out to sweep the Red Sox on Sunday.

  20. The most inappropriate selection I recall hearing at a wedding was “Last Resort” by Papa Roach. To make matters worse the groom had undergone emergency brain surgery 2 weeks before and the DJ played it during one of the 3times he was able to make it to the dance floor.

    Sometimes you really do want to go up and ask “what are you thinking?”

  21. The fault lies not with the DJ, but with the bride and groom who did not properly control the DJ. A “Do Not Play” list is a must. You don’t need to tie the band/DJs hands, but certain things should never be played and the same goes for played out songs as well.

  22. I don’t know if I agree that the bride and groom are at fault. At my wedding, we really didn’t have any songs on the “do not play” list and the songs above were not played. A lot of it has to do with just common sense on the part of the DJ.

    Funny/strange story about a wedding I attended last year. One of the bride’s friends showed up in a tight leapord skin dress. I also went to a friend’s wedding where the groom’s family was from West Virginia. Words cannot properly describe what went on.

  23. The only way this could have been worse would have been if it were played by a wedding band.

  24. Keith,

    You should of requested New York, New York (performed by Frank Sinatra), I’m sure that would of went over well.

  25. Where else on the Internet can one find legitimate Hanley Ramirez questions mixed in with scouting scale analysis of wedding “talent?” I was going to make a bad “Moneyball” joke, but I’ll spare you all. Keith, you’ve got yourself one hell of a website- I love it.

    Also, I’m a huge Floyd fan but it’s not hard to recognize few (if any) of their tracks have a place at a (drug-free) wedding reception.

  26. Any Frank Sinatra song at a wedding or a restaurant pretty much does it for me.

  27. went to a wedding where the dj played sour times by portishead. (at the request of the bride and groom) again, not a bad song, just not appropriate for a wedding. they didn’t last, btw…..

  28. this is why my wife and i gave the DJ a playlist for our wedding. we also told him, no requets and he wasn’t able to talk on the microphone

  29. I missed the Hanley question above – I haven’t seen a Florida game at all, even on TV, so I’m not sure what to make of it. The Hardball Times’ fielding stats have him below the median at short in Revised Zone Rating so far. (Is anyone else shocked about Hardy’s rating? I never thought he was plus at short, but holy crap.)

    At my own wedding, I had told the DJ beforehand that novelty dances were strictly forbidden. About two-thirds of the way through, I hear the opening of “Y.M.C.A.” I was told afterwards by friends that they had never seen me move that fast.

  30. I think that all wedding music is fine as long as the dj moves things along.

  31. Keith, I don’t pretend to be an expert on those stats, but their glossary does say that the Revised Zone Rating should be looked at together with the Out of Zone Rating, and Hardy is far and away the best in that category with 16 plays, when everyone else except Reyes (2) is between 5 and 10. I suspect that the Brewers shift significantly more than any other team, and that the zone rating gets thrown off because of that. It does make one question a bit how much those statistics tell us.

  32. Preston – that’s a good point. I missed Hardy’s OOZ number but I checked Hanley’s, which wasn’t that strong.

  33. One of the real splurges for my wedding was a good band, the energy of which a DJ just can’t match. And I have to say “Bravo”, Keith, becuase I had a no line dance rule. They were mostly Motown and R&B, with a big horn section…I can’t imagine how horrified I would have been if I’d heard the opening strains of YMCA…

  34. I had Alice Cooper songs played at my wedding so who am I to talk? But yes, no YMCA, chicken dances, or Celebration.

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